Many of you have been following the journey I have taken with my friend Bev, who is battling leukemia. Here's a recap of the last 2 years.
January 22, 2007: Bev (age 32) is diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia). Prognosis is not great. She undergoes 7 months of INTENSE chemo.
August, 2007: Bev has her own stem cells harvested for a bone marrow transplant. Reactions to this kind of transplant are less severe.
January, 2008: A bone marrow biopsy comes back clear. Bev is in remission.
August, 2008: Bev's symptoms return. A biopsy confirms she has relapsed. A donor bone marrow transplant is necessary to give Bev a chance at life. The search for a donor begins. She undergoes heavy chemo in the process.
October, 2008: A donor is located! There are 10 proteins in the marrow that are considered in bone marrow matching. A strong match occurs if all 10 proteins are identical. 8 matching proteins are necessary for the transplant, though the success rate is lower with that scenario. Bev has an extremely rare condition--she only has 9 of the 10 proteins. Her donor also only has 9...and all 9 are a perfect match!
December 5, 2008: Bev receives her bone marrow transplant. She is in the hospital for 3 weeks, and then must remain house-bound for 100 days. The greatest concern is GvHD (Graft versus Host Disease), in which the donor cells recognize the recipient's body as foreign, and attack it. GvHD can be fatal.
December 10, 2008: Bev begins to display the early onset of GvHD in her intestines, skin, and bones.
December 12, 2008: I receive a call from Bev's aunt telling me that Bev is dying. She has lost consciousness and her body is shutting down.
December 15, 2008: By some miracle, Bev pulled through. Even her doctors claimed a miracle.
December 24, 2008: Bev has made so much progress that her doctor agrees to let her go home for Christmas. She ends up not having to return to the hospital. Begin the 100 days of confinement.
From that point on Bev's progress has been slow, but steady. Occassional flare-ups of the GvHD have made life miserable at times (imagine diarrhea that can't be controlled...up to 20 times per day, the sensation of having sand in the eyes, chest to toe itchy rash, severe leg pains, etc.). But the GvHD has responded well to steroids. At the same time, the GvHD is a blessing because it destroys any leukemia cells that may be present.
April 8 was Bev's 4-month post-transplant bone marrow biopsy. It was excruciatingly painful, and then the wait for the results was agonizing. But the results are in. Bev is in remission! 100% of her bone marrow cells are donor cells. No mutated cells at all! Just a few months ago the doctors put Bev's chance at surviving this transplant at only 25%. She has beaten the odds and is doing great. She's even starting to get some hair growth back on her head! Her next biopsy will be in December, provided she doesn't experience any leukemia symptoms.
To all of you who have prayed for Bev, sent her cards, participated in gift giving, thank you. You have made a difference.
Showing posts with label Beverly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beverly. Show all posts
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Our Latest Adventure
Our North Carolina Trip was awesome! We were blessed with a 2-bedroom suite at the hotel so Matt could host a couple of receptions there in the little living room. This space allowed the kids and me to crash and relax without being crowded into a single hotel room. Having their own beds made a huge difference in the quality of sleep the kids got, too. While Matt was very happily working at the conference, the kids and I made the 30-mile trek to Beverly's house, sometimes twice a day. She was delighted to meet and spend time with them.
She and I had a great time visiting too, of course. On Sunday after the conference finished, Matt joined us at Bev's house and our two families spent the afternoon and evening together. Bev's youngest son Christian just turned 7, so he and Snapper loved playing together. Both of them were very sad when it was time for us to leave.
On Monday morning we checked out of our hotel, and then went to meet with the man (Bill) who gave us our new van. He and Matt got all the paperwork done and went to the DMV to transfer the title and get current tags on the van. That completed, we went to Bill's house to pick up the van. It is a 1996 Ford Windstar. It has high miles, but Bill is a Ford mechanic, and put in a new transmission, new air filter, fresh fluids, and new tires for us. He went through it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure it was sound. It is bright teal (such a mid-90's color) on the outside, and light gray upholstery on the inside. It is in beautiful condition, and has obviously been well taken care of. It drives like a dream, and we are SO thankful to God for providing us this vehicle!
On Monday afternoon we drove back to Concord to go to the Hendrick Motorsports headquarters. As you know, I am a huge NASCAR fan. The driver I closely follow is Jimmie Johnson, who is on the Hendrick Motorsports racing team. We got to visit the Hendrick Museum and shop, where I purchased a Jimmie Johnson license plate for the front of my new van, and a lug nut off of Jimmie's car, which is now safely on my keychain. We also got to see the shop where they work on the 48 and 24 cars (Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon, for those of you who care!). It was such a thrill! Hee hee! I'm a nerd and I own it...
After our little museum stop, we hit the road for real. Matt and Pepper, accompanied by "Shrek," took the rental car. Snapper and I, accompanied by "Annie," followed in the new van. We drove as far as our tired bodies could handle that night, ending up at a Hamton Inn about 40 miles west of Knoxville, TN. We walked in, put the kids in their jammies, and dropped them into bed. I kid you not, Pepper was asleep within 10 seconds, and Snapper within 2 minutes. It was too cute not to photograph.
On Tuesday morning, we all slept in until 8:30, then had breakfast at the hotel, and hit the road again. We stopped in Nashville and met a friend for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh yum! What a great way to celebrate Fat Tuesday! It was great to spend some time with Jen and catch up with her. After lunch, we drove on to Memphis. We stopped at the Children's Place in Memphis and bought Snapper's Easter dress. So cute! Pictures will come at Easter. The last leg of our journey was from Memphis to our home, about a 2-hour drive.
