tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90494909352063104292024-03-13T17:54:46.628-04:00Masterpiece MotheringDelightful details on the canvas of everyday lifeEmilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.comBlogger723125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-81907188294753371402020-06-22T01:02:00.001-04:002020-06-22T01:12:33.860-04:00How Are We Doing?Besides Snapper's graduation post, I haven't posted here in over a year! I should probably do an update on each of the kiddos<br />
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<b>Bean (19)</b></div>
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Bean has had quite a year! It started out incredibly rough, as we were working on adjusting to life in America, plus learning English, plus trying to figure out meds and therapies. We switched schools to get him into our zoned school. We'd had him in a smaller school, hoping it would be less overwhelming for him. He was really unhappy that we switched schools at first. But after the first few months, he found that the new school was MUCH better for him. He ended up having a really good year! I still don't think he'll ever be able to read. But he's learning so many other important things. He's in the developmental learning center for four periods each day, and then a period each of Life Skills and ELL. He also got to play Unified Basketball (Special Olympics), and our school came in 2nd in our region! We've had many wonderful firsts this year. He has stopped calling Matt and me by our first names and is calling us Mommy and Daddy! He cried in front of us on Christmas when I gave him a collage frame of photos of his foster home in his birth country where he lived for 7 years. He said "I love you" and meant it! He apologized without being told to. He made a friend! Bean still goes to work with Daddy on Saturdays, and he loves working on appliances. He is responsible for mowing our whole property (3 acres of grass to mow...), which he loves because it means using the riding mower. He loves his X-Box and computer games, and watching car repair videos and farming videos on YouTube. He also loves riding his bike and roller skating. Bean still has a great sense of humor, and he loves to tease. He makes us laugh every day. Parenting Bean is not easy. His past trauma is huge and his disabilities require huge patience and creativity. I never cease to marvel at my amazing husband. He is exactly the right dad for Bean, and he's doing great! </div>
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<b>Snapper (almost 18)</b></div>
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I'm still in a state of denial that our girl is moving out in 9 weeks. We're cherishing every day with her. You already know that she had a fantastic school year, despite the interruption of Covid. She and her sweetheart decided to part ways at the end of last summer, which was an adjustment for her, after being close friends for 3 years. She's really looking forward to college this fall, and to the new friendships she's bound to make. Snapper has a full summer ahead of her! She's really hoping the water park will open, because she has a full-time job lined up there. She also auditioned for a job as a back-up singer with a local jazz band. She did so well that they offered her a job as one of their two female soloists! They're booked for several gigs this fall, and she is so excited! They're doing primarily swing music this year, which is tons of fun. </div>
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<b>Joy (16)</b></div>
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This girl is an absolute miracle! She came to us dismally behind in school...like years and years behind. She completely believed that she was stupid, ugly, and unable to succeed. Our school is WONDERFUL and they've done a great job at supporting and encouraging our sweet girl. We've worked very hard at home to build her up and help her see what a gem she is. She finished out this school year with a 4.0 gpa, and all her classes are in English! She expressed to me her desire to try to take extra classes so she can graduate on time, rather than having a second senior year. I spoke with her ELL teacher and her counselor, and they agreed with me that Joy can handle it! She's taking Geometry and Food & Wellness over the summer, and will take a zero-hour class this fall. She'll take two more classes online next summer, and she'll have enough credits to graduate on time. We're so proud of her determination and hard work! Joy has a sweet best friend who is a refugee, being hosted by an American family. Joy is a total homebody. She likes to listen to music, paint her nails, and hang out with her sisters. She played volleyball at school last year, and she's planning to play again this fall. Joy has worked hard to learn how to trust a mom and a dad, and she astonishes us with how brave and open she is. She continues to be the peacemaker in our home. She lives up to her blog name (she is pure JOY), and she has been the easiest adopted kiddo ever. In fact, if every adoption were this simple, I'd adopt again and again! Oh, how we love this girl!</div>
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<b>Bubbles (15)</b></div>
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What an incredibly trying year for our strong, resilient girl! Bubbles tried out for cheer, color guard, and dance at the high school, but she did not make any of the teams. She decided that God must have other plans for her. Despite the intense disappointment, she held her head up and moved forward, looking for what God wanted for her. It turned out to be a very good thing that she wasn't on any teams, because she contracted mono in early October. She was a very, very sick girl. The doctor was very concerned because Bubbles had significant enlargement of her spleen. She slept 18 hours per day from mid-October thru Christmas. Homebound services worked with her on school, but she wasn't really able to do anything. She was just too exhausted and foggy. She went back to school after Christmas break, and she still had to play catch-up on a lot of work before finals at the end of January. That would've been hard to any kid after missing almost 3 months of school! Throw in her learning disabilities, and it was a recipe for disaster. But Bubbles is a fighter, and she worked her tail off and passed every class! Her gpa wasn't impressive, but she passed. She was just starting to hit stride when Covid came along and shut down school. Distance learning was HARD for this girl. She struggles just to pass classes <i>with</i> the daily help and support of her teachers. The work that was supposed to take 3 hours per day took her 6+ hours per day. But again, she persisted and worked hard. She finished the school year with no missing assignments! I took her out for all-you-can-eat frozen yogurt to celebrate a 3.18 gpa for second semester! What a rock star! The hardest part of this year for Bubbles has been losing her best friend. The friend was making some poor choices and refused to listen to guidance. Bubbles made the painful choice to put up some healthy boundaries, and lost the friendship because of it. But her decision was the right one, a decision that will set her up for success down the road. Learning to draw the lines between right and wrong--even at great personal cost--is so important! She's working on developing other friendships now, and she's excited for school this fall. She tried out for dance and color guard again, and this time she made both teams! Bubbles is another source of pure joy for us. When I look at her and think about the first 6 1/2 years of her life, and what a nightmare she lived, I'm blown away at the amazing person she has become. Our road with her was so rough for so long, but Matt and I were agreeing today that we'd do it all over again.</div>
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<b>Piper (14)</b></div>
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When I go back and read my post from last year, I'm thankful that my post this year has quite adifferent flavor! When you adopt of a child who has endured incredible trauma, and also had prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs, you run a very high risk that the child's scars will be too deep to overcome. When we adopted Piper, Bubbles, and Sunny, we had no clue the degree of what they'd been through. Honestly, if we had known, we wouldn't have adopted them. The risk would've been too high for us. I'm SO GLAD WE DIDN'T KNOW! If we'd said no, we would've missed so much! We've had incredible struggles with Piper. Even 6 months ago, I was trying to fight despair, doubting she would ever be healed enough to live a normal adult life. Y'all...I don't know what happened, but somewhere around February, Piper's life flipped a u-turn! We've seen exponential growth in her over the last few months. The lying, stealing, manipulation, extreme meanness, lack of empathy, and school apathy that were so overwhelming have almost completely disappeared. All of a sudden, she is kind to her siblings, respectful to Matt and me, responsible with her schoolwork, honest, humble, and remorseful when she has done something wrong. After years of never hearing "I'm sorry" cross her lips, she is suddenly able to authentically apologize. She'll admit when she is wrong. She has caught herself and come clean when she has deceived me. She's growing in her social skills, and has been invited to three friends' houses...something that has only happened twice in the 8 years we've had her! I can only chalk it up to a miracle, because that's what was needed. Her recent neuropsych evaluation showed only two minor diagnoses, neither of which are serious! Her doctor expects that Piper will be able to live a totally normal life as a healthy, functional adult! A miracle, y'all! Piper is really looking forward to high school this fall. She tried out for color guard and made the team! She's also signed up for Pro-Start, the culinary program at the high school. I'm sad that she won't be continuing with choir, but glad to see her wanting to branch out and explore other things. Piper continues to love being with our little Sweet Pea. The two of them spend hours together every day. Piper is a wonderful babysitter! She is still goofy and says the most ridiculous, off-the-wall things. But she keeps us laughing. After 2 1/2 years of having steel plates in her legs, the work is done and the legs are straight! She's having surgery to remove the plates next week. She's not happy about having to do P.E. again after being exempt for two years, but she's very happy the plates are coming out. I'm so happy to be able to share this all this great news! For those of you who have kids who are struggling, don't give up. Miracles do happen. We're living proof of that!</div>
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<b>Pepper (14 in a few weeks)</b></div>
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Like Piper, Pepper has had a year of wonderful growth...both personal and physical. At not quite 14, he's 5'11" and weighs a whopping 98 pounds. He's the epitome of string bean! If anyone has any size 28/36 jeans you'd like to send our way, let me know...</div>
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Pepper's med change a year ago was the right one, and he has only had two seizures in the last 14 months! His sweet service dog, Padfoot, continues to be a blessing to our whole family! I've never known such a loving, gentle, mannerly dog. Pepper had a fantastic school year. After 4 years in our wonderful alternative school, he has decided he's ready to return to our mainstream school. He's still a genius, and he's looking forward to some very challenging classes this fall. He is also very excited to play marimbas in the marching band! Pepper still loves reading and playing video games. He especially loves playing Fortnight with his best friend, Nik, and he chafes at the time limits I place on his gaming. Since he was a tiny little guy, Pepper has been the kindest, gentlest, most forgiving soul; nothing has changed! He is a favorite with all the teachers and administration at our alternative school, and they're so sad he's leaving. I love my tall, skinny boy, and I can't believe he's a high schooler!</div>
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<b>Sweet Pea (6)</b></div>
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Spicy, sassy, and sweet are the best words to describe our little caboose! She has left early childhood behind her and is a full-fledged kid! She had a really, really hard time adjusting to school last fall. Even though she attends the alternative school where I teach, she just couldn't get comfortable. Lots of tears, lots of support from teachers and peers, and lots of sticker charts later, she finally settled in and got comfortable in December. Academically, though, she had no problems! She's brilliant like Snapper and Pepper, and she's actually going to be starting 2nd grade this fall! I love that our school enables her to work at her own level while remaining in class with her age mates. Sweet Pea loves anything that allows her to be active. Riding her bike (she's a speed demon without training wheels), riding her scooter, jumping rope, roller skating, dancing, and doing cartwheels are her m.o. She moves constantly, and most likely has ADHD. She's great at schoolwork (loves to read), but has a very short attention span. She also loves to watch movies, play board games, and play with her dolls and stuffed animals. Piper is her very best friend, but she also has some wonderful friends her age. Sweet Pea fills my heart to overflowing with her happy, loving, cheerful personality. She is pampered and adored by all her siblings, who give her whatever she wants. She'd definitely spoiled, and I'm having to devote extra energy to working through the issues that come with being doted on by 6 older sibs. Overall, though, our baby is a delight! We love her to pieces. (The scab on her forehead was where she ended up with stitches after she discovered that speedy bikes don't turn well on gravel...)</div>
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<b>Sunny (12)</b></div>
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It is hard to believe that Sunny has not lived with us in three years. My heart still aches that she can't live with us. But I'm so thankful that her story didn't follow the track we thought it would. I'm so thankful that Matt's sister and brother-in-law stepped up and offered to help us with Sunny. Three years of being an only child has been for better for her than any residential program would've been. Diana is the best possible advocate for Sunny. She works tirelessly to make sure Sunny has everything she needs. She pulled Sunny out of public school in November and started homeschooling her. I don't know how she does it! But it has paid off, and Sunny is skipping 6th grade! This makes up for the year we lost when Sunny needed to repeat 1st grade. I'm so happy for her! Sunny still loves playing soccer, and worked up the courage to play goalie this year. She still loves snowboarding, too. We will never stop praying for a miracle for Sunny, though. While she's doing so well in some areas, she will always experience the consequences of her parents' bad choices. Life will always be hard for her. She has some very deep, complex scars. But she's in the best place she could possibly be, and I'm glad we still get to be part of her life.</div>
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I don't know if I'll update this blog again any time soon. Having five high schoolers and a busy mini-teen keeps me on my toes (and in my car) a lot! Plus, I'll be working even more this fall. I love teaching math! It's my favorite job ever! I'll update if I get around to it. =) I hope you all are well out there in the bloggyverse!</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-6424021698975512412020-06-17T01:57:00.001-04:002020-06-17T01:57:42.362-04:00I Blinked Last week Whitney graduated from high school. She won the music departmental award, and wore several honor cords. She was a triple letterman, earning varsity letters in Swimming, Music, and Theater. In addition, after completing the Running Start program, she is also graduating from the community college with an A.A. degree, with high honors! She earned a full-ride scholarship to her first choice university, and will be starting there this fall! She's majoring in Music Education with vocal performance and choral concentrations. Having two years of college already complete will allow her to jump straight into her degree program! Because Music requires 4 years for skill progression, Whitney will be able to double minor in Theater and Dance, and she'll also earn her high school music teaching credential, with Theater and Dance endorsements. I'm so incredibly proud of the amazing young woman Whitney has become! While she is very intelligent and talented, she is also humble, kind, compassionate, generous, responsible, reliable, forgiving, hard-working, gracious, wise beyond her years, and she operates from the highest level of integrity. She loves God mightily, and is committed to living her life for Him.<br />
