I love my kids. I seriously love them. They are so cute and so funny...and so, kid. I learned a couple of things tonight at dinner that I must share. Why? Because one is a brilliant parenting trick, and the other is cute and funny.
1. Brilliant parenting trick.
Do you have a child that won't eat veggies? I do, and his name is Pepper. Pepper loves all the conventional kid foods: mac and cheese, hot dogs, pb&j, chicken nuggets, etc. I try not to feed him these processed non-foods very often, except for pb&j which I make using whole wheat bread, fresh ground Whole Foods peanut butter, and homemade jam. Pepper has learned to like turkey, string cheese, whole grain crackers, yogurt, and a general assortment of healthier, kid-friendly options. He also loves apples, bananas, grapes, oranges, and watermelon. I have not, however, been able to convince him that any vegetable is a healthy, kid-friendly food choice. Except for baby carrots, which he consumes at an alarming rate. I require that he eat at least 3 bites of the vegetable on his plate at every meal where I serve veggies, which is at least once, if not twice, per day. Because yes, I am a perfect superhealthy genius supermom. Yeah right, I'm SO not! But I do try, as much as possible, to instill healthy eating habits in my kids. My mom did with me, and I really try. Not always successful, but I do my best. Anyhoo, moving on.
Brilliant parenting tip: Asparagus spears are green swords, a superhero superfood!
After I told him that, Pepper devoured 2 asparagus spears in about 30 seconds! I almost died sitting there at the table, watching his face. His eyes were watering, and his face contorted into all sorts of horrible expressions. But he ate that asparagus willingly, even though the dislike was obvious. When I asked him if he wanted a third piece he said, "No thanks Mom. I ate two, and that is just about all I can take."
I almost died. Really! I almost choked on my asparagus trying to hold in the laughter.
2. Cute and funny
After the green superhero superfood incident, our dinner conversation got even funnier. Let me remind you that Snapper is almost 8 years old, and she is a very gifted student. Not much going on in the common sense department, but brilliant in school. And out of the blue as she is eating her chicken, she pops out this:
"Mom and Dad, did you know that chicken is chicken?"
What? Chicken is chicken? What is she talking about? Matt and I just stared at her.
"Really, y'all, this chicken we're eating used to be a real chicken."
Oh my gosh, did she just figure this out? She is 8. She is going into 3rd grade. Chicken is chicken.
Matt asks her if she knows what cow meat is called.
He asks her if she knows what pig meat is called.
I ask her again what the special name for pig meat is. Then I tell her the word starts with P.
Yes Snapper, sausage starts with P........
Then I remind her that it starts with P and ends with ork.
That's right kiddo, you've got it!
Then, just for fun, I ask her if she knows what goat meat is called. (The correct answer is chevon, by the way.)
"I know, TURKEY!"
That's where I lost it. I laughed and laughed, and so did Matt. Snapper laughed too, but she didn't know why. I didn't even bother to correct her. So on Thanksgiving, remember that according to Snapper, your Thanksgiving turkey is really goat meat.