And now I mount my soap box. I think Tennessee must be a very safe state because they have state troopers everywhere, and the speed limits actually mean something. I must have seen a state trooper every 10-15 miles all the way through Tennessee. Not Arkansas. I didn't see one the whole way from Memphis, through Little Rock, and on to our house. Not one. And guess what? The truckers know this and take advantage of it. One trucker tried to run me off the road. I really think it was intentional, because he saw me getting onto the freeway, there was no one in the left lane, yet he didn't move over, and sped up as I was merging into the right lane from the on ramp. I ended up in the dirt on the very narrow shoulder, and saw my life pass in front of my eyes as he came barreling by me. It was really scary! I got back on the road and headed forward. As soon as I caught up to that truck, he pulled into the left lane before I could pass him. I followed him for about 3 miles (no, he wasn't trying to pass another truck). When he wouldn't get into the right lane, I got over and tried to pass him on the right. As soon as I got into the right lane and started to pass, he put on his turn signal and started to change lanes into me, almost running me off the road again. Once again I backed off, and he completed the lane change. I moved back into the left lane to pass him, and he sped up to 80 mph (the truck speed limit was 55). I wasn't about to do 90 to pass him, so I backed off again. Once again he changed into the left lane and slowed down. This time I didn't use my signal. I backed off, got a running start, and jumped into the right lane and sped past him before he could run over me. He changed lanes again right as I got by him. It was several miles before I was able to outrun him. He stayed on my tail as I cruised between 75 and 80 mph, changing lanes behind me every time I changed lanes. I kept praying for a state trooper to come rescue me, but alas, my hopes were in vain. I was so relieved when he finally backed off. For the next 100 miles I encountered several other trucks that were driving recklessly and endangering other vehicles on the road. I felt like I had dragons breathing fire behind me the whole way. I have never been so glad to see the lights of out town. We pulled into the driveway rattled and cranky, but very glad to be home. I'm so glad I'll be home for a good while now! Life can go back to normal.
She and I had a great time visiting too, of course. On Sunday after the conference finished, Matt joined us at Bev's house and our two families spent the afternoon and evening together. Bev's youngest son Christian just turned 7, so he and Snapper loved playing together. Both of them were very sad when it was time for us to leave.
On Monday morning we checked out of our hotel, and then went to meet with the man (Bill) who gave us our new van. He and Matt got all the paperwork done and went to the DMV to transfer the title and get current tags on the van. That completed, we went to Bill's house to pick up the van. It is a 1996 Ford Windstar. It has high miles, but Bill is a Ford mechanic, and put in a new transmission, new air filter, fresh fluids, and new tires for us. He went through it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure it was sound. It is bright teal (such a mid-90's color) on the outside, and light gray upholstery on the inside. It is in beautiful condition, and has obviously been well taken care of. It drives like a dream, and we are SO thankful to God for providing us this vehicle!
On Monday afternoon we drove back to Concord to go to the Hendrick Motorsports headquarters. As you know, I am a huge NASCAR fan. The driver I closely follow is Jimmie Johnson, who is on the Hendrick Motorsports racing team. We got to visit the Hendrick Museum and shop, where I purchased a Jimmie Johnson license plate for the front of my new van, and a lug nut off of Jimmie's car, which is now safely on my keychain. We also got to see the shop where they work on the 48 and 24 cars (Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon, for those of you who care!). It was such a thrill! Hee hee! I'm a nerd and I own it...
After our little museum stop, we hit the road for real. Matt and Pepper, accompanied by "Shrek," took the rental car. Snapper and I, accompanied by "Annie," followed in the new van. We drove as far as our tired bodies could handle that night, ending up at a Hamton Inn about 40 miles west of Knoxville, TN. We walked in, put the kids in their jammies, and dropped them into bed. I kid you not, Pepper was asleep within 10 seconds, and Snapper within 2 minutes. It was too cute not to photograph.
On Tuesday morning, we all slept in until 8:30, then had breakfast at the hotel, and hit the road again. We stopped in Nashville and met a friend for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh yum! What a great way to celebrate Fat Tuesday! It was great to spend some time with Jen and catch up with her. After lunch, we drove on to Memphis. We stopped at the Children's Place in Memphis and bought Snapper's Easter dress. So cute! Pictures will come at Easter. The last leg of our journey was from Memphis to our home, about a 2-hour drive.
And now I mount my soap box. I think Tennessee must be a very safe state because they have state troopers everywhere, and the speed limits actually mean something. I must have seen a state trooper every 10-15 miles all the way through Tennessee. Not Arkansas. I didn't see one the whole way from Memphis, through Little Rock, and on to our house. Not one. And guess what? The truckers know this and take advantage of it. One trucker tried to run me off the road. I really think it was intentional, because he saw me getting onto the freeway, there was no one in the left lane, yet he didn't move over, and sped up as I was merging into the right lane from the on ramp. I ended up in the dirt on the very narrow shoulder, and saw my life pass in front of my eyes as he came barreling by me. It was really scary! I got back on the road and headed forward. As soon as I caught up to that truck, he pulled into the left lane before I could pass him. I followed him for about 3 miles (no, he wasn't trying to pass another truck). When he wouldn't get into the right lane, I got over and tried to pass him on the right. As soon as I got into the right lane and started to pass, he put on his turn signal and started to change lanes into me, almost running me off the road again. Once again I backed off, and he completed the lane change. I moved back into the left lane to pass him, and he sped up to 80 mph (the truck speed limit was 55). I wasn't about to do 90 to pass him, so I backed off again. Once again he changed into the left lane and slowed down. This time I didn't use my signal. I backed off, got a running start, and jumped into the right lane and sped past him before he could run over me. He changed lanes again right as I got by him. It was several miles before I was able to outrun him. He stayed on my tail as I cruised between 75 and 80 mph, changing lanes behind me every time I changed lanes. I kept praying for a state trooper to come rescue me, but alas, my hopes were in vain. I was so relieved when he finally backed off. For the next 100 miles I encountered several other trucks that were driving recklessly and endangering other vehicles on the road. I felt like I had dragons breathing fire behind me the whole way. I have never been so glad to see the lights of out town. We pulled into the driveway rattled and cranky, but very glad to be home. I'm so glad I'll be home for a good while now! Life can go back to normal.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Road Warriors
As I type, I am comfortably settled in our hotel suite in North Carolina. We have 2 bedrooms, a kitchenette, a bathroom, and a living room. Wow! It is so nice and beautiful and relaxing! We have this set-up so that Matt can host little welcome sessions for pastors and group coordinators at the event this weekend without having to pay the hotel for the use of another conferene room. It is so good to be on the road, yet have a place entirely of our own in which to relax. Matt and I have a king-sized bed in our room, while Snapper and Pepper each have a double bed in their room. When we arrived last night, we crashed. Weary road warriors.
