It is Thursday evening. I want it to be next Tuesday morning.
This week started out on a sour note with a case of the flu in the middle of the night on Saturday. Sunday got no better, for reasons I do not need to discuss in a blog. On Tuesday morning there was an emergency meeting called at work, in which leadership announced that there would be 25 layoffs on Thursday. Great. Just what everyone wants to hear. Wednesday morning kicked off with the call that our co-worker Rocky's daughter has been killed in a car wreck. That pretty much ruined yesterday. All day long a cloud hung over me, and the tears kept coming. Today, Thursday, was layoff day. My heart is breaking for our friends who lost their jobs today. Matt came home from work early today to pack. He's covering the Colorado Springs event for Rocky this weekend, and he flies out tomorrow. He will be gone until Monday afternoon. I'm glad he can help out our friend. It is just hard to let him go when I'm feeling so fragile inside.
Snapper and Pepper have had a rough day today. I think they sense the gloom in the air. More then once today I have wanted to lock them in their rooms and pull out my hair in frustration. But of course, I would never do that. Pulling out my hair hurts too much. Ha ha! Really though, all day I have tried to function, but have not been able to get pass that dreadful weight of a sense of impending doom. The layoffs hit hard, but I knew that wasn't what was making me feel so horrible. I jumped every time the phone rang, and found my heart racing at strange times. I kept wondering if maybe I was having some sort of panic attack.
And then came the call. The one I'd been dreading without knowing why. Brian and Carol have been our best friends here in Arkansas ever since about 6 months after we moved here. A few weeks back, Brian got a promotion and they moved with their 3 girls (and pregnant Carol) to Tennessee. Brian called tonight to tell us that Carol is in the process of losing the baby. She is 20 weeks along, and is having to go through labor and deliver the baby. Everything was fine at her last doctor's appointment a couple of weeks ago, so they have no clue why she is miscarrying. We're all praying that the doctors will be able to figure out what happened, that there will be closure for their family.
I thought I was out of tears.
I thought we had hit the bottom.
Is it really only Thursday?
I want it to be Tuesday so the sun will be shining and Matt's trip will be over and Nikki's funeral will be done and so we'll know what happened with my sweet friend and her baby.
Somebody wake me up, please.
This nightmare has gone on long enough.