Just yesterday I was writing on this blog about my plans for her 1st grade year of homeschooling. And then I blinked, and here we are. I blinked and it's gone.<br />
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-1554872206365230072019-05-18T23:11:00.000-04:002019-05-18T23:11:22.885-04:00Another Year Has Flown ByI can't believe over a year has passed since I last posted! It has been one of the busiest years of my life. I'll update family updates, followed by brief kid updates.<br />
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<li>June 2018- Following in the footsteps of our dear friends, we hosted an orphan girl from Eastern Europe. She brought the life and joy back into our family. </li>
<li>July 2018- After hearing our family's unique story, a dog breeder made it possible for us to afford a service dog puppy for Pepper, to help him manage his epilepsy! Padfoot joined our family and he is an incredible treasure!</li>
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<li>August 2018- We began the faith walk of pursuing adoption of "Joy" and her brother "Bean." The circumstances surrounding their situation were impossible. We were told it would be impossible to adopt them, as we would have to set an all-time record for their country. That was nearly impossible without a crazy set of hurdles that were pretty much unheard of. One adoption agency even turned down our case! </li>
<li>September 2018- I rejoined the professional world and began teaching math part-time at an alternative school.</li>
<li>August-October 2018- Paperwork. Prayer. Tears. Money. Trust God. Repeat.</li>
<li>November 2018- Through the most astounding series of miracles, the impossible became reality and we traveled to Europe to bring Joy and Bean home.</li>
<li>January 2019- I returned to Europe and finalized the adoption in court, just a few weeks ahead of the impossible deadline.</li>
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GOD DID IT. There's no other explanation.</div>
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<li>June 2019- We make our last trip to Europe to finalize details at the U.S. Embassy.</li>
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INTRODUCING....</div>
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Bean and Joy, our two newest additions!</div>
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<b>Bean (18)</b></div>
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Bean suffers from the consequences of his birth mom's alcohol abuse and years of profound neglect. Life is not easy for him as he functions as an 8-year-old in an 18-year-old body. He can't read or do much math. But he loves all things mechanical and is good at puttering around and fixing things. He's a hard worker and earns a lot of money doing yard work for neighbors and family members. Last week he used some his money to buy an ancient riding mower off craigsli$t and he is having a blast renovating it. He also enjoys playing video games, riding his bike, drinking Dr. Pepper, and working with Daddy one day per week. He doesn't like small kids at all, but he does well with our family. He has a great sense of humor and loves to make jokes. He also really likes to help with house work. It has been challenging adding Bean to our family, but we all love him and we're so glad he's ours!</div>
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<b>Joy (15)</b></div>
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Joy managed to dodge the FASD bullet somehow, and though she's quite behind in school, she's very smart and is learning at an astounding rate! Her English is progressing much faster than Bean's, though both kids have good enough English to function in America. She is quiet and gentle, and brings balance to our home. She gets along with all our kids and has helped soothe many tensions between siblings in our family. Joy loves to play volleyball and basketball. She's looking forward to playing on the high school team this fall! She also loves her pet bunny, Onyx. Joy is learning what it is like to have parents, as she has never experienced a loving mom and dad before. She has finally reached the point of being able to trust me with the things of her heart. We love this sweet girl so much!</div>
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<b>Snapper (16 1/2)</b></div>
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It's hard to think that my precious Snapper was a little 5-year-old when I started this blog! Now she's taking full-time college classes for dual credit! She's just 3 weeks away from the end of 11th grade and the first meeting for senior class parents is next week. She has a stack of college mail a mile high, but she has already chosen her university, where she'll major in Vocal Performance. Her vocal honors have continued to stack up this year, as she has won numerous competitions, and brought home the top soloist award from Disney's music festival in Anaheim this spring! She has been accepted by our region's top vocal instructor, and she beings lessons in a few weeks. Snapper remains the sweet, tender-hearted, compassionate girl she has always been. She's a champion for the underdog and marginalized, a friend to all, and the encourager of so many. She's a hard worker, has a joyful spirit, and blesses me throughout every day. We especially love the young man in her life. They're not dating, but they are the best of friends and hope it will be more than that down the road. They sing together in their jazz and chamber choirs, in performances, and just for fun, too. His talent matches her, so they're a dynamite duo! (The photo of the two of them was taken last night at their high school talent show where they performed "The Phantom of the Opera."</div>
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<b>Bubbles (14 1/2)</b></div>
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The positive changes in Bubbles' life last year have stuck! She is a delightful young lady. I homeschooled her this year and she made more fabulous gains! She'll start high school this fall in all regular classes, with support in English. Never in a thousand years would I have imagined she could accomplish this! She is a really hard worker, and her work has paid off. Bubbles has an amazing best friend and a great group of friends. She stretched herself this year and auditioned for "The Jungle Book" at school. She earned a few supporting roles and had a blast being on stage! She tried out for high school cheer but did not make the team. She quickly wiped away the tears and decided to try out for color guard. I think she'll be great at it! Bubbles is energetic, funny, friendly, loyal, and is the voice of comedy in our home. I can't imagine how much quieter and more boring our life would've been if we hadn't adopted her!</div>
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<b>Piper (13)</b></div>
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Piper continues to struggle with life in general. Despite having a great school year last year, this year has not been good. Her favorite teacher had a stroke in class early on during the school year, and that threw Piper for a spin. While she adores Joy and Bean, adding two new siblings was a disruption in her life and that is evident in her school performance. Piper is not naturally a kind girl, so we're working hard on treating others with kindness. We're making some baby steps in the right direction, and I just pray we can keep moving that way. Piper does have some wonderful strengths, though! She is very nurturing with little kids. She and Sweet Pea are joined at the hip, and she has basically given Sweet Pea a preschool education! Seriously...she needs to be a preschool teacher someday! Piper also has a beautiful voice. She has always been TERRIFIED of being on stage. But this year she decided she's tired of being afraid, and signed herself up for middle school choir. She has completely overcome her crippling fear of performing! She even auditioned for honors choir a few weeks ago and has asked her teacher to consider her for solos! This is such huge growth for Piper and we're really proud of her. She also loves to do hair and comes up with creative new styles almost every day. Her legs have straightened out some after a year with plates in her knees. The doctors will re-check in 6 months to see if the plates can come out. In the meantime, she's thrilled that she can opt out of P.E.</div>
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<b>Pepper (almost 13)</b></div>
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My sweet little boy isn't so little anymore! He has grown 5 inches already this school year and will be passing Snapper in height within the next few months! He's still on track to be 6'3" or so! The huge growth spurt has messed up his epilepsy, though, and we've had a hard time managing his seizures. After spending a week in the hospital, the doctors found a new med that has made a world of difference! We're currently at 6 weeks without a seizure. We're thankful for Padfoot, who alerts Pepper of an impending seizure and barks until I come. He's such a good little dog! The seizures have been quite disruptive to Pepper's school year. Regardless, he's way ahead of where he needs to be, and is looking forward to starting high school classes this fall. Pepper loves playing his guitar, Pokemon hunting, spending time with his best friend, and reading. He's still the most gentle, patient, forgiving soul. He loves his sisters well and is thrilled to have a brother!</div>
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<b>Sweet Pea (5)</b></div>
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Can you believe she is 5??? I can't! Sweet Pea is--without a doubt--my most energetic child. She is a constant bundle of energy, never sitting still for a moment. She is constantly dancing, singing, creating, playing, running, jumping, and climbing. She loves riding her bike and scooter, playing with Padfoot and our kittens. drawing, painting, doing ballet, playing with her dolls, and playing with Meghan. She says the funniest things and loves to laugh. She is soft-hearted and teachable, generous and kind, very affectionate and gentle, and very smart. She's looking forward to kindergarten this fall. I'm so glad God saw fit to give us this child, long after I thought my baby days were over!</div>
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<b>Sunny (11)</b></div>
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Sunny remains the same Sunny. Her struggles continue, intensified somewhat by the onset of puberty. She is receiving excellent care and has good doctors working with her. I'm still so relieved that she can remain part of our family without the impossibility of having to survive in a large family. She is so much better off getting to be an only child! Because of the peace and security in her home, she's able to function decently outside of the house. She plays soccer (which she is crazy about), learned to snowboard this winter, and is excelling in school. Though she'll always struggle because of what happened to her in her early years, she's in the best possible place and we're so glad! I still have tears, wishing I could've given her what she needed. But I couldn't make her the only child. Ultimately, I'm happy that she's happy, and happy that she's able to live close to us.</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-30027204095937687862018-04-24T00:41:00.000-04:002018-04-24T00:41:12.970-04:00Updates, Spring 2018Wow. I haven't posted anything since New Year's Day. Life is moving on at a crazy pace and blog has not been high on the priority list. I guess the best thing to do while I have a few minutes is give an update on each kid.<br />
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<b>Snapper</b> is nearing the end of her sophomore year. Life is moving along pretty smoothly for her right now. She has done a lot of travel and competition with her jazz and chamber choirs for school, and has earned top honors. She got to sing in Washington's All-State choir, the only kid from our whole school district who made it this year! She had the guts to audition for a solo at All-State and she got one! She earned the outstanding female vocalist award at a big jazz festival in Seattle, and a Superior at the Solo and Ensemble Fest. She landed a main role in her school's spring musical, which opens next week! Snapper has the most wonderful group of friends ever and she spends as much time with them as possible. She'll be participating in a special program starting this fall that will give her high school and college credit for her classes the next two years! She's looking forward to going on a missions trip with her youth group this summer.<br />
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<b>Bubbles</b> is finishing up 7th grade. She has had an incredible school year. We live in a wonderful school district, and with the amazing support she has received, she was able to transition out of resource math into regular 7th grade math, and she has a solid B in the class! I got notification last week from her resource English teacher that she's almost ready to move out of resource English, too! This girl has overcome so much over the last *almost* six years that she has been ours. She hasn't gotten to do any sports this year due to tendinitis in her knees, but she has kept a good attitude. She made some really poor choices earlier in the year and had to live with some tough consequences. But rather than denying or blaming others as she has always done, she owned her mistakes and humbly received the consequences. As we worked through the tangled aftermath of her choices, she understood for the first time how much we love her and have her back. She understood that not even big mistakes will stop us from loving her. She made the conscious decision to let go of the last threads of her past and to trust us completely. This decision has transformed everything about her life. All of a sudden, my relationship with Bubbles is going deep. No more secrets. No more hiding things. No more trying to navigate life on her own. The results are breathtaking! We stay up late at night talking. We laugh together. She has purposed to be completely truthful. And she's noticing how much better she feels! She is overflowing with laughter and fun. She's following house rules and managing her responsibilities without complaint. She's getting along with all her siblings. Look at this picture of her and see the pure joy! Matt and I are so proud of her, and so glad that the last several (hard) years are behind us. When I look at who this precious girl is today, all the struggle has been worth it!</div>
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<b>Piper</b><br />
After an incredibly difficult 5th grade year, in which Bubbles completely failed, I wasn't super optimistic about Piper's chances at success in school. We changed schools and the very wise principal put her in a 5th/6th combo class this year. Her gentle, patient, nurturing teacher has given Piper a fresh start and new confidence. Despite receiving a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome diagnosis last fall, Piper has made huge progress! Despite falling flat on her face academically, she has made up all the lost ground and is on <i>or above</i> grade level in all her 6th grade work! She has blossomed socially and has three wonderful friends at school. She's happy and content at school, and confident for the first time ever. She has horrible stage fright, but she has determined to overcome it. She signed up to be in choir when she starts jr. high this fall. Piper has had a tough year physically. Her foot started hurting in September. After several months of physical therapy with only a little bit of progress, her therapist sent her to Shriner's Children's Hospital to see a specialist. We were shocked and saddened to learn that due to malnutrition in her early years and prenatal drug and alcohol exposure, Piper's legs had started to warp as she grew. Two weeks ago she had surgery to correct the growth direction of her legs. She's getting around better now, but it has been a tough road for her. We're hoping that the next few years will bring the same emotional turnaround for Piper that has just happened for Bubbles. So much potential in this sweet girl.<br />