We drove straight through from Arkansas to Concord yesterday. That's a lot of miles. We borrowed a second portable dvd player (thanks, Anne!), so that each child could watch their own movies. It worked like a charm! The kids were amazing on the trip, even though it was 16 hours from home to hotel. I'm so relieved...
We went and visited Beverly this afternoon. She is doing really well! Her steroids are pretty well balanced, and she is getting around the house on her own. On Monday, though, she found out that reducing her steroids is not an option. When the doctors dropped her dosage, the Graft vs. Host Disease flared up and landed her in the hospital for 3 days. Now though, after bumping the steroids back up a bit, she's doing great. Today was the first time for the kids to meet her, and they loved her, of course. I think Snapper is going to be a nurse someday. The nurturer in her kicked in, and without any prompting from me, she tucked blankets in around Bev, walked close and held Bev's arm any time Bev would go anywhere, and kept offering to do little things to help her. It was sweet. Pepper was his adorable, charming self, giving "Bedavee" lots of hugs.
Now we're back at the hotel. The kids are just waking up from a 3-hour nap. Should make for a much more pleasant evening. The three of us are heading back to Bev's house for the evening while Matt's event kicks off. I must say, he looks undeniably HOT in his black pants, new black shoes, and new designer LifeChange staff shirt. Hee hee! Tomorrow will be spent with Bev. I'll post pictures when I get a chance.
As a side note--this afternoon I bought tickets for the September 6th NASCAR race in Atlanta!!!!! Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! No, it is not my birthday. But the race will fall on my birthday weekend, and is, therefore, my 30th birthday present! Counting the days...
We drove straight through from Arkansas to Concord yesterday. That's a lot of miles. We borrowed a second portable dvd player (thanks, Anne!), so that each child could watch their own movies. It worked like a charm! The kids were amazing on the trip, even though it was 16 hours from home to hotel. I'm so relieved...
We went and visited Beverly this afternoon. She is doing really well! Her steroids are pretty well balanced, and she is getting around the house on her own. On Monday, though, she found out that reducing her steroids is not an option. When the doctors dropped her dosage, the Graft vs. Host Disease flared up and landed her in the hospital for 3 days. Now though, after bumping the steroids back up a bit, she's doing great. Today was the first time for the kids to meet her, and they loved her, of course. I think Snapper is going to be a nurse someday. The nurturer in her kicked in, and without any prompting from me, she tucked blankets in around Bev, walked close and held Bev's arm any time Bev would go anywhere, and kept offering to do little things to help her. It was sweet. Pepper was his adorable, charming self, giving "Bedavee" lots of hugs.
Now we're back at the hotel. The kids are just waking up from a 3-hour nap. Should make for a much more pleasant evening. The three of us are heading back to Bev's house for the evening while Matt's event kicks off. I must say, he looks undeniably HOT in his black pants, new black shoes, and new designer LifeChange staff shirt. Hee hee! Tomorrow will be spent with Bev. I'll post pictures when I get a chance.
As a side note--this afternoon I bought tickets for the September 6th NASCAR race in Atlanta!!!!! Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! No, it is not my birthday. But the race will fall on my birthday weekend, and is, therefore, my 30th birthday present! Counting the days...
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Christmas Miracle
10 days ago, I received a call from Beverly's aunt Gloria to let me know the doctors didn't think Bev would survive the night. There was no sign that the new bone marrow was engrafting, and they were losing hope that it ever would. She had no immune system, her blood pressure was 70/45, she could not speak, was having oxygen machine-forced into her lungs, and her body was being attacked by pneumonia.
Here we are, 10 days later. I talked with Bev for 20 MINUTES last night! The pneumonia is gone, except for a lingering cough which demands that Bev be on oxygen at night. Her blood pressure is back up to 100/60. She is able to talk again, and the mouth sores that have been plaguing her are going away. Though food still tastes funny, she is getting her appetite back. The fantastic news, though, is that the bone marrow has completely engrafted, and her blood counts are all close to the normal range again!!! Even her doctor is amazed at the progress she has made in a week!
The prayer at this point is:
1. Her breathing will clear up entirely
2. That her digestive system would be able to handle the switch from iv antibiotics to oral antibiotics
3. That her body would stop retaining fluid
4. That she would experience an increase in energy
5. That she would be able to see the progress she has made, rather than looking at how long the road ahead is.
The doctor is hoping to send her home on January 3. Once she goes home, she is under "house arrest" for 100 days (to give her system time to reboot and strengthen without exposure to outside germs). I'm hoping to go visit her late February or early March.
