Monday, August 4, 2008

A Good Ramble

Today started off on the wrong foot when I went to bed last night. At church last night, I ate an oatmeal raisin cookie. As I finished the last bite, I noticed a familiar discomfort in my mouth...the pain that usually signals I've eaten something with walnuts in it. I'm mildly allergic to walnuts. The typical reaction--all the skin peeling off the roof of my mouth--is uncomfortable, but not dangerous...until last night. I headed to the church kitchen to find out if there were walnuts in the cookies. By the time I read the packaging and discovered the cookies were oatmeal-walnut-raisin, my throat was beginning to feel itchy and tight. Stacie helped me track down some benadryl (hooray Leah for the ever-ready pharmacy in your purse!), and I settled in, hoping it would take effect quickly. For a nerve-wracking 20 minutes, I felt my throat get tighter and tighter, itchier and itchier. I was about to head for the hospital when the benadryl kicked in. 2 hours later, I was back to a normal throat and a very sore mouth. I think I will be heading to the allergist soon to get an epipen. It appears my allergy has morphed from mild to serious.

So we arrived home from church at around 8:30 and I posted last night's blog...apparently. Do I remember posting it? No. Do I have that unrest in my soul tonight? No. Chalk it up to the benadryl. Wow, the bottle doesn't say it's a mind-altering drug! It did warn me not to operate heavy machinery after taking it, but I don't think my computer counts as heavy machinery. Anyhoo, I went to bed sometime before 10 and woke up with a sore mouth, but generally feeling much better.

Today was a productive day. Matt and I had a good talk this morning in which we broke open some uncomfortable topics ($$$...cough cough...$$$). He left for work and I channeled my frustration into cleaning my house from top to bottom. I am woman, hear me roar! But I was miserable, so I stopped cleaning at around 9:30. I prayed, I read a few Psalms, and I wrote in my journal. And then I decided to do an attitude check. God made it very clear to me that I still needed to clean the house, but with a servant's heart. As I thought of how Matt's face would light up if he came home to a clean house, my heart changed. I had a blast vacuuming, doing dishes, sweeping floors, cycling 6 loads of laundry, and oragnizing all my homeschooling materials. The look on Matt's face was worth all the hard work. We're looking forward to a relaxing evening together once kiddos are in bed.

There were a few other tough things that crossed my path today. Someone very close to me is having a very difficult time at home. We talked today for an hour, and my heart aches for her. I wish I could gallop in and sweep her up and out of her awful situation, but I can't. Then I checked my email and found a series of emails from my Auntie Maggie. My 90-year-old Granny has moved into assisted living, and my aunt and uncle are packing up her house, and dividing Granny's precious things among the family. I knew this day would come, but I hate that it has. I hated looking at all the pictures of Granny's things lined up on tables. I hated having to choose which things will come to my house. I don't want Granny's things in my house. I want them in her house. So many changes are good, but this one is painful. It marks the end of a long and precious chapter in my life.

Okay, I think that's enough rambling for now. I'm off to enjoy some quiet together time with my wonderful Matt who, by the way, just came in and kissed me and thanked me for my hard work today. =)


Stef said...

Oh dear... I have so many mornings that start off this way. I've been posting some of my favorite Bible verses all over the house, so that I can easily be reminded to "put on Christ" when I'm naval gazing too much.

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. I remember her so well and I will admit, I can't believe she's still alive! I mean that in the most respectful way possible... it just totally took me by surprise. What a huge blessing for you guys.
I will keep her in my prayers. I can't imagine having to go through Jason's Grandma's things (since mine are both gone) and divvy stuff up between the family. As you said, it is necessary, but nonetheless, hard.


Lori and Gabe said...

Wow - you reminded me that I should keep some Benadryl in my car med kit just in case. And how funny that you don't remember your post! At least you didn't write anything embarrassing or attach pictures. ;)