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<b>Pepper</b><br />
This guy is the most complex child! He's 11, but because he's on the autism spectrum, he struggles quite a bit socially. He behaves more like a 9-year-old. Academically, he's a genius. A legitimate genius, according to his neuropsychologist, not according to me. We're wrapping up his second year of homeschooling, and when I'm ever asked to list his grade level, I just put a laughing emoji. He completed Algebra 1 with a 100% on the final exam. In the month of March, he read 6,500 pages. He wrote a 5-page research paper on his own. He's a gifted artist, too. Pepper has had his own share of health issues this year. He has started to really grow, and the growth threw off the balance of his epilepsy medication. He had several seizures last month. This is tough on him because whenever his "days seizure free" counter resets, he has to go back to being constantly supervised until he has gone a month without a seizure. He maintains a good attitude though, and has learned how to monitor himself and his seizures. Pepper is a sweet, caring brother and friend. I love this little enigma of a person!<br />
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<b>Sweet Pea</b><br />
Our baby just turned 4 years old. I can't wrap my head around this fact! She is the most vibrant, spicy, loving little girl. She's very naughty, but most of her naughtiness makes us laugh. Just today, she "wiped really really well" and attempted to flush a whole roll of toilet paper. She "planted" all my seeds for me. She tried to put away the new gallon of milk. She fed the cats...in their water bowl. With their water. She says the funniest things! She loves without reservation and shares generously. She loves people and remembers the names of everyone she meets. She loves to dance. Loves to draw and color and paint. Loves to ride her bike. Loves to play with our kitties. Loves to snuggle with Mommy and Daddy. Sweet Pea is such joy! Pure joy.<br />
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<b>Sunny</b></div>
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I'm not able to post a photo of Sunny. She has been gone from our home for 14 months now. Matt's sister and brother-in-law have completely taken over parenting her, and she has fully transitioned into their family. The only-child home has been exactly what Sunny needed. She has the full, undivided attention of two parents. She doesn't have to compete for anything. She can't get away with anything. There's no noise or chaos to throw her off. And she is thriving! She's getting great grades in school, is completely off of her behavior IEP, and had a successful season on a soccer team. We see her once or twice a month and she's always glad to see us. But she's happy, y'all. Happy and content. Not without issues, but a thousand times better than she was with us. There's still this part of me that's sad...I wish she could've been this successful in our home. But it seems that Sunny's time with us was part of her journey to the family she needed. For that I am so very thankful.</div>
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I should probably update on Matt and me, too, but I'm out of steam. More another time.</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-11232777688648269142018-01-01T23:57:00.001-05:002018-01-01T23:57:43.263-05:002018: AnticipationI love the start of a new year. In reality, it doesn't mean anything. It's no different than any other day. But it still feels new and fresh. 2017 had so many BIG things...both good and not so good. I'm hoping this year will be a little less...mountainous?<br />
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I've taken many personality tests over the years, mainly for work or continuing education types of things. I'm a Beaver, a Melancholy, ISFJ. I like to plan. I'm organized and logical. I think ahead. I live by checklists and can't function without a good daytimer. I like routine, order, and predictability. These things make New Year's Day a very satisfying day for me because I can sit down, map things out, and make this fresh start with a plan. That said, I hold loosely to my plans because I am most definitely not God, and I actually don't have any real control over my life. But...I like to be in control of those things that I can control...such as the cleanliness of my home, the use of my budget, my son's lesson plans, and scheduling of things such as doctor's appointments, summer vacation, and dates with my husband.<br />
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So...<br />
Here's what I'm anticipating in 2018.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Two big doctor's appointments for me this week: gastro on Wednesday, rheumatology on Thursday. I've been struggling with some big health issues since August, and we've been in the process of ruling things out. Cardiology and neurology gave the all-clear. I'm hoping for a diagnosis this week that will help me know what to do in order to get better.</li>
<li>My hubby turns 43 and Piper turns 12 in January.</li>
<li>Snapper's All-State Choir camp and performance. She was the only kid from our entire school district who made All-State this year and I'm so proud of her!</li>
<li>The 20th anniversary of Matt's and my first date in March and our 17th wedding anniversary in June.</li>
<li>My two best friends selling their houses and moving closer to me!!!</li>
<li>Sweet Pea turns 4 in April. How is that possible?</li>
<li>Snapper's spring musical...we anticipate she'll end up with a great part!</li>
<li>My daddy and step-mom are coming from California to visit us this spring!</li>
<li>Piper will graduate from elementary school.</li>
<li>Snapper is going on a mission trip to Costa Rica this summer.</li>
<li>Our family is going to Seattle for a week for Matt's sister's wedding, and some family time.</li>
<li>Pepper turns 12 in July</li>
<li>My 39th birthday and...wait for it...Snapper's Sweet 16, both in September.</li>
<li>Another school year...three in middle school and a high school junior who will be taking college classes for double credit.</li>
<li>Bubbles turns 14 and my dad turns 70 in October.</li>
<li>Good times with our wonderful friends.</li>
<li>Memories made.</li>
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What are you looking forward to in the coming year?</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-64809079609788178132017-11-13T00:27:00.000-05:002017-11-13T00:40:11.845-05:00Almost A YearI can't believe it has been almost a year since I last posted! SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED.<br />
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I'll do an update, covering major events, and the latest about each kiddo.<br />
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The biggest event of our year was a major change in the structure of our family. Y'all, DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL DURING PREGNANCY! Not one sip. And, DON'T USE DRUGS DURING PREGNANCY. Better not to use either, ever, but especially not during pregnancy. The impact on the child can be staggering and devastating, as is the case for our Sunny, who is now 9 1/2 years old.<br />
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Little Sunny's brain was irreversibly damaged by her mother's substance abuse, and the trauma she experienced during the first three years of her life. She has the inability to process sensory input. This means that living as one of six children--in a large, bright, echo-y house, surrounded by constant noise, motion, and chaos, created too much sensory input for her brain to process. This left her in a constant state of fear, constantly triggered, unable to snap out of flight-or-fight mode. Her m.o. was fight, and fight she did. All day. Every day. At the same time, Sunny craves constant, undivided attention of a mom and a dad. No matter what Matt and I did, it wasn't enough to meet Sunny's needs. We worked for years with counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, attachment specialists, occupational therapists, trauma therapists, etc. You name it, we did it. After five very intense years, Sunny was rapidly declining, and was taking our whole family down with her. We started looking into residential treatment programs as a last resort to help our girl. And then a miracle happened.<br />
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Matt's sister Diana and her husband, Chris, called us and offered to help. They offered to take Sunny for a weekend so the rest of us could have a break. The weekend went well and turned into a week. Sunny came home and instantly fell back into the pattern of rage-destroy-attack. After another week, Diana and Chris called us again. They offered to take Sunny for 6 months to allow the rest of us a longer time to rest and swim to shore. Three months later, Sunny was changing dramatically. Her rages had almost stopped. She was sleeping and eating normally. She had stopped hallucinating. She hadn't tried once to physically harm Diana or Chris. She began to learn at school, stopped getting in trouble at school, and started to smile. Real smiles. The angry little beastie melted away and began to reveal a happy little girl. Four months after Sunny moved in with Diana and Chris, Matt and I signed over guardianship to them. It has now been 9 months and Sunny is not the same person. She has weaned off all her meds but one. She hasn't had a rage in months. Her behavior IEP is no longer necessary...she's making As and Bs and has no behavior issues at school. She hasn't had a rage in months. She is the star of her soccer team and has learned how to be a team player. She has grown 8 inches in 8 months! She has friends. She's relaxed, happy, and affectionate. She has graduated all but one of her therapies. No more screaming, destroying, hurting, threatening, or hallucinations. We no longer fear for her life. The best part...she lives 10 minutes way from us and is still part of our extended family. Piper and Bubbles regularly have play dates and sleepovers at Sunny's house. Their relationship has deepened and grown in a way I never thought would be possible. She has transitioned to calling Diana and Chris Mommy and Daddy. Matt and I have become Uncle Matt and Auntie Emily. When we are all together for family events, she loves to come hug us, snuggle us, and tell us all about what she is doing and learning. She radiates joy and peace.<br />
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Making the decision to let her go was hard because it meant admitting that no matter how hard we tried, we could never give her what she needed. But watching her blossom makes it worth it. All we ever wanted for Sunny, Piper, and Bubbles was for them to be healthy, happy, and loved. For Sunny, it didn't turn out the way we hoped and dreamed it would. But thanks to Diana and Chris, our ultimate desire for her is being fulfilled. I couldn't be more thankful!<br />
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The rest of us have had a harder year. Sunny's many complex issues left the rest of us suffering from various degrees of PTSD. It has been the hardest on Snapper, Pepper, Matt, and me. The other two girls weren't as bothered by Sunny's chaos because they had never known any different. Pepper and I spent extensive time in trauma therapy. He has moved on pretty well, but I continue to be easily triggered. We're all working toward healing, but it isn't a fast process. The relative peace in our home, however, has created many wonderful changes, especially for the kids.<br />
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Sweet Pea is now 3 1/2. She's a vibrant, bubbly, outgoing little girl. She is no longer clingy or afraid during the day. Her favorite place to be is at church, where she knows more people than I do. She is loved by everyone, and everyone knows her. She's smart as a whip. She already knows most of what she'd learn in a K-4 class, even though she's only 3. She is pure joy! At night she struggles with horrible nightmares. Sunny shows up in many of them. Even though Sweet Pea has lost her memory of Sunny living with us, the damage was done. She sleeps in our room for now, and for as long as it takes for her to feel safe as she sleeps.<br />
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Piper is almost 12, which I can't believe. Her school year last year was so disrupted by all the trauma with Sunny that she failed 5th grade. We moved her from the charter school to our district school this year to give her a fresh start. Our amazing principal found the perfect solution for Piper. She is in a small 5/6 combo class where she is able to work at her own level and her own pace. She worked on 5th grade material for the first month of school. With the love and support of her incredible teacher and the resource teacher, Piper rapidly gained confidence. The other three 6th grade girls in the class are all in the same boat, and the four girls quickly bonded. They have the sweetest friendship and are totally inseparable. They've all encouraged each other and have made forward progress together. At Piper's conference last week, I learned that Piper is now working on 6th grade material and is easily passing all of it! She is the happiest and most outgoing she has ever been in school. At home she's making great strides, too. In the last few months she has had a growth spurt: both physical and emotional. She has grown almost 3 inches in 3 months. She is taking care of her bedroom and clothing with excellence. She is noticing when little things need doing around the house, and does them on her own. This week alone she cleaned out the fridge and deep cleaned Sweet Pea's room...all without being asked and without any need of recognition or praise. We're so delighted for our sweet girl! (I'm going to show you a photo because for various reasons, I'm no longer concerned about being found by bio parents).</div>
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Pepper is 11. As awful as Piper's school year was, Pepper's was amazing. He took shelter and comfort from studying, and excelled beyond my wildest imagination for him. He skipped 6th grade and is officially a 7th grader. Homeschooling him allows him the freedom to work at his own pace and to pursue what is of interest to him. He attends our district's homeschool academy two full days per week, where he takes fun classes--such as Robotics, Cooking, Web Design, and Yoga--that supplement what we're doing at home the other three days each week. At home he is taking World History, Earth Science, 8th grade English, and Algebra 1 (he's halfway through). He also does a research project each month. This month he's studying what lead to the fall of Ancient Rome. Last month he studied Greek Mythology and its impact on Ancient Greek Culture. Pepper experienced some extreme hardship this spring. On April 3rd, he had a grand mal seizure during Sunday School. He had two more seizures at the hospital that day. In the next 6 weeks, he went on to have 26 major seizures (that we saw), and likely had several smaller ones at night. He was diagnosed with Epilepsy in May. Since then he has been on medication with decent success. He's had two breakthrough seizures and increased his med dose twice. Right now he's at 7 weeks without a seizure, and is starting to relax back into life. He has been such a trouper through it all, never ceasing to praise and trust God in the midst of it. His trauma therapist was a great stabilizing force as he learned to adjust to life with Epilepsy. He graduated from therapy in August and is blowing us away with his courage and determination.</div>