Bev wanted me to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and to thank you again for your prayers for her. She is overwhelmed and so grateful.
Here we are, 10 days later. I talked with Bev for 20 MINUTES last night! The pneumonia is gone, except for a lingering cough which demands that Bev be on oxygen at night. Her blood pressure is back up to 100/60. She is able to talk again, and the mouth sores that have been plaguing her are going away. Though food still tastes funny, she is getting her appetite back. The fantastic news, though, is that the bone marrow has completely engrafted, and her blood counts are all close to the normal range again!!! Even her doctor is amazed at the progress she has made in a week!
The prayer at this point is:
1. Her breathing will clear up entirely
2. That her digestive system would be able to handle the switch from iv antibiotics to oral antibiotics
3. That her body would stop retaining fluid
4. That she would experience an increase in energy
5. That she would be able to see the progress she has made, rather than looking at how long the road ahead is.
The doctor is hoping to send her home on January 3. Once she goes home, she is under "house arrest" for 100 days (to give her system time to reboot and strengthen without exposure to outside germs). I'm hoping to go visit her late February or early March.
Bev wanted me to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and to thank you again for your prayers for her. She is overwhelmed and so grateful.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Update
Praise God, Bev survived the night. Today she was diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia. They have her on a breathing machine when she sleeps, and that is really helping. They're also pumping her full of steroids. Her fever broke this morning, too, which is excellent news. She's not out of the woods by any means, but she has made it one more day and seems to be improving a bit. Keep the prayers coming! I'll updating as I get news.
Friday, December 12, 2008
What Can I Say?
Talked to Beverly's aunt this morning. Bev's not doing well. She has had unexplained high fevers for the last few days. Yesterday they switched her to a new antibiotic in hopes that it would take care of whatever is causing the fevers. Nope. Bev had a severe allergic reaction to the antibiotic. Now it is the next day. She pulled through the night, but things are looking grim today. She is still swollen huge, is retaining fluid, can't talk, has low blood pressure, and still has a fever...104.1 at last update.
The doctors are running all sorts of tests trying to find out the source of the fevers. A chest x-ray shows some abnormalities, so they're putting a scop down into her lungs this afternoon to check.
Add to all this that her blood counts are not coming up, which means the new bone marrow cells have not engrafted yet. Anyways, it's not looking good at all right now, and she needs a miracle to survive this. She would be okay with saying goodbye and going home to Jesus. I'm okay with that too...except for two things: Christian and Dante. Those little boys need their mommy. Their situation is so unique--it will be close to impossible without Bev to hold it all together.
So my prayers are that God would work a miracle and bring Bev through this, for the sake of the boys. If He should choose to do otherwise, I will still praise Him and trust that He knows what is best. But wow, what a much rougher road it will be.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed faithfully for my sweet friend. I covet your prayers for her more than ever before.
The doctors are running all sorts of tests trying to find out the source of the fevers. A chest x-ray shows some abnormalities, so they're putting a scop down into her lungs this afternoon to check.
Add to all this that her blood counts are not coming up, which means the new bone marrow cells have not engrafted yet. Anyways, it's not looking good at all right now, and she needs a miracle to survive this. She would be okay with saying goodbye and going home to Jesus. I'm okay with that too...except for two things: Christian and Dante. Those little boys need their mommy. Their situation is so unique--it will be close to impossible without Bev to hold it all together.
So my prayers are that God would work a miracle and bring Bev through this, for the sake of the boys. If He should choose to do otherwise, I will still praise Him and trust that He knows what is best. But wow, what a much rougher road it will be.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed faithfully for my sweet friend. I covet your prayers for her more than ever before.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Weekends Make Me Happy!
Pepper got in bed with Snapper sometime during the night which resulted in us getting to sleep until 8:30. Blissful! I am thoroughly enjoying this mid-morning date with Facebook and blogs. Then I get to take my camera out to The Old Mill again for another photoshoot with some friends. 2 kids, sibling pics, and a family portrait! It's a balmy 35 degrees outside, so they will be jeans, sweaters, and scarves pictures. I love that! This afternoon Snapper has the dress rehearsal for her play tomorrow! Her first time on stage! It will be such fun. After rehearsal, I'm coming home to "Lord of the Rings," a cup of hot chocolate, and a mountain of Christmas cards to stuff. Sigh! I love this time of year and all the fun little things I get to do! If I finish the Christmas cards this afternoon, I'm going to start wrapping presents. I want to have my Spokane and California boxes in the mail by Friday.
Tomorrow after church I'm thinking I want to start baking cookies. I have 4 recipes for this year, and my neighbors all get to sample them. So does the mailman and the kids' Sunday School teachers. Yes, lots of fun!
For those of you who have been following my friend Beverly's leukemia story, she had her bone marrow transplant on Thursday. There was a lot of concern that her body would reject the marrow, but she is doing great! She hasn't had any concerning symptoms, and we are praising the Lord. She will be in the hospital until after New Year's, though. Thanks for praying for her. Please continue those prayers because she needs them, and will need them even more as Christmas approaches.
Alrighty! I'm signing out. Leave a comment and tell me what you're doing this weekend! I'd love to hear about it.
Tomorrow after church I'm thinking I want to start baking cookies. I have 4 recipes for this year, and my neighbors all get to sample them. So does the mailman and the kids' Sunday School teachers. Yes, lots of fun!
