PTSD

"Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you've seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death." --PubMed Health

PTSD is a close, personal friend of one of my adopted daughters. She received this diagnosis yesterday. For this little girl, PTSD manifests itself in the unwanted reliving of the events that caused such awful trauma. Now that I know what is going on, I am able to look back at the last several months and see the fingerprints of PTSD all over her. Sometimes she gets giddy and babbles nonsense. Sometimes she zones out. Sometimes she loses track of time and space so severely that she will have no memory of a 20-30 minute block of time. She can eat a meal and seriously not remember eating. Sometimes she will just sit and mindlessly giggle. She will do this when no one is in the room with her, and if you ask her what is so funny, she doesn't even realize she is giggling. It happened more frequently in the first 4 months that she was with us. It has dropped off at home, but she still zones out and goes to her "quiet place" at school. We're seeing connections between her episodes and things that are overwhelming or stressful.

She told me yesterday what it is like to be her. 

It is scary, Mommy. The memories are close to me all the time. They come to me whenever they want--I can't control them. It's really scary, Mommy. When the memories come, they are like there's a t.v. in my head. I have to watch (it) all the way and I can't turn it off. I don't want to see (it) again, so I have to go to my quiet place until (it) is over. Sometimes I have to make noise so I can't hear (it). I'm so tired of this, Mommy. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of waiting for those bad things to take over my brain. I will do whatever it takes to get rid of the pain and make the memories stop hurting.

My heart aches over this beautiful, sweet, precious child who has experienced such horrific things in her life. I ache when I think of the constant, nagging memories that disrupt the safety and balance of her world. I don't know what I would do if I ever came face to face with the people responsible for her trauma. She is beginning a very intense course of therapy--her decision--to help her heal.

581. A wonderful therapist who has vast experience in helping young children deal with this specific type of trauma
582. A little girl who is willing and ready to struggle through the pain of dealing with the abuse and neglect that is causing her this pain, because she knows dealing with it honestly will bring healing
583. Loyal friends who can be counted on to pray faithfully, even without knowing any specifics of the situation.
584. The guidance team at school and our daughter's teacher who are so completely on board with us
585. The solid 504 Accommodation Plan we put in place yesterday to meet her needs in the classroom
586. The healing love of Jesus, which is able to conquer all things. Even PTSD.
587. Beautiful weather for Snapper's swim meet today
588. The best meet she has ever had! Five personal best times, three new time cuts, and the podium in three of her five events!!! Not bad considering there were 60 swimmers in her age group!
589. Five cheerful, willing helpers who knocked out their housework chores in one hour today!
590. My husband, whose simple question: "What can I do to help you today?" made my day!

Check out those muscles in her back and shoulders!!! She was warming up her streamline for her 100 IM.

Discovering she made the podium in 50 Breaststroke, 50 Backstroke, and 100 IM.