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Bubbles is newly 13. After a very rough first semester at the charter school (including major sexual harassment that resulted in us filing a report with the district and the state), Bubbles moved to our district school. The new school evaluated her special needs and put in place for her a super-charged IEP that gave her services that I didn't even know were an option for her! With the help of supportive classroom teachers and the faithful work of her resource teacher (3 hours per day), Bubbles--for the first time in her life--passed state testing! She was scared to death to move to junior high in September, but she settled in quickly and easily. She has made some wonderful friends and seems to be making great choices at school. Friday was her last day in special ed math because...drum roll please...she no longer qualifies for math special ed services! She spent the last month going to both resource math and gen ed math, and she had no trouble whatsoever! She currently has a B in regular 7th grade math. This kid has always struggled with math, so this is a huge victory for her. She will always be in resource English. Her dyslexia and dysgraphia make it impossible for her to keep up with a regular class. But she has a great teacher and is making forward progress. This girl is also the boss of P.E. She has a messed up knee that is preventing her from doing sports right now, but she was thrilled to be offered a spot on the girls wrestling team at school, and a starting spot on the football team next fall! Bubbles is struggling right now with some character issues, and it's a hard parenting road. But she's a good kid at heart, and I'm confident she'll emerge on the other side, a stronger and better person.</div>
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Snapper is 15 going on 20. She's a sophomore this year, and is pretty much rocking at life in general. She has outgrown all the issues that used to trouble us when she was younger. She's a beautiful, confident young woman. She's mature, sweet, thoughtful, compassionate, responsible, and full of fun. Snapper loves the Lord passionately and is serious about using her gifts to honor Him. She leads a weekly Bible study at school, and she is encouraged to see the growth in the other girls who are participating. She also sings on the youth worship team at church. Snapper is having a great school year! She's taking World History, Honors English 10, Algebra 2/Trig, Honors Chemistry, Spanish 2, Chamber Choir (advanced choir), and AP Jazz Choir (a zero period class). She's also in theatre after school. She's currently halfway through a great run of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," in which she is playing Hippolyta. She's looking forward to the spring musical, mainly because she is pretty much guaranteed a major part. See, Snapper has been gifted with an INCREDIBLE voice. She's the first chair first soprano, and she just found out she was chosen for All-State Choir! She's humble about her gifts, though, and hasn't let it go to her head at all. Snapper has always struggled to find friends who are willing to accept her out-of-the-box personality. In fact, friends have been few and far between for her. She went all through middle school without having a single real friend. Not the case anymore! The sophomore class at our church is a really unique, amazing group of kids. Snapper fits like a glove! I've never met such an awesome group of high schoolers. They have so much fun together, whatever they do, and they encourage each other. After so many difficult years for Snapper (no friends, the upheaval in our family, and major anxiety and PTSD), it is such a joy to see her thriving. She also has a precious young man in her life whom we currently refer to as her "Bestie." Yes, Bestie is her best friend. But there's a tender sweetness toward each other that I believe will blossom as they both gain a few more years. For now, we're encouraging and supporting their friendship within the protection of his family and ours, and their group of wonderful friends. They are 100% on board with us, and are doing a great job of honoring each other and the moms and dads. Since I don't have a great recent photo of her, I'll give you one of the two of them last week. His jazz band competed at the jazz festival, and her jazz choir competed, too. After it was done, his mom (who is my best friend) and I took them out for ice cream to celebrate.</div>
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As for me, I'm blessed. Despite all the complications of PTSD and some other still undiagnosed health concerns, I'm doing better than I have in years. I've lost much of the stress weight I gained during Sunny's really awful years. I love homeschooling Pepper and spending my days with Sweet Pea. I have the two best friends in the entire world. Our church is strong, supportive, and safe, and I'm growing leaps and bounds in my faith, and in my understanding of God's Word. My life is back to being manageable again. I have enough time and energy to maintain my home, care for my husband and kids, spend plenty of time with my friends, and pursue the things I love to do. My knee surgery in January 100% solved my pain and mobility issues, and I can walk and run without pain for the first time in 10 years. My relationship is super healthy with all my kids but Bubbles (and I know that will heal as we work through the junk she's going through right now). And there has been a drawing back together for Matt and me as we're able to breathe and have time for each other again.</div>
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Blessed. Life isn't easy. In fact, the last few years have been downright hard...even awful. But through it all, I can see how incredibly blessed I am. </div>
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-69623093001665032862017-02-07T00:08:00.000-05:002017-02-07T00:08:26.317-05:002-Year-Old DelightSweet Pea is in the throes of toddlerhood. She's 2 1/2, and full of feisty, spicy, zesty spunk. She gets into mischief every single day.<br />
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Yesterday she didn't get seated right on the potty and made a mess. She spilled a bottle of lavender essential oil trying to cover up the smell. And she dunked a washcloth in the toilet to get it wet so she could clean up the mess. And she sat on our bed when she was done...but she had forgotten to wipe.<br />
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Oh mercy!<br />
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This afternoon I noticed that she was too quiet. I went in to check on her and found her sound asleep in her bed. Naked as a jaybird. When she came out after her nap, I sent her to bring me her clothes. She came back in wearing a nothing but a tiara and Princess Sofia high heels, and carrying a glittery gold purse and a baby doll.<br />
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Too much cuteness!<br />
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Right now she's tearing around the house wearing Sofia the First undies and a big sister's training bra. Someone brushed out her curls this evening and she looks like a dandelion gone to seed. Her whole body is decorated with green marker artwork, and she has black sharpie "lipstick" on her lips. Every minute or so, she'll stop in her tracks, wildly wiggle her hips, throw up her arms and yell, "Waggle Waggle Dab! I dancin' like a rock star!" And then she's off again, giggling like crazy.<br />
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She tears me up! I can hardly stand it!<br />
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At night she climbs into bed with me for our bedtime cuddle ritual.<br />
"'Nuggle me, Momma? Pretty please you 'nuggle me?"<br />
I could send her to her bed because I take evening meds that make me super sleepy and I just want to sleep. But I don't send her away. I pull her close, stroke her face, and feel her melting into me. She strokes my arm with her little fingers and sings me little love songs that she makes up on the spot. They are her own, free, imaginative tunes. They usually speak of what we did that day, how much she loves me, and how 'nuggles are her favorite things. She bats her eyes at me and asks very politely for a "sleepy snack." This is our routine and I am prepared. I produce the string cheese that I had waiting on my nightstand. She eats her cheese, sharing nibbles with me. I hold her for a few minutes more. Then she rolls over, squeezes me tight, kisses each cheek, my forehead, and my lips. I kiss her back. We whisper "I love you forever" and she climbs into her own bed in the corner of my room.<br />
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So much love. So much joy. So much delight!<br />
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Is she a stinker? Heck yes! But oh, my heart! How I love my little Sweet Pea!<br />
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-18221177687384997172017-02-04T23:09:00.000-05:002017-02-04T23:09:03.764-05:00Unearthing TreasureSometimes I feel like raising a child is like unearthing buried treasure. It's such a long process to watch your child grow and develop, and there's not much in parenting that's more fun than when you child discovers his/her talents, gifts, and passions.<br />
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Snapper tried a lot of different things over the years. She did Scottish Country Folk Dance, ballet, swim team, karate, musical theater, volleyball, choir, and piano. She stunk at dance, was fair at volleyball, and has been outstanding at everything else. Now she's a freshman in high school, and is honing in on what she loves.<br />
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Snapper loves performing.<br />
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In 4th and 5th grade she sang in her school chorus. She lit up the stage with her animated face and whole-hearted singing.<br />
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In 6th grade she totally wowed us by winning her school's public speaking competition, and then going on to take 2nd place out of all the 6th graders in the entire county!<br />
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In 7th grade she recited Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" and got top honors. She also landed--and totally owned--the part of Sally Brown in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown."<br />
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In 8th grade she sang in chorus again and sang a solo in a Christmas special. She also was in "Annie Get Your Gun" at school. In April she sang in the state vocal festival and earned a Superior for her solo.<br />
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This year she started piano lessons. She is singing in concert choir at the high school and was a soloist in the fall concert. She recited a poem in the mandatory school-wide poetry recitation competition, won for her class, and earned a spot in the final. She went up against the other 19 finalists (five from each grade) and took third place in the high school! That achievement earned her an invitation to join the JV Debate team in the fall, and an invitation to audition for the spring play. She auditioned and landed one of the female leads. With the encouragement of her choir director, Snapper entered in a vocal competition.<br />
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The competition was today. Snapper is only 14 years old, and she has some pretty amazing pipes. She did a great job on her song, "Songs My Mother Taught Me" by Dvorak. The judge started to give her critique, and then she changed her mind. She said, "You have so much potential. I'm going to give you a voice lesson here and now. I want to see what you can do." So she did. She spent seven minutes with Snapper, giving pointers and having her do a few vocal exercises. Then she had her sing part of her song again.<br />
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Y'all, it completely took my breath away. I'll let you watch the video so you can see what I mean. I think today would make it onto my list of Top Proud Mommy Moments.<br />
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The video is a brief clip of Snapper's initial performance, followed by a couple of vocal exercises, followed by a clip of her second try at the song after the little voice lesson. The judge was so pleased! She was beaming and delighted with the change. She never did critique Snapper or tell her what rating she got. She'll get her score sheets back at school on Monday.<br />
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Oh...by the way...she doesn't get her vocal talent from me! LOL!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LgiwUXuv88s" width="480"></iframe>Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-41501640177934431072017-01-03T12:04:00.000-05:002017-01-03T12:04:14.932-05:00New Year, New HabitsI love the start of a new year. I know it isn't really any different than any other day, but symbolically it is. The first few weeks of the year always feel so fresh to me, and I've found it to be the best time for me to make any changes that I need to make. I don't do New Year's Resolutions, but I do evaluate myself and work on establishing new habits. On the list for this year:<br />
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1. Tighten up the boundaries in our home. If there's one thing I've become more and more aware of on this mothering journey, it's that kids feel safer and function better if they live within the healthy limits of secure boundaries. Honestly, I find that I am more secure within healthy boundaries, too.<br />
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So what do those tighter boundaries look like?<br />
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<b>Holding to Routines</b><br />
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I have morning routine charts posted in the kitchen and in the kids' bathrooms. The charts are very simple...a picture and a few words for each task. The kids must do their tasks in order. I'm back to being firm about these routines.<br />
1. Up and dressed<br />
2. Make bed<br />
3. Hair and deodorant<br />
4. Care for animals<br />
5. Breakfast<br />
6. Brush teeth<br />
7. Clean up your trail (in other words, do a quick pass through the house and put away your stuff)<br />
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After school routine<br />
1. Shoes put away<br />
2. Bring mom your school folder<br />
3. Clean and put away lunchbox<br />
4. Snack<br />
<i>If it is your laundry day, start your load</i><br />
5. Throw away trash<br />
6. Homework<br />
<i>Cleaning chore (MWF only)</i><br />
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Evening routine<br />
1. Care for animals<br />
2. Dinner<br />
3. Kitchen chore<br />
4. Tidy your room<br />
5. Shower and brush teeth<br />
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On weekends we have a routine, too. After the regular morning routine is done, the kids each do their cleaning chore. All week long I collect items that have been left out and put them in a box. The kids must do extra cleaning chores to redeem their boxed items. One chore gets three items out of the box. One Saturday per month we go out and do a barn and coop cleaning. After that, everyone is free to play.<br />
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Sticking like glue to these routines makes more successful kids. And less stressed Momma. Having the routines posted makes it easier, too, because when I see someone out of line, I just send them to look at the chart. No nagging.<br />
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<b>Healthy Eating</b><br />
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We always are pretty healthy eaters, but we tend to get sloppy over the Christmas season. January is always a great time to get things cleaned up and back onto a healthy track. For us, this means severl things.<br />
1. I am back to gluten free for me. I'm gluten intolerant, and my doctor suspects I have celiac disease. I opted to forego testing and just assume I have celiac. I was gluten free for three years and it transformed my health. When I was pregnant with Sweet Pea, all I could keep down was dry sourdough toast. My intent was to go back to gluten free eating after Sweet Pea was born, but I never did. Today is Day 3 of no gluten, and I already notice a difference in my skin. Awesome sauce!<br />
2. For the rest of the family, it's back to only one sweet per day. Maybe it's a piece of candy after school, or syrup on pancakes with breakfast, or a soda if we go out.<br />
3. It's also increasing our veggie load at dinner. It's so easy to boost the veggies, often by doing something as simple as adding grated carrots or zucchini to a meatloaf, putting pureed spinach in spaghetti sauce, or requiring three extra bites of broccoli. If a kid eats three extra bites of veggies at every dinner, that's 21 bites more of veggies per week!<br />