For those of you who have been following my friend Beverly's leukemia story, she had her bone marrow transplant on Thursday. There was a lot of concern that her body would reject the marrow, but she is doing great! She hasn't had any concerning symptoms, and we are praising the Lord. She will be in the hospital until after New Year's, though. Thanks for praying for her. Please continue those prayers because she needs them, and will need them even more as Christmas approaches.
Alrighty! I'm signing out. Leave a comment and tell me what you're doing this weekend! I'd love to hear about it.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Update on Bev--Technical
I talked to Bev this morning. She is in the hospital. When she talked to the doctor last night, she learned that while she doesn't have any leukemia cells right now (which is good), she does have an increased presence of mutated cells. I did some reasearch in order to better understand what is going on with Bev's body. Here is what I found. Some of Bev's 9th an 22nd chromosomes have swapped pieces. The result of this translocation is that some of her 22nd chromosomes are shorter than a normal 22nd chromosome. This mutation is called the Philadelphia chromosome. These Ph chromosomes operate independently. They speed up cell division, and inhibit DNA repair. This can cause genetic instability, which produces blasts--malignant, immature white blood cells. The blasts quickly crowd out healthy white blood cells, causing death. So Bev's diagnosis is Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) Philadelphia positive (Ph+). Being Ph+ makes her leukemia much harder to treat and the outcome much less favorable. It's just one added factor to fight. One out of every 5 adults with ALL is Ph+. Along with the regular chemo, she has taken medication to kill the Ph+ cells. Unfortunately, the meds haven't taken care of those cells. In fact, they have increased since September. So last night she started on another medication to help fight the Ph+ cells. She had taken this med last year, and it made her sick. It made her sick again last night. She spiked a fever, had awful chills, and kidney pain. So her husband took her to the hospital at 1:00 this morning. She is on an antibiotic, and started on more chemo today to keep the blasts at bay. She will still start the transplant process on November 26th. 6 days of intense chemo, followed by 3 days of rest, and the actual transplant on December 5. Since the medication hasn't killed the Ph+ cells, there is little possibility it ever will. The doctor's hope at this point is that the graft vs host disease will attack the remaining Ph+ cells. Bev is hoping to be able to go home for a few days before the transplant starts. She has some loose ends to tie up, and she wants a few more focused days with her family. The prognosis for this transplant is not as good as we would like. She is feeling really down about the prospect of not having those last few days. Please pray accordingly.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Hate
Have I mentioned that I HATE cancer?
Beverly got her bone marrow biopsy results back today. Her doctor was expecting she would be in remission and ready to go in for her bone marrow transplant next week. Not to be. Her tests were positive for the Philadelpia factor (the type of cell mutation she has). This means she has to go back into chemo Thursday. From there I'm not sure where they'll go. I'll be talking to her in the morning to get more details.
This just totally stinks. Things are tough enough already for her without getting more bad news, more pain, more delays. I wish I could carry some of this for her. I wish I didn't live so stinkin' far away. 750 miles feels like 10,000 right now.
I know God has a plan, and that His way is best. I just don't understand sometimes, and now is one of those times. I guess I'll just have to keep trusting His heart. After all, He is God.
By the way, in case you missed it before, I HATE cancer.
Beverly got her bone marrow biopsy results back today. Her doctor was expecting she would be in remission and ready to go in for her bone marrow transplant next week. Not to be. Her tests were positive for the Philadelpia factor (the type of cell mutation she has). This means she has to go back into chemo Thursday. From there I'm not sure where they'll go. I'll be talking to her in the morning to get more details.
This just totally stinks. Things are tough enough already for her without getting more bad news, more pain, more delays. I wish I could carry some of this for her. I wish I didn't live so stinkin' far away. 750 miles feels like 10,000 right now.
I know God has a plan, and that His way is best. I just don't understand sometimes, and now is one of those times. I guess I'll just have to keep trusting His heart. After all, He is God.
By the way, in case you missed it before, I HATE cancer.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
So Much
I am home now. Thank you to everyone (Debbie, Pam, Stephanie, Karana, Lannece, Nikki) who made our trip possible. It was a precious time. A dark valley. A brilliant mountaintop. This will be a long blog. It's mostly for me. I am honored to share my journey with you, should you care to read it.
Where do I begin? Matt and I pulled out of Arkansas at 6:00 a.m. last Wednesday, an hour later than planned because Matt's alarm didn't go off. Our right front tire went down in Jackson, Tennessee, and we had to make an unscheduled stop for a new tire. That put us behind another hour. We met up with friends for lunch in Nashville, but they were delayed and the restaurant had a half-hour wait. Behind another hour. Then there was no going over the speed limit AT ALL...not even a little bit. Why? Because we saw 38 state troopers between Memphis and the North Carolina border. Yes, I really did count. I always count state troopers when we're on a road trip. Helps pass the time. Anyhoo, that was an average of one state trooper every 12 miles. Then there was construction in several different places on the way which slowed us up even more. I did get to enjoy the beautiful fall colors in west and central Tennessee, but much to my dismay, it was dark before we got into the Smoky Mountains. We drove the painfully slow, dark 50 mph from Knoxville down through Asheville. It was almost 11:00 p.m. before we rolled into Joe and Bev's driveway in Salisbury, NC. One loooooong day! But it was great, too! Matt and I spent the first 2 hours on the road in a wonderful time of worship together. We talked about God, His goodness, how He speaks to us as individuals, and how we want to be more in tune to His voice. We prayed together, shed a few tears, and sang through the worship playlist on my iPod. Loved every minute of it.
