Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Space Between

Okay, so I'm feeling really weird here. I know we are moving in 5 months. But in the next 5 months, life is still going on here. A growing piece of my heart is in Orlando, but most of my heart is still firmly here, surrounded by the activities of life and the people I love--my present reality. Part of me is excited and ready to get moved. But the rest of me wants to dig in my heels and hold on to the life I love in Arkansas. I know that the Master Gardener has begun to loosen my roots. I this what a plant feels like when it is being transplanted? It has to move to a bigger pot that is more suited for the needs of the plant, but each separating root fiber tears painfully away. That is how my heart feels right now, and I don't like the mix of emotions. I'm not quite sure sure how to process them. I cry some. I make the most of each opportunity to spend time with a friend, or do something cool and Arkansan. I savor each Sunday with our beloved church family. I look for special things to put in the kids' Arkansas memory books. I search real estate listings in Orlando. I cry some more. I tell friends about what God has called us to, and I get very excited. I go online and research the Orlando area. I get more excited. Then I talk to Karon or Steph and I cry all over again. And most of all, I pray. A Lot. And I cling to Jesus.

I am in Bible study on Thursday mornings with the most wonderful group of ladies in the world. Nuts girls, my eyes are watering! I am going to miss my Thursday girls so much. Anyhoo, this morning, my sweet friend Jac shared a verse with the group, and it really struck me. I memorized it this evening, and I am going to keep it present in my thoughts in the coming months. It will help; I know that.

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

In the midst of the unheaval, and waiting, and uprooting, and anticipation, and tears, and excitement, my heart can hold fast to God's promises. I resolve to keep my focus on God, and He will fill me with His perfect peace, joy, and hope. How thankful I am that no matter what comes my way, I can count on God.

Okay. I feel better now. I think I had better bookmark this post...I'm sure I'll need lots of reminding!


Kristin said...

What a mix of happiness and sadness. I know you'll never regret making the most of your last few months in AK - enjoying his gift in the present, but also seeing that he is doing a new thing!

Lori said...

{Hugs!} Putting that verse up by my sink tonight!

Southern Belle said...

Moving is a brings a lot of emotions to the surface. Just roll with em' and the Lord will bring you through each one. As someone who has moved countless times in the last six years I can relate. Somedays are easier than others, especially if where you move isn't what you hoped it would be--that was the most difficult part for me when we moved to SoCal. Thankfully for you it appears Orlando is going to be everything you hoped for and more! = ) Its going to be okay. Blessings friend.