4. For me, it's getting off my lazy butt and fixing a better snack for the kids after school rather than stocking a basket with Cheez-It pouches. It's very easy to spread peanut butter on five pieces of whole grain toast, or to throw yogurt, banana, and frozen strawberries into the blender.<br />
5. Consistent meal planning is key. I'm always good at this, and I'm right back to it after two weeks of flying by the seat of my pants. Having a crock pot and an Instant Pot help tremendously in following through with cooking at home.<br />
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<b>Cutting Back on Electronics</b><br />
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We're not an electronic-friendly home. We have a TV (Netflix only, no cable), a Blu-Ray player, computers, Kindles, and a Wii. But I like for those things to be turned on as infrequently as possible. Here are our electronics rules, back to being enforced after a month of laziness.<br />
1. No TV on school days<br />
2. Paper homework done before electronic homework can be started<br />
3. Weekend Wii time must be earned by reading during the week. For 4th grade and up, they earn 30 minutes of Wii for every hour they read. For the younger kids, it's 30 minutes of Wii for every 30 minutes they read.<br />
4. Computers are for schoolwork only.<br />
5. Kindles may be used only after routines are completed and inspected.<br />
6. All Kindles and computers must be plugged into the charging station in the office at 8:00. The only exception is for Snapper, who is in high school, and often needs to be online later.<br />
7. On weekends, no TV or Wii until weekend chores are completed, and not before 3:00 p.m.<br />
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Mommy and Daddy have new rules, too.<br />
1. No social media until the kids are at school.<br />
2. Electronics are shut down during homework time.<br />
3. No phones at the table or in bed.<br />
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What are some of your New Year habits or hacks that work for your family? Please comment! I love to learn from others.Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-55006129723458225322016-12-31T18:06:00.001-05:002016-12-31T18:06:10.147-05:002016 Top Ten2016 was one of the most turbulent years of my life. On New Year's Eve last year, Matt and I made the announcement to our closest friends that we were moving from Florida to the Pacific Northwest. Our friends understood our decision, but that didn't make the reality of it any easier.<br />
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There was much pain involved for our whole family as our poor little Sunny experienced the fallout of her birthmom's prenatal substance abuse, and spent nearly a month in the hospital trying to get stable and healthy. The degree of issues that require hospitalization for a young child have a ripple effect throughout the rest of the family. I won't elaborate, but you can imagine.<br />
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We had physical pain as well. Two kids with broken wrists. One kid with a dozen stitches. Hubby with a broken rib and a broken toe. Me with a foot injury, torn rotator cuff, chronic fungal ear infections, and having knee surgery next week. None of these were big things, and we're thankful for that.<br />
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Of course, there's the pain of big transitions, too. New state, new climate, new culture, new friends, new church, new doctors, new schools, new house...you name it, we experienced it. As great as these things are, asking six kiddos to go through all these transitions at once does produce pain.<br />
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A very turbulent year.<br />
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HOWEVER...<br />
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2016 was also a year of amazing healing, a year that leaves us full of hope going into 2017. There are so many amazing things that happened this year! I'll give you my Top 10, and some favorite photos of the year.<br />
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10. Our new home. A large ranch style home on five acres in the country. This home gives our special needs kids all the space they need to feel safe and secure. This home is SUCH a blessing!<br />
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9. Farm living. We bought dairy goats and chickens very quickly after our move. We also planted a garden. We arrived at our new home just as our cherry tree was coming ripe, and enjoyed the fun of harvesting the cherries. The kids are thriving on the farm lifestyle, and so are Matt and I!</div>
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8. Visits with special people. My sis and her family visited in July. My two BFFs, Karon and Noel, visited in September (not together, though). My birthmom came from Arizona to spend Christmas with us. My friend Johanna came in September, too. We're looking forward to visits from our Florida adopted grandparents, my dad and step-mom, dear friends from Florida, and the kids' gymnastics coach from Florida this year.</div>
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7. Schools. Sunny's school has been amazing. They wrote us a loaded IEP and have been wonderful about communicating with me and working with Sunny. Snapper's high school is also amazing. She's the happiest she has ever been, and is excelling at school. Bubbles and Piper are going to a school that has wonderful teachers and staff. I'm not a fan of the other students, but the girls' academic special needs are being met. I'm homeschooling Pepper, due to the anxiety associated with his autism. It is going GREAT, and I have the wonderful support of an alternative school in town. </div>
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6. Medical professionals. One of the reasons we moved up here was because Florida's mental health care is HORRIBLE. The mental health care here is superb. Since we moved here, Sunny has gotten established with an outstanding child psychiatrist, a therapist who specializes in trauma and adoption needs, a pediatrician who specializes in neurology and behavioral health, and occupational therapy. She has also had the privilege of participating in a very intensive partial inpatient program for kids with her kind of needs. Now we're working with an amazing wraparound team who comes in an offers us a huge amount of support. Having all these people has made ALL the difference for our family! Correct diagnoses have made a huge difference, too. </div>
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5. Church. We have placed membership at a local church where God's Word is taught in depth and without apology, where our kids are learning and growing, and where the amazing people have reached out and surrounded our family with love and support.</div>
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4. Opportunities. There are so many opportunities available to our family here! Snapper is on student council at school. She ran for (and almost won...the principal said it was a very close election) class president. Snapper played on the frosh volleyball team. She's a soloist in the women's chorus. She has been asked to TA for the special needs P.E. class next semester, and has been invited to be on the varsity debate team next year. She's representing the freshman class in the school poetry recitation contest in January. And she's taking piano lessons! Bubbles took tumbling and trampoline classes for a few months, but decided she didn't want to continue. In January, she's joining my other kids who are doing equestrian vaulting. She also had the opportunity this year to try clarinet. She hates it and won't be continuing, but at least she got to try! Piper, Pepper, and Sunny are all doing equestrian vaulting. That's gymnastics on horseback if you didn't already know that. They practice five hours per week, and can't get enough of it! Piper also got to try clarinet, and like Bubbles, she hated it. But at least she got to try!</div>
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<i>Sunny does full splits at vaulting practice</i></div>
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<i>Arabesque for Piper</i></div>
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<i>Pepper has mastered the reverse shoulder stand into rollout</i></div>
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<i>First piano lesson for Snapper</i></div>
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3. Friends. When we decided to move, I started praying for the friends God would bring my way. Well, He definitely took care of that request and has met that need abundantly! Each of my kiddos--except for Sunny--has developed a special friend here. My hubby has a couple of wonderful friends. And I have two AMAZING besties. Gosh, I love these ladies!</div>
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2. Family. We moved away from family when I was pregnant with Pepper. Since 2006, we've been on our own. We have wonderful friends who are close like family. But in times of great need, being close to family is the best thing in the world. It has been pure joy to be back with Matt's family. Cousin birthday parties, playdates, and sleepovers are the best! My MIL regularly takes a kid or two for a sleepover. And she's almost always available to take Sunny when things get intense and we all need a break. I am so thankful to be back!</div>
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<i>Snapper (firstborn grandkid) holding Ryder (21st grandkid) on Christmas Eve</i></div>
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<i>Sweet Pea (#19 grandkid) with four cousins (l-r #11, #4, #8, and #17)</i></div>
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1. Healing. Last year at this time, our family was a wreck. </div>
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Matt was miserable in his job, disconnected at home, and exhausted all the time from trying to help parent some extremely challenging kids. Now he's peaceful, content at work, and actively engaging with the kids and with me.</div>
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Snapper was a mess last year. Her grades were below As, for the first time in her life. She had no friends, was the target of bullying, and her OCD was raging out of control. This year she's a happy, healthy high schooler, thriving in all areas of her life.</div>
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Bubbles was very volatile last year, constantly on edge from having the room right next to Sunny's room. She wasn't sleeping well, was lacking in confidence, and was constantly stressed. Piper was the same, and was having regular seizures triggered by the stress. This year both girls have good friends, are sleeping great, and are much less stressed. I still don't want to post direct photos of their faces. Sigh.</div>
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Pepper's anxiety was through the roof last year. Getting a proper diagnosis for him this year, plus homeschooling him, having him in the right therapies, and getting him in a safer environment has transformed his life. He's happy, relaxed, and excelling in schoolwork and vaulting.</div>
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Sunny was the biggest mess of all. I've already written about most of her stuff. But I haven't written about her healing! Last week, Sunny decided she was tired of fighting God and tired of trying to destroy out family. Yes, those were her exact words, without me ever having said anything like that. She gave her heart to Jesus and decided she's ready to be a member of our family. Her issues are all still there, but for the last 10 days, Sunny has made massive effort to change the way she treats us. She's a different kid, and now I feel like the healing can really begin! Praise God!</div>
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Little Sweet Pea was too young to be majorly stressed by the events in our home last year. But she was having nightmares, and often woke in the night. Not anymore! She's the sweetest, happiest, most bubbly little love bug imaginable! We all just adore her.<br />
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And then you have me. Last year I was beyond a wreck. I was in therapy for my PTSD because I was having regular panic attacks and unable to function much of the time. All I could think about was seeking help. It took every ounce of my energy to get just the basics of life done. No time for other things. This year I'm healthy. My anxiety is managed. I have good friends. I sleep well. I'm coaching vaulting and it is the best therapy ever.</div>
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Y'all, I am so thankful. Thankful for the move. Thankful for the ways God has provided. Thankful for the healing that is taking place. Here's a toast to all God has done, and to what He'll do in 2017.</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-28468606640423757132016-12-24T15:10:00.001-05:002016-12-24T15:10:11.463-05:00Christmas Eve in the Pacific NorthwestSunny's treatment plan is working. Proper meds, excellent therapy, a unified team of professionals working toward the same goal. We might have our first peaceful Christmas in six years!<br />
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I woke up this morning--early--to six inches of fresh snow. So much for the forecast of 1-2 inches! Since then, four more inches have fallen. It is spectacular! Here's a photo taken from my front door.<br />
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Today I'm baking with the kids. Snapper is making sugar free cookies for Sunny. I'm making Peppermint Snowballs, Cutout Sugar Cookies, Gingerbread Men, and Salted Caramels. </div>
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Tonight we'll be with my hubby's family. It is the first time in 11 years we've been with family on Christmas, and the first time ever (for me) with my hubby's family. </div>
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It is good. God is good! Merry Christmas, friends.</div>
<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-46258958605098018702016-11-24T17:04:00.000-05:002016-11-24T17:04:08.706-05:00This ThanksgivingLast Thanksgiving I was sitting around the Thanksgiving table at my friend Tracie's house in the Deep South. It was raining and 85 degrees. In between bursts of thunderstorm, my kids went swimming with Tracie's kids. We ate southern favorites along with Thanksgiving traditionals. We called out extended family to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. We did not know that we were heading into a month filled to the brim with difficulty.<br />
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In early December, Sunny began to spiral into the depths of her mental illness. We quickly realized that in order for us to continue parenting her, we needed to take some drastic measures to protect our family and get more help. The day after Christmas, we made the hard, hard decision to move back to the Pacific Northwest in order to be close to the love and support of family.<br />
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Y'all, it has been a HARD year.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Psych hospital stay for Sunny in April</li>
<li>CPS investigation of our family in May due to false allegations made by Sunny</li>
<li>Our house on the market for 2 1/2 months</li>
<li>Purging/packing for a cross country move</li>
<li>Changing churches</li>
<li>Saying goodbye to many dear friends</li>
<li>Moving nearly 3000 miles with 6 kids, 3 dogs, and 2 cats</li>
<li>Adjusting our family to new home, state, climate, culture</li>
<li>New schools</li>
<li>Career change for Matt</li>
<li>Pepper diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder</li>
<li>Snapper, Pepper, and Piper diagnosed with PTSD</li>
<li>Psych hospital stay for Sunny in October</li>
<li>Car accident for me (I hit a deer) in November, resulting in a torn rotator cuff and soft tissue damage to my neck and upper back</li>
<li>My brother incarcerated</li>
<li>Impending surgery to remove and biopsy a large cyst in my knee</li>
<li>A crapper of an election</li>
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In the midst of the difficulties, God showed Himself--as always--to be faithful. This Thanksgiving Day I have SO MUCH for which to be thankful!</div>
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<li>Friends who remain dear and true across the miles</li>