It was kinda weird watching Matt and Bev see each other for the first time in 12 years. The last time they saw each other was when Matt broke up with her. Wow...I just had to try not to think too hard about it or it was just plain weird. We were all too tired to visit much then, so we headed to bed. In the morning Bev's husband Joe was off of work, so the four of us had breakfast and did some catching up on our families. Then Matt had to hit the road again, back to Kingsport, TN, for his LifeChange event. It was an important conference for him, the last step in his new job training. Bev and I had a quiet weekend together. We did some errands, went to a women's ministry event at her church, and went with Joe to Dan Nicholas Park to enjoy the fall colors.
We watched movies, napped, and talked. We also pulled a practical joke on Matt. Bev used to be a beautician. So we told Matt that Bev had bleached my hair and colored it blond. We put one of her wigs on me, took a picture, and emailed it to Matt at his event. He fell for it, and proceeded to show the picture to his colleagues at the event. Ha ha!!!! I love a good joke!
I also did portraits of their family. here are a few of my favorites.
Matt came back on Sunday night. And then things really got rolling. We stayed up until 11:00 just talking. On Monday morning, Matt and Bev, both early risers, got up before me and had a chance to work through some stuff from the past. They talked through some old hurts, answered some hard questions, and brought complete closure to their past. It was healing for them both. And healing for me as his wife.
Matt asked her if she believes God allows all things to happen for a reason. When she said yes, he asked her what we were doing there at her house in North Carolina. She then told him that for several years she has prayed for him: that God would keep Matt focused on Him; that God would give him a special wife who was just right for him; and that God would bring Matt back into her life so she could know he was doing well. When I felt that strong urge to look up Beverly at the end of August, I know now even more that it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit. God answered Bev's prayers for Matt. How glad I am that I listened to that prompting!
When I woke up and joined Matt and Bev, we finally broached that unspeakable question: what if she doesn't survive the transplant? And then the tears flowed. We cried together and talked through it. She is not afraid to die. In a way, she even welcomes the thought of going to Jesus. I'm tearing up remembering it. It was so hard to say goodbye and drive away from her. For the next 3 hours as Matt and I drove, we talked and cried through the events of the weekend. Neither one of us can really process everything that has transpired in the past few months. All we can do is marvel at the greatness of God, who in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to bring us into such a unique relationship with this precious family. "'My thoughts are completely different from yours,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9. Oh, how good God is!
Matt and I have learned so much from this relationship. Of course there's the obvious reminder that God alone knows what is best for us. But we have also experienced a change of perspective--a change that has come from spending time with someone who is nearing the end of this life. Our entire outlook on life has changed. All of a sudden new priorties have come into focus, and many other things no longer seem important. As we travelled through eastern Tennessee, we asked each other these questions: What matters in life? What are we doing that matters? What are we doing that doesn't matter? How do our lives fit into the scheme of eternity? How can we keep an eternal perspective as we walk through our everday lives? What does God want from us? How can we serve Him better? How can our lives bring glory to God? A lot to think on.
We spent the evening and night with our dear friends Chance and Jen in Tennessee. We hadn't seen them in 2 1/2 years, so it was lots of fun to catch up with them and love on their new baby girl, J. On Tuesday morning we headed out on the last leg of our journey. We were mostly quiet on the remaining 5 hours of our drive. We were delighted, of course, to see our kiddos again. But when we got home, it all came crashing down on me.
The wave of emotion that hit almost knocked me over. As I walked into the safe haven of our home, I felt like I was melting, smothering under the weight of the last week. I kissed the kids goodnight, passed them off to Matt, and crawled upstairs to our room. For 3 hours I sat cuddled in my bed with a roll of toilet paper (I'm out of Kleenex), my journal, my Bible, and my iPod. I felt desperate, in need of a touch from God. I poured out my heart on 4 pages of my journal. Then I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms. In the quiet of my room, I called out to God. And He answered me. I read and read, soaking up words of comfort, reminders of God's faithfulness, assurance of God's sovereignty, and promises that God has perfect plans for me. For Matt. For Beverly. The songs of worship on my iPod reaffirmed the words I was reading. After reading Psalm 23-Psalm 118, peace came. Exhaustion followed that wave of peace, and I drifted off to sleep.
Now it is the day after. Even the mundane details of today felt different. I have a new measure of patience with the kids. I saw today's discipline times (there were several) as opportunities to teach Snapper and Pepper about God's character and his desire for their lives. Laundry was a sweet act of service for my precious husband. I prayed through the prep of 4 meals (which are now in the freezer). Thank you notes to some of our supporters were a chance for me to thank God for them, pray for them, and encourage them with written words. My day almost seems unreal. Even now as I type, I'm asking the Lord to continue to draw me and grow me closer to Him. Oh, I'm hurting. But if there's one thing I'm aware of right now, it's that God meets me in the midst of my pain. And close to Him is the only place I want to be. How I love Him!
Okay, enough for tonight. I'll close with a little funny from today. I didn't want to eat the pork they served for dinner at church tonight, so I made an awesome beef stew and biscuits from scratch. I took a picnic basket of dinner up to church, and our family ate alone upstairs. I even brought honey for the biscuits. Snapper decided she wanted honey on her biscuits, but she couldn't get the honey container open. Instead of asking for help, she decided to try and open it with her teeth. To everyone's surprise, the honey lid popped out one of her baby teeth! Can we say shocked and amazed? That tooth wasn't even loose yet! As the blood gushed, Snapper was too surprised to even cry. I walked her to the bathroom to help her get the bleeding stopped. She giggled and giggled, shaking all over the whole time. I laughed until I cried! It was so funny, and her reaction was so cute. I love this losing teeth stage! She is so adorable with another space in her smile!