<li>An outstanding team of professionals who are devoted to my special needs children and who are fighting to make sure their needs are met</li>
<li>The joy of living within 10 miles of almost all of my hubby's family</li>
<li>Unfailing love and support from my mother-in-law</li>
<li>A beautiful home, almost too good to be true</li>
<li>My kids getting to grow up on a farm</li>
<li>WONDERFUL new friends</li>
<li>A new church home that is probably the best church we've ever been in</li>
<li>My hubby's new job that he loves and is excelling in</li>
<li>Great medical and car insurance</li>
<li>Homeschooling Pepper and loving it</li>
<li>Amazing teachers and schools for the other kids</li>
<li>Sweet Pea growing and developing so beautifully! (Can you believe she's 2 1/2?)</li>
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And so much more.</div>
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Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-9625053850020065302016-10-28T13:08:00.000-04:002016-10-28T13:08:19.237-04:00Thoughts on MotheringYesterday I posted about my littlest child, Sweet Pea. Today I need to post about my firstborn, Snapper. When I started this blog nine years ago, she was 5 years old, in between kindergarten and 1st grade. Now she has grown into a lovely young lady, 14 years old, and taking high school by storm. Last night was her first high school choir concert, and as I watched her completely slay her solo, I was flooded with so much emotion. The years slip by so quickly, and each stage is special and challenging. I thought it would be fun to look back at Snapper's growing up and to document my favorite thing about each stage of her life.<br />
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<b>Babyhood</b><br />
I love babyhood. I love baby noises, the smell of a freshly washed baby head, how a baby snuggles in perfectly under my chin. I love the first milestones. The smiles. A baby's laugh. Middle-of-the-night nursing. Tiny fingers and toes. Adorable baby clothes. I LOVE babyhood.<br />
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<b>Toddler (ages walking-3)</b></div>
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My Sweet Pea is in the midst of this stage now. I love the emergence of language, the cute word pronunciations, and how they want me to be involved in every detail. They are constantly learning and discovering. I love seeing a little personality starting to emerge. I love leaving behind the diaper bag, a front-facing car seat, and the comfortable routine we fall into.</div>
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<b>Preschool (ages 3-4)</b></div>
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This has been my least favorite stage, mainly because it can be frustrating to deal with their desire for independence and really strong wills. I love the FUNNY stuff they say at this age. I love the growing awareness of other people, the early emergence of school readiness, and the jokes they make up.</div>
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<b>Early Primary (Kindergarten-1st grade)</b></div>
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This age is fun! I love watching the waking up of little brains as they learn to read, figure out numbers, and start writing. I love watching friendships develop. I love the introduction to sports that often comes at this age. And I love the further emergence of personality, and the imagination that bubbles up.</div>
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<b>Middle Primary (2nd & 3rd grade)</b></div>
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For my kids, this has been the best stage for imagination and pretending. I love how they get completely immersed in their make-believe games. I love the creativity in their artwork. I love the emerging sense of humor. I love the closeness of friendships. I love the development of physical coordination.</div>
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<b>Upper Primary (4th & 5th grade)</b></div>
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I have really loved this stage for all my kids. I love the fullness of their sense of humor. I love that they are really growing in independence, especially when it comes to chores and schoolwork. I love seeing them starting to really excel at certain things...music, sports, art. I love that they can engage in good conversations, and can be really fun to spend time with.</div>
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<b>Middle School (6th-8th grade)</b></div>
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So many people dread this stage. I have found it to be mostly wonderful. Of course there are the surges in hormones, the mood swings, and the struggles with friends. But there's so much wonderful that outweighs those things! I LOVE getting to talk about deeper issues. I love the developing logic. I love later bedtimes. I love them being tall enough for roller coasters, and old enough for some good movies. I love watching them trying new things and developing the skills they already love. I love watching the massive physical changes that come with this stage. They grow and change SO MUCH. These two photos mark the changes in Snapper from the first day of 6th grade to the last day of 8th grade.</div>
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<b>High School</b></div>
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And now we come to the stage where we are with Snapper. Apart from babyhood, this has to be my favorite stage yet. I LOVE late night heart-to-heart conversations with my girl, talking about school, friends, boys, spiritual things, politics, and other deep stuff. I love how hard she works in school. I love watching her determination that high school will be the best part of her life yet. I love the refining of passions, which for Snapper are volleyball, singing, and inspiring her peers to look for the best in others. Snapper is such a delight, and it is such a pleasure to be her mom.</div>
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This has been a big week for my girl. So many firsts!</div>
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She has a boy who is head-over-heels crazy about her, for the first time in her life. He follows her everywhere, carries her books, compliments her, and looks for every possible way to help and serve her. Matt and I are trying to process this and figure out what to do with it. After all, she's still just 14. </div>
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She had her first high school choir concert last night, and she was a soloist. She nailed it, fully confident, no nerves.</div>
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Today is the election for Freshman Class President, and she's running. I think she has a shot at winning, and if she does, she'll do a great job.</div>
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But man...it's going so fast! You blink and it's gone.</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-48495065564636720152016-10-27T11:20:00.002-04:002016-10-27T11:20:33.075-04:00Little Kids Are FUNNY!There is nothing better than the wonder and the joy of watching a baby grow into a child, learning and discovering the world around them. It's especially fun when they start talking. It's SO FUNNY!<br />
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My little Sweet Pea is 2 1/2 now, and talking a blue streak. She still talks gibberish sometimes, but more often she uses complete sentences.<br />
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Last night I was snuggling with her. She rolled over, kissed me cheek and said, clear as a bell, "Mommy, I am so sleepy. want to get in my bed now."<br />
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Yesterday at Bubbles' 12-year-old well visit, Sweet Pea kept demanding to be examined, too. "Doctor! Yook at me, too! Check my tummy! See my ears! Yook at me too, Doctor."<br />
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Every morning she wants to go to church. She always asks, without fail, "Turch today, Mommy? 'Nack-friends-toys-Jesus Loves Me?"<br />
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The other days she was sitting in a chair and I pretended I was going to sit in her lap. "Oh no, Mommy! You can no sit on Sweet Pea! Your bottom is TOO BIG!"<br />
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<i>Explosive laughter from Mommy!!!!!</i><br />
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I love the way she says some of her words.<br />
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Pillow: Pee-yoe<br />
Yellow: Yay-yoe<br />
Jammies: Majjies<br />
Blueberries (and grapes, strawberries, or raspberries): Goo-bays<br />
Chickens: Tick-nens<br />
Snack: Naaack<br />
Snuggle: Nuggle me<br />
Toot: Boof<br />
Boots: Boops<br />
Potty: Paw-yee<br />
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She is the sweetest, easiest, sunniest little person ever, and I'm so lucky to have her!<br />
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-14720526414414418572016-10-24T22:10:00.002-04:002016-10-24T22:10:25.215-04:00The Dregs SoupThis has been a challenging month. A very challenging month. I had one child in the hospital for two weeks, began homeschooling another child, had to do some traveling, had yet another child break her arm, as well as all the regular stuff of being mom to a large family. Our wonderful church family provided dinners for 10 days. Now everyone is home, regaining health, and settling back into routine. Today I took a couple of kids to therapy and doctor's appointments. I got Pepper's weekly lesson plan done. I ran a few loads of laundry. I made a meal plan and shopping list. I helped kids with homework. And I realized that the fridge is almost empty and the pantry is full of random stuff from meals I never made and lost the meal plan for. What to make for dinner? I went scrounging around, threw some stuff together, and came up with a fabulous soup that my entire family--including my picky eaters--loved and devoured. I'm still so surprised!<br />
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Here's the recipe...partly for you, but mostly for me because I don't want to forget how I made it.<br />
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The Dregs Soup<br />
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In a large saucepan, heat 1 Tbsp. olive oil. Saute one diced onion, three cloves minced garlic, and two stalks of chopped celery until tender, about 5 minutes.<br />
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Add: 1 large can crushed tomatoes, four cans chicken broth, and 1 Tbsp. each dried basil, oregano, and marjoram, 1 tsp. salt, and 1/4 tsp. white pepper. Bring to a boil.<br />
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Add: 1/2 cup each dried lentils and 1/2 cup dried split peas.<br />
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Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes.<br />
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Add: 2 cups chopped cabbage and 2 sliced carrots.<br />
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Simmer for 15 minutes more.<br />
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Add: 1/2 package cheese tortellini (from the deli case at the store) and simmer 10 minutes.<br />
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Garnish with grated parmesan cheese and French bread.<br />
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YUMMY!Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-11028483398048458452016-09-18T01:01:00.000-04:002016-09-18T01:01:32.718-04:00Celebrating FallA few weeks ago, I walked outside in the morning to turn on the sprinkler in my garden, and to my surprise, the air smelled different. I can't put my finger on it, exactly. Maybe it was a hint of crispness in the air. Maybe it was that the recently mowed wheat fields were giving off a slightly grassy, dusty scent. Whatever the case, it was faint, but I could just barely smell it: Fall! Once I realized what I was smelling, I stood there in the damp grass, breathing in as deeply as I could while everything inside me wanted to jump up and down and yell for joy!<br />
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Fall has always been my favorite season. My mom loved fall and made no secret of it. My childhood memories of fall are filled with apple picking, beef stew, a Saturday morning spent hauling and stacking a winter's worth of firewood, watching football on TV, baking apple pie for my dad's October birthday, and the spicy scent of wet fallen leaves after the rain. Those memories make me feel all cozy and comfortable inside, so I have always welcomed fall with wide open arms.<br />
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Then came 2010-2015. Six falls spent feeling miserable in flip flops, air conditioner running, and kids swimming after school. Six falls of humidity, love bugs (if you don't know what they are, look them up), and watching for hurricanes. Six falls of leaving most of my decorations in boxes because it feels ridiculous to hang orange leaf garlands everywhere when the only color on the trees outside is green. Because Florida. Six Florida falls, which are the ultimate insult to an autumn lover like me.<br />
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So naturally, that hint of crisp air at the end of August set the joy bells pealing madly in my heart! That was three weeks ago. Today, fall is in full swing here in the Pacific Northwest. My Red Delicious apple tree is loaded to the point of breaking. The north facing sides of trees are turning yellow. At night I'm opening my bedroom window and throwing an extra quilt on my bed, because there's nothing better for sleep than a warm bed with delicious, cold air to breathe! Most evenings, we enjoy a fire in the fireplace...not because we need the warmth, but because it just feels right. I'm experimenting with all different kinds of soups in my Instant Pot. I wear jeans and hoodies morning and evening, but am comfortable in jeans and t-shirt during the day. I LOVE IT!<br />
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So what do we do to celebrate my most favorite season? That's easy! There's so much to do!<br />
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<br />
<ul>
<li>Go for a hike in a state or county park. The weather is perfect and the scenery is breathtaking!</li>
<li>Visit one of the fall festivals at the little farm town to our north, where they have hayrides, a corn maze, and homemade pumpkin donuts.</li>
<li>Go apple picking (yummy snacking apples, not like our Red Delicious apples at home)</li>
<li>Make applesauce out of our Red Delicious apples from home</li>
<li>Burn cinnamon candles</li>
<li>Put up some favorite fall decor and buy a few new pieces</li>
<li>Plant a few pots of mums in pots on the front porch</li>
<li>Gather pinecones to put in glass bowls around the house</li>
<li>Cook soup and homemade bread!</li>
<li>Take photos of the kids in all of nature's glory</li>
<li>Buy a new fuzzy hoodie</li>
<li>Collect colorful leaves</li>
<li>Go to a pumpkin patch and get pumpkins</li>
<li>Go to a local farm that lets you press your own apple cider</li>
<li>Read by the fire at night</li>
<li>Make an apple pie and eat it to celebrate my dad's October birthday</li>
<li>Throw the football around with the kids</li>
<li>Go to a high school football game</li>
<li>Start planning Halloween costumes</li>
<li>Start thinking about this year's Christmas crafts</li>
<li>SAVOR EVERY MOMENT!</li>
<li>Be thankful that I no longer live in the land of 90 degrees in October.</li>
</ul>
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Happy Fall!</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-53248540570939790622016-09-16T20:55:00.004-04:002016-09-16T20:55:26.326-04:00Unexpected in SeptemberLast week I went into a meeting with Pepper's school counselor. We were going to discuss his 504 plan, which provides accommodations for his ADHD and for his giftedness. My little guy has been struggling with some pretty intense anxiety the last few months, too, we were going to add some other accommodations as well.<br />
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And then came the words I never expected to hear: <i>Pepper has a really unique combinations of quirks and struggles. Have you talked to his doctor about a, b, and c?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
A: Pepper is unable to engage in meaningful conversation with his peers unless it is about a topic he is well-versed in. In other words, Pepper lacks some very fundamental social skills, the main being the ability to understand the give and take of normal conversation. This means he has incredible difficulty making friends.<br />
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B: Pepper seems unable to integrate the sensory information from his environment. He has to wear noise-canceling headphones in order to work in class. He has to chew on a sensory necklace in order to keep from eating his school supplies. He has to sit on a yoga ball in class to keep from falling out of his chair repeatedly during the day. He has very strong food aversions...all texture related. He also has an extremely low pain threshold. He is easily overwhelmed by all of this and melts down frequently.<br />
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C: Pepper has a brilliant mind. He has a photographic memory, a vocabulary that surpasses mine (not exaggerating), and incredible mathematical skills. He is also a speed reader.<br />
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As the counselor pointed our A, B, and C, everything just kind of came into focus. All of a sudden, I looked at Pepper and was able to see what the counselor couldn't say.<br />
<br />
Autism.<br />
<br />
After a phone call to Pepper's old pediatrician (who was his doctor from when Pepper was 3 until our move in June), I scheduled an appointment with Pepper's new pediatrician. I filled out some paperwork. The doctor talked extensively with Pepper and with me. And we concurred. Pepper is on the autism spectrum.<br />
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As I look back at his life, I'm able to see it, and I can't believe I missed it. The signs have been there since he was a toddler. But somehow I missed it.<br />
<br />
Pepper has been a hot mess at school. He's anxious all the time. He's frustrated all the time. He's in the clinic and the counselor's office every day. He's performing poorly on schoolwork, which is NOT normal for him. He has had physical anxiety symptoms like crazy, too. Matt and I talked briefly and prayed briefly. The answer was very obvious: time to homeschool Pepper.<br />
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Today I withdrew him from school and ordered a bunch of curriculum. I assured the school it has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the needs of my son. He's going to be getting occupational therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy to help him with the symptoms of his autism and anxiety. Not having to pull him out of the classroom for therapy will be greatly to his advantage. And because Pepper is so brilliant, I'm going to be able to provide him with learning opportunities that will match his love of learning and his high intelligence.<br />
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On one hand, I'm sad because autism is kind of a big deal, and not what I was expecting. On one hand I'm glad, because now I understand him better and can meet his needs better. And if I had three hands, I'd also add that I'm excited because he's going to thrive as a homeschooler.<br />
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Processing.Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-78937673910996301162016-08-13T22:31:00.001-04:002016-08-13T22:45:31.912-04:00Kid Updates: Snapper and BubblesI haven't done any updates on the kids in a while. I'm snuggled up on the couch awaiting the next wave of misery from the stomach bug that is making its way through out home. Now is as good a time as any.<br />
<br />
Snapper will be turning 14 next month and is just a few weeks away from starting <i>high school</i>. High school, y'all! When I started this blog, she was in kindergarten. Kids grow up so stinking fast. On one hand, I'm sad because the years are ticking by way too fast. On the other hand, I'm delighted because Snapper is a really remarkable young lady, and I am thoroughly enjoying this stage of her life.<br />
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Snapper is in the middle of her big growth spurt right now. She was a tiny kid for so many years, but has made up for lost time. She's 5'5" and gaining on me every day. I'm hoping she continues to grow for a while yet, because she needs some height to balance out her size 12 feet. Not joking...she has HUGE feet! Snapper is my very capable right hand around the house. My goal for all of my kids is that by the time they start high school, they will be capable of running the house by themselves. Snapper is fully capable of that. She can do every cleaning task thoroughly and with excellence, including the laundry. She can cook pretty much anything you give her a recipe for. She manages the milking and care of our three goats, and takes care of cleaning the milk for our family. She can make goat cheese, any kind of jam, and this summer I taught her how to can fruit. She maintains our acre of lawn and contributes significantly in the care of our garden. She also babysits with excellence. She is capable and strong.<br />
<br />
Snapper will be carrying a full course load in school this fall, taking every honors class that is available to freshmen. She's also auditioning for Jazz Ensemble (vocal) and will be playing volleyball. In her spare time, Snapper loves singing, reading, reading, and reading. She loves to draw anime and is working on her own graphic novel. She loves hanging out with her best friend, whom I'll call Davey. Davey is like Snapper in so many ways, and the two girls have a blast together. Snapper loves spending time with our chickens and goats. She lives and breathes volleyball, and has been running a couple of miles per day to build up her endurance for the volleyball season. She's also chomping at the bit to get involved with the youth group at our new church.<br />
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Snapper's personality remains pretty much the same. She is SUPER outgoing and friendly, and doesn't generally care what other people think of her. She stands out in a crowd of kids as the one who is going the opposite direction as everyone else. While her peers don't often know what to make of her, the adults in her life adore her because she is bright, engaging, unique, and is one of the deepest thinkers I've ever met. Snapper is cheerful, selfless, and compassionate. She is the one who will notice the person that no one else sees. She's a champion for the underdog, the awkward, the disabled, and the other marginalized people around her. She still struggles with anxiety, OCD and ADHD, which manifest themselves in scatterbrained-ness, forgetfulness, and quirkiness. But she is doing really well with developing coping skills, and I am confident she will come out on top.<br />
<br />
Snapper had long wanted to be a chiropractor, but recently she shifted gears and is leaning toward pursuing a degree in special education. She has an amazing gift for connecting with kids who have special needs. Maybe this comes from having sisters with special needs. I think it is a gift from God. She will be a great advocate for kiddos who need extra support and understanding.<br />
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I adore my oldest girl, and and loving watching her blossom into such an amazing person.<br />
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Bubbles is quickly closing in on 12 years old, and she is about to start 6th grade. I am so glad that our new school district has 6th grade as part of elementary school! Bubbles missed out on so much time getting to be a kid, that this extra year will be a great benefit for her. Like Snapper, Bubbles is growing like a weed. She is 5'1" and wears a size 9 shoe. The school clothes I just bought for her were the last time I will shop in the children's department for her. Next time we buy clothes, she'll graduate to juniors. </div>
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Bubbles was 7 years old when I became her mommy, and other than the year of training she received from her wonderful foster family, she had no clue about how to live a healthy lifestyle. Hygiene, housework, nutrition, and the most basic of relational skills were totally foreign to her. Because being in foster care--regardless of how wonderful the foster family--puts any child in a state of high alert, they often have difficulty learning. It took a good year after we finalized our adoption for Bubbles to be able to relax and feel safe and secure. It was another year before Bubbles really began to blossom. Now she's making up for lost time. She's nowhere near being able to manage the tasks of a home. She has mastered loading the dishwasher, caring for the cats, and cleaning a bathroom. She can cook macaroni & cheese and brownies without assistance. She takes excellent care of Sweet Pea, and at this time next year, I think she'll be ready to do babysitter certification.</div>
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Bubbles really struggles in school. Prenatal substance exposure caused brain damage that profoundly affects her learning. However, Bubbles is the hardest worker I've ever met, and her hard work pays off. She has a strong IEP that gives her the accommodations she needs to succeed. When Bubbles receives a passing report card, we celebrate. Her best subject is writing...but only if she is able to dictate into her iPad, because the physical process of writing is so hard for her. But when she can speak her thoughts, she is incredible. Bubbles excels at athletics. In 15 months of taking gymnastics, she progressed to a Level 4. She has decided not to pursue traditional gymnastics anymore, though, because she hates bars and beam. Instead, she is interested in trampoline & tumbling. She also just finished with a horse vaulting camp, and is trying to decide if she wants to do vaulting (gymnastics on horseback) or tramp & tumble. We'd also love for her to try volleyball and softball at school this year. She has a very stocky, muscular build and Daddy and I think she'd be great at softball. In her spare time, Bubbles loves tumbling, doing arts & crafts, and playing with Snapper, Pepper, and Sweet Pea. She also likes to bake (and eat) dessert and to help me when I cook. </div>
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Bubbles' blog name perfectly describes her personality. She is spunky, bubbly, energetic, and outgoing. She is full of fun and is the life of any party (this can also be read as, "she's really loud!"). Bubbles has experienced tremendous adversity in her life--adversity that would destroy most people. She has consciously chosen, over and over again, to work hard to overcome her past. She is the most courageous person I have ever met. She has an incredibly strong sense of justice, and is quick to stand up for what is right. She is wise beyond her years, and is very humble. If Bubbles struggles anywhere, it is with her tendency to be overbearing. Her persistence serves her very well...she just has to learn how to temper it, because misdirected persistence can come across as bullying and harassing. But those moments are so few...we can almost overlook them. She also tends to be lazy (at everything other than school). But we're working on that! You can't survive on a farm for very long if you're lazy!</div>
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Bubbles is not even close to deciding what she wants to be when she grows up. Some days she wants to be a social worker. Other days she wants to be a realtor, a chef, or a athletic coach. I think she'd be great working with kids in some capacity. She connects really well with younger kids and does a great job caring for them.</div>
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Because of security concerns, I will not post any photos of Bubbles' face. Here's a photo of her at vaulting camp this week, though! I sure do love this sweet girl.</div>
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-5241184099443945252016-08-12T17:38:00.000-04:002016-08-12T17:38:01.284-04:00Famous Last WordsLast night at bedtime, Piper came upstairs crying that she didn't feel good. She didn't look good, either. I put some essential oils on her tummy and sent her to bed with a towel and a bowl. An hour later, her dinner made a violent reappearance.<br />
<br />
Piper had a sandwich for dinner last night because her morning chores took all day...like she still wasn't done with her basic morning chores at dinnertime, so once chores were finally done, dinner was over. So she got a sandwich. A ham sandwich. She made it herself.<br />
<br />
After the violent reappearance of the ham sandwich, Matt checked the ham. It smelled like death and was a funny color. He went and asked Piper about it.<br />
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<i>"But Dad, I ripped all the gray parts off the ham before I ate the sandwich!"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Oy.Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-53431301877282446662016-08-11T14:24:00.001-04:002016-08-11T14:24:52.716-04:00Laundry: What Works for MeManaging the many needs of a large family is a very challenging task. I know, I know, I signed up for this. I knew what I was getting into. I am up for the challenge. One of the biggest challenges of having a large family. is the laundry. Since I'm sure I'm not alone here, and since I've found a system that works really well for us, I'll share it. By the way...I've been using this system successfully for three years, so it is proven.<br />
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The first step in streamlining the laundry was to buy a high capacity washer and dryer. It wasn't cheap...I think we paid $1500 for the washer/dryer set. But it has been worth every penny. I can do 10 towels in one load. Excellent!<br />
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Each child has his/her own laundry basket. I do all my laundry in one day in order to simplify life. I currently have Friday as my laundry day, and I don't schedule any appointments on Fridays. On Friday morning, every child brings his/her laundry baasket to the laundry room. I run loads like this: Bubbles' & Piper's clothes, Sunny's and Pepper's clothes, Sweet Pea's and my clothes, Daddy's clothes, towels. I do sheets every other week, and always on a Saturday so the kids can make their own beds.<br />
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When I buy clothes, I don't buy things that require any special kind of care. If I can't wash it in a mixed load, I don't buy it. It saves me the hassle of having to sort by whites/colors etc. Pretty much this means I don't buy anything white for the kids, which is common sense anyway! Ha! Every August right before school starts, I throw away all the kids' socks and underwear and start fresh. I buy enough socks and undies that there is a pair of socks and undies for each outfit the kids own. I keep any leftovers in a bag in my closet so I can replace them as needed throughout the year. I buy different patterns of undies for each girl. I buy all white socks to simplify the matching process. When I buy the new socks, I write each child's initials on the heel of the socks so I know whose is whose. This is especially helpful because when I find dirty socks spread around the house, I know who the culprit it. If the kids get part way through the year and are coming up short on socks and/or underwear, it is their own fault and they have to buy more with their own money. I have 14 complete outfits for each child--two weeks' worth.<br />
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When the load comes out of the dryer, I sort it straight out of the dryer into the appropriate baskets. I change over the load, and carry the fresh dry load to the couch. I fold each child's clothes separately. I fold and put pants/skirts in one pile, and tops in another pile. I also make piles of socks and underwear. Sweaters and hang-ups go in the bottom of the basket, unfolded, to be hung or put away. Pajamas get folded and put into the basket. Next, I match outfits and put them into gallon-size ziploc bags. Each bag gets a shirt, pants, socks, and underwear. I zip the bag and put it in the laundry basket. When that child's laundry is complete, they come get their basket and put away their clothes. Each has a dresser with a drawer for sweaters, a drawer for pajamas, two drawers for bagged outfits, and a drawer for bathing suits/leotards/bras/etc.<br />
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During the week, when the kids get dressed, they put the empty bags in their dresser. On laundry day, I have a tote by the couch, and they put their empty bags into the tote for me when they bring up their dirty laundry.<br />