Where do I begin? Matt and I pulled out of Arkansas at 6:00 a.m. last Wednesday, an hour later than planned because Matt's alarm didn't go off. Our right front tire went down in Jackson, Tennessee, and we had to make an unscheduled stop for a new tire. That put us behind another hour. We met up with friends for lunch in Nashville, but they were delayed and the restaurant had a half-hour wait. Behind another hour. Then there was no going over the speed limit AT ALL...not even a little bit. Why? Because we saw 38 state troopers between Memphis and the North Carolina border. Yes, I really did count. I always count state troopers when we're on a road trip. Helps pass the time. Anyhoo, that was an average of one state trooper every 12 miles. Then there was construction in several different places on the way which slowed us up even more. I did get to enjoy the beautiful fall colors in west and central Tennessee, but much to my dismay, it was dark before we got into the Smoky Mountains. We drove the painfully slow, dark 50 mph from Knoxville down through Asheville. It was almost 11:00 p.m. before we rolled into Joe and Bev's driveway in Salisbury, NC. One loooooong day! But it was great, too! Matt and I spent the first 2 hours on the road in a wonderful time of worship together. We talked about God, His goodness, how He speaks to us as individuals, and how we want to be more in tune to His voice. We prayed together, shed a few tears, and sang through the worship playlist on my iPod. Loved every minute of it.
It was kinda weird watching Matt and Bev see each other for the first time in 12 years. The last time they saw each other was when Matt broke up with her. Wow...I just had to try not to think too hard about it or it was just plain weird. We were all too tired to visit much then, so we headed to bed. In the morning Bev's husband Joe was off of work, so the four of us had breakfast and did some catching up on our families. Then Matt had to hit the road again, back to Kingsport, TN, for his LifeChange event. It was an important conference for him, the last step in his new job training. Bev and I had a quiet weekend together. We did some errands, went to a women's ministry event at her church, and went with Joe to Dan Nicholas Park to enjoy the fall colors.
We watched movies, napped, and talked. We also pulled a practical joke on Matt. Bev used to be a beautician. So we told Matt that Bev had bleached my hair and colored it blond. We put one of her wigs on me, took a picture, and emailed it to Matt at his event. He fell for it, and proceeded to show the picture to his colleagues at the event. Ha ha!!!! I love a good joke!
I also did portraits of their family. here are a few of my favorites.
Matt came back on Sunday night. And then things really got rolling. We stayed up until 11:00 just talking. On Monday morning, Matt and Bev, both early risers, got up before me and had a chance to work through some stuff from the past. They talked through some old hurts, answered some hard questions, and brought complete closure to their past. It was healing for them both. And healing for me as his wife.
Matt asked her if she believes God allows all things to happen for a reason. When she said yes, he asked her what we were doing there at her house in North Carolina. She then told him that for several years she has prayed for him: that God would keep Matt focused on Him; that God would give him a special wife who was just right for him; and that God would bring Matt back into her life so she could know he was doing well. When I felt that strong urge to look up Beverly at the end of August, I know now even more that it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit. God answered Bev's prayers for Matt. How glad I am that I listened to that prompting!
When I woke up and joined Matt and Bev, we finally broached that unspeakable question: what if she doesn't survive the transplant? And then the tears flowed. We cried together and talked through it. She is not afraid to die. In a way, she even welcomes the thought of going to Jesus. I'm tearing up remembering it. It was so hard to say goodbye and drive away from her. For the next 3 hours as Matt and I drove, we talked and cried through the events of the weekend. Neither one of us can really process everything that has transpired in the past few months. All we can do is marvel at the greatness of God, who in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to bring us into such a unique relationship with this precious family. "'My thoughts are completely different from yours,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9. Oh, how good God is!
Matt and I have learned so much from this relationship. Of course there's the obvious reminder that God alone knows what is best for us. But we have also experienced a change of perspective--a change that has come from spending time with someone who is nearing the end of this life. Our entire outlook on life has changed. All of a sudden new priorties have come into focus, and many other things no longer seem important. As we travelled through eastern Tennessee, we asked each other these questions: What matters in life? What are we doing that matters? What are we doing that doesn't matter? How do our lives fit into the scheme of eternity? How can we keep an eternal perspective as we walk through our everday lives? What does God want from us? How can we serve Him better? How can our lives bring glory to God? A lot to think on.
We spent the evening and night with our dear friends Chance and Jen in Tennessee. We hadn't seen them in 2 1/2 years, so it was lots of fun to catch up with them and love on their new baby girl, J. On Tuesday morning we headed out on the last leg of our journey. We were mostly quiet on the remaining 5 hours of our drive. We were delighted, of course, to see our kiddos again. But when we got home, it all came crashing down on me.
The wave of emotion that hit almost knocked me over. As I walked into the safe haven of our home, I felt like I was melting, smothering under the weight of the last week. I kissed the kids goodnight, passed them off to Matt, and crawled upstairs to our room. For 3 hours I sat cuddled in my bed with a roll of toilet paper (I'm out of Kleenex), my journal, my Bible, and my iPod. I felt desperate, in need of a touch from God. I poured out my heart on 4 pages of my journal. Then I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms. In the quiet of my room, I called out to God. And He answered me. I read and read, soaking up words of comfort, reminders of God's faithfulness, assurance of God's sovereignty, and promises that God has perfect plans for me. For Matt. For Beverly. The songs of worship on my iPod reaffirmed the words I was reading. After reading Psalm 23-Psalm 118, peace came. Exhaustion followed that wave of peace, and I drifted off to sleep.