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I fold all my hubby's clothes and he puts them away. I fold the towels and the kids put them away. Snapper is almost 14, so she handles all her own laundry, from start to finish.<br />
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It may seem like my system requres extra work, but believe me...it's worth it. Here are the benefits.<br />
1. My kids go to school wearing appropriate clothing that is clean, looks nice, and fits the weather.<br />
2. My kids remember to change their underwear every day. Bubbles, Piper, and Sunny all still struggle with proper hygiene because they learned nothing about self care when they lived with their birth parents. If I don't insist on undies being changed every day, they will never change their undies. This system takes care of that issue.<br />
3. All the clothes get worn.<br />
4. Dressers don't become a disaster.<br />
5. I never hear "I don't have anything to wear!"<br />
6. I am able to keep track of what fits, what needs spot-treated, what needs to be replaced.<br />
7. I can always tell when they've been leaving laundry in the bathroom or stuffing it under their beds. When I am folding and find myself missing a shirt or two, or a couple of pairs of underwear, I send them to find it.<br />
8. It helps greatly with overall cleanliness and order in the bedrooms.<br />
9. It curbs my urge to buy excess clothing. I always know what we have and what we need.<br />
10. It allows me to get all my laundry done in one day. If I want to go two weeks without doing laundry, I can, but it makes for a longer laundry day.<br />
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My MIL sometimes gets on my case about it. Bubbles is almost 12 and Piper and Pepper are 10. They are old enough to do their own laundry. That may be the case, and they do know how to fold laundry. But in our home, I've chosen to do laundry this way for this season because it works for me. I like being in control of the laundry. There is so much in my life that I can't control, that having a properly working system makes me feel really good. And I like clean kids in clean clothes in clean underwear. This is the only way I can guarantee that. LOL!!!<br />
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Here's a photo of last week's clean laundry. Isn't it pretty?<br />
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-90145024138812505872016-07-22T02:08:00.000-04:002016-07-22T02:08:19.793-04:00Catching UpSince my last post...on May 30...much to report!<br />
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<ul>
<li>Successful move from on coast to the other</li>
<li>Buying a 5-acre farm!</li>
<li>Settling in</li>
<li>Building a goat barn and chicken coop</li>
<li>Buying 2 dairy goats, one of which has since had babies!</li>
<li>Teaching the kiddos how to milk and care for goats</li>
<li>Buying a small flock of chickens</li>
<li>Teaching the kiddos how to care for chickens</li>
<li>Planting a garden, which is thriving!</li>
<li>Getting started with an amazing pediatrician who is trauma-informed and specializes in behavioral health and neurology</li>
<li>Easy access to mental health care for our Sunny</li>
<li>Getting established with a great new therapist!</li>
<li>Getting five kids registered at three different schools</li>
<li>Hubby starting his new job</li>
<li>Canning gallons of cherries from our tree</li>
<li>Canning gallons of apricot jam and syrup </li>
<li>A mini vacation to Portland </li>
<li>Visits from friends and my sister and her family</li>
<li>Celebrating birthdays and holidays with family</li>
<li>Attempted suicide by a child and an ensuing call to the crisis hotline</li>
<li>Two children making new BFFs</li>
<li>First bee stings for three kids</li>
<li>Starting to compost</li>
<li>Kiddo sleepovers at Grandma's house</li>
<li>Our 15th anniversary!</li>
<li>And perhaps the most significant of all...a ruptured posterior tibial tendon for Mommy, which means major reconstructive surgery next week. </li>
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And summer is only halfway over!</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-56788681562212531562016-05-30T08:52:00.003-04:002016-05-30T08:52:43.058-04:00Closing a NovelSomeone said to me yesterday that we're "closing a chapter" in our lives. Nope...this is more like completing a novel in a series. We've spent six years in Central Florida. We've made close friends, put down deep roots, adopted three kids, given birth to another kid, moved three times, bought a house, had kids at four different schools, and made a gazillion memories. No, this isn't a chapter...this is a novel.<br />
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The house is all packed up. The truck is loaded. Matt is finishing loading the U-Haul trailer that he'll tow with our mattresses, bedding, towels, and other last-minute things. I'm cleaning the house today. Even though we'll still sleep here for two more nights, we won't be home except to sleep.<br />
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On Wednesday morning we'll blow kisses and breathe prayers of thanks over our years here and move westward for a fresh start.<br />
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Goodbyes are hard and moving sucks, but it's time and I'm ready.Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-19657407079065558502016-05-20T17:06:00.003-04:002016-05-20T17:06:43.260-04:00Budding ArtistI had a conference with Sunny's teacher this morning. We went over Sunny's portfolio of work from the year. At this time last year, I was agonizing over the decision I had to make to retain her in 1st grade. The school wasn't in support of my decision, and I had to fight for it. But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was NOT emotionally or cognitively ready for 2nd grade. This morning's conference couldn't have been more different! This time I can celebrate the end of 1st grade, knowing that my girl has a solid enough foundation to move forward with confidence. Goodness knows she struggles enough just with the basics of life! The last thing she needs is constant frustration at school. During the conference, her teacher showed me some of the beautiful art piece Sunny created this school year. I got to bring home the portfolio. Three of the piece take my breath away. They were done on her own...no tracing, no instruction. Just her creativity. I love the use of color. I love the representation of her ideas. I think once we get moved and settled, I'm going to invest in some formal art classes for her. I think it will be therapeutic as well as fun. So without further ado, check out these 8-year-old masterpieces!<br />
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-62954510096623554792016-05-08T19:07:00.002-04:002016-05-08T19:07:43.814-04:00Jar of LoveI love Mother's Day. It's the day my kids give my homemade gifts. Homemade gifts are the very best kind. I'd rather get a book of lovingly created child's artwork than jewelry. Not joking! My favorite gift from this year (not counting the gift from my husband) came from Sunny. She finger painted adorable flowers on a mason jar, and then filled the jar with hand written sentiments. Sunny has learning disabilities. She has dreadful penmanship...like almost illegible. Spelling and reading come extremely hard for her. Her sentiments are a perfect example of this. But gosh...are they CUTE!<br />
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i LoVe winyuo hug me.<br />
<i>I love when you hug me.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I LovE eore smooLe<br />
<i>I love your smile.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I LoVe yuo Becos pive me SrocsP<br />
<i>I love you because you give me snacks.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
i Love you Becace You aer nICe to me.<br />
<i>I love you because you are nice to me.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I Love you Becoucs yuo cientoLE<br />
<i>I love you because you are gentle.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
i LoVE yuo bcose you nivr hotre me<br />
<i>I love you because you never hurt me.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I LovE you bekas you awees takArE uf me<br />
<i>I love you because you always take care of me.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
This child struggles so greatly in her life. She fights Matt and me almost every waking moment. She may or may not ever recover from her early life experiences. But these sentiments--written entirely on her own--are proof to me that she is starting to love. And that gives me hope. I couldn't ask for anything better.<br />
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My hubby nailed it this year, too. He hand crafted this beautiful shelf for my essential oils. The shelf is made of oak. The middle and bottom shelves pull out. It can hang on the wall or sit on the counter. I absolutely love it! Best gift I've received in a long time. Way to go, Matt!<br />
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And I have to include my favorite photo from today. My sister bought a beautiful dress for Sweet Pea for her birthday. I love these two pictures of my Sweet Pea and me. My precious little miniature!</div>
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<br />Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049490935206310429.post-19058909378024989702016-05-06T20:43:00.001-04:002016-05-06T20:43:09.567-04:00Feeling ViolatedSelling a house is really not fun. First, there's the process of getting it ready to sell. For a family the size of ours, it's no easy task. First, there was the initial purge. Get rid of clutter. Clean up the house. Next came doing some repairs and fixing up some things. Painting a few rooms. Cleaning the carpets. Scrubbing the pool area. Patching the holes Sunny has kicked in the walls in her fits of rage. We listed the house and had a flood of showings the first two weeks. Feedback came in.<br />
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Violation #1: "Your house doesn't show well." "Nice house, but priced too high for the condition of the yard." "You need new furniture." "Too much clutter to really see the house." People coming in and criticizing your home is not fun, people.<br />
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Second purge. Get rid of more stuff. Pack up everything out of the closets and store it in the garage. Paint a couple more rooms. Lay sod in the side yard. Plant some fresh plants in the lanai. Take out the older furniture and donate it to Goodwill. Show the house some more.<br />
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Violation #2: Come home from a showing and discover the people used your bathroom...which is fine...but left pee on the seat and bathroom floor, and a pube on the seat...which is not okay in any way, shape, or form. Not okay at all.<br />
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Work your behind off every single day to keep the house in apple pie order, a monumental task with six kids around making messes behind you.<br />
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Violation #3: Strangers and strangers and strangers coming through your house at all hours of the day. And getting no offers on your beautiful home. Great feedback, but no offers.<br />
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Have a stager come in to look at the house so you can maybe figure out why you're getting no offers.<br />
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Thus, Violation #4: "Oh this color is so outdated. I know you like it, but it makes people want to leave your house. You need to paint. Your table decor is too small. It looks dwarfed. You need more sophisticated art. You want a family to buy your home, but a house this big needs to attract a family with money, and your house looks too lived-in."<br />
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Paint over your beloved red dining room. Hang sophisticated art and put fake orchids in the bathrooms. Put a slipcover on the comfy couch. Put giant glass bowls on the tables.<br />
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Violation #5: Figuring out the stager was right...your beautiful red dining room was a problem. You know this to be true because the next person to see your home makes an offer.<br />
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Violation #6: Knowing what your put into your house in the last 18 months...not just money, but time, energy, love, blood, sweat, tears, heart, and soul...and then getting an offer that doesn't reflect the value of your home.<br />
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Countering the offer. Countering again. Finally standing up and saying, "Don't try to get a bargain on this home. Offer us what it's worth or walk away. We're not paying your $14,000 of closing costs, and we're not taking another $13,000 off our list price.<br />
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Violation #7: The Inspection. Some dude going through every corner of your house with a fine tooth comb, looking for what's wrong with it. Your beloved home that you worked <i>so hard</i> to maintain and care for properly.<br />
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Violation #8: The buyers hanging out at the house for <i style="font-weight: bold;">2 hours</i> after the inspection is done. Y'all, it isn't your house yet! Go away already so we can come home.<br />
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I know I'm probably being overdramatic here. But y'all, it's how I feel. This isn't the first home I've sold, so this isn't new to me. But I have hated it both times. I'll tell you what, though...I do have some tips for potential home buyers.<br />
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1. Don't ask to see a house if you are a casual shopper. When you ask to view a house, the homeowner spends hours cleaning and preparing, and then has to leave when you come. It's highly inconvenient to the seller.<br />
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2. Predetermine what size range you want, and then only look at houses within your range. If you don't want a home larger than 2800 sq ft, then you have no business looking at homes that are 3600 sq ft. I kid you not...24 of the 35 showings of our house said it as way too big for them.<br />
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3. If the cost of the home plus the closing costs are outside of your price range, don't look at the home! Definitely don't make an offer on it and expect the seller to pay all your closing costs. Chances are, if they are selling one home, they are also buying another home, and paying your closing costs takes their money away from them.<br />
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4. <b>If you use someone's bathroom, clean up any mess you make.</b><br />
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5. Turn off the lights before you leave. You don't know when the seller is coming back, and there's no reason your carelessness should cause an increase in their power bill.<br />
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6. Don't let your kids go into the fenced pool area. Definitely don't let them get into the pool, even if it is just on the steps. And absolutely don't let them walk back into the house with wet/dirty feet.<br />
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7. When you leave feedback, don't insult a person's furniture. It's not part of the house and has nothing to do with you.<br />
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8. Remember that you are looking at someone else's home. Treat the home with the same respect you would wish to have your home treated with.<br />
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There. Rant over.<br />
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Oh...also...paint is paint. It cost us $42 to put a cream paint over the red dining room walls. Don't tell a seller they have bad paint colors. If you don't like their choice of colors, you can easily have the walls painted when you move in. If there are bold colors in several rooms, ask for a paint allowance when you make an offer. Chances are, the sellers are too worn out from the stress of selling a home to want to paint, and they won't mind giving you $500-$1000 to offset the cost of painting when you move in.Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06459566936750786139noreply@blogger.com0