Now it is the day after. Even the mundane details of today felt different. I have a new measure of patience with the kids. I saw today's discipline times (there were several) as opportunities to teach Snapper and Pepper about God's character and his desire for their lives. Laundry was a sweet act of service for my precious husband. I prayed through the prep of 4 meals (which are now in the freezer). Thank you notes to some of our supporters were a chance for me to thank God for them, pray for them, and encourage them with written words. My day almost seems unreal. Even now as I type, I'm asking the Lord to continue to draw me and grow me closer to Him. Oh, I'm hurting. But if there's one thing I'm aware of right now, it's that God meets me in the midst of my pain. And close to Him is the only place I want to be. How I love Him!
Okay, enough for tonight. I'll close with a little funny from today. I didn't want to eat the pork they served for dinner at church tonight, so I made an awesome beef stew and biscuits from scratch. I took a picnic basket of dinner up to church, and our family ate alone upstairs. I even brought honey for the biscuits. Snapper decided she wanted honey on her biscuits, but she couldn't get the honey container open. Instead of asking for help, she decided to try and open it with her teeth. To everyone's surprise, the honey lid popped out one of her baby teeth! Can we say shocked and amazed? That tooth wasn't even loose yet! As the blood gushed, Snapper was too surprised to even cry. I walked her to the bathroom to help her get the bleeding stopped. She giggled and giggled, shaking all over the whole time. I laughed until I cried! It was so funny, and her reaction was so cute. I love this losing teeth stage! She is so adorable with another space in her smile!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Praises Like Crazy!!!
Beverly just called me. She's in the hospital receiving more chemo today. But the news we've been wanting to hear has finally arrived...They have a bone marrow donor! The donor is a perfect match, which is a complete thrill! The transplant is scheduled for the second week of November. Please be praying that all will go well leading up to the transplant, and after the transplant. There's a 20% chance that her body will reject the donor marrow, which would mean death. So please be in prayer for Bev and her family.
She has made a request of me. Please let me know if you would like to participate. She wants 30 Bible verses to hang on her hospital room wall while she's there for the transplant. If God brings a special verse to mind that you think would encourage Bev, write it in bold letters on an 8 1/2x11 piece of paper. She has also requested lots of bright colors. It needs to readable from 15 feet away. If you do this, please mail it or email it to me. If you don't have the time to put it together but you know a good verse, just email the verse to me and I'll put it together. If you want my address, email me at bertholic630@yahoo.com. Thanks!
She has made a request of me. Please let me know if you would like to participate. She wants 30 Bible verses to hang on her hospital room wall while she's there for the transplant. If God brings a special verse to mind that you think would encourage Bev, write it in bold letters on an 8 1/2x11 piece of paper. She has also requested lots of bright colors. It needs to readable from 15 feet away. If you do this, please mail it or email it to me. If you don't have the time to put it together but you know a good verse, just email the verse to me and I'll put it together. If you want my address, email me at bertholic630@yahoo.com. Thanks!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A Trip to Remember
Would someone come over and scrape me up off the floor? When I planned my trip to North Carolina to go see Beverly, all my concerns were centered around how weird it would be to actually meet her face to face. And I was concerned with how her husband would react to me, too. It turns out that all my worries were for naught. There was nothing weird about being there with her, and I got along great with her husband. The thing I never thought to worry about has snuck up on me and caught me by surprise...has basically trampled me into a steaming pile of mush on the floor. Rememeber that old joke:
Q: Where does a 2-ton gorilla sit when he goes to the movies?
A: Anywhere he wants to!
That 2-ton gorilla is sitting on me today and his name is Grief.
I lived life to the fullest every minute I spent with Beverly. We talked, looked at scrapbooks, and read children's books together We laughed a lot and cried a little. I took her to the doctor. I took her dogs to the vet. I cooked 8 meals to put in their freezer. We watched movies together, all cuddled up on the couch. I pushed her in her wheelchair around a beautiful park and we enjoyed the glorious fall colors. We went to the mall and to Lowe's Motor Speedway (where I got to walk on Pit Road!!!). We talked and laughed and talked. The time sped by, and before I knew it, I was on the plane flying home. The whole time I was there I lived in the moment.
This morning reality is sinking in, the reality that my Bevvy has cancer, and her odds of surviving are not good. For whatever reason, it all rolled off my back (I'm a duck, quack quack) while I was there. Now that I've taken off that cheerful caretaker hat, I've come crashing down. I'm flooded with memories of my mom's illness. And death. And the pain and lonliness of being without her. I'm looking down that path again and praying that God would allow Bev to walk down a brighter road. If I have to walk that dark road alongside her, I will. But I would rather not go that way. I hate the amount of suffering she's going through, and will continue to go through in the coming weeks. I pray her transplant will be successful so that the suffering is not without reward. Sure, I know Heaven will be the ultimate reward and a place where she will suffer no more. But I'm not ready for that, either. Neither is she.
I know in a few days the gorilla will move on and I'll bounce back. For today though, I'm allowing myself to grieve a bit. And I'm hanging on to God's promises and the knowledge that He sees the big picture and has Bev's best and my best in mind, whether it follows my desires or not.
Here are some pictures from my trip. I am looking forward to another 4 days with her in November.
Q: Where does a 2-ton gorilla sit when he goes to the movies?
A: Anywhere he wants to!
That 2-ton gorilla is sitting on me today and his name is Grief.
I lived life to the fullest every minute I spent with Beverly. We talked, looked at scrapbooks, and read children's books together We laughed a lot and cried a little. I took her to the doctor. I took her dogs to the vet. I cooked 8 meals to put in their freezer. We watched movies together, all cuddled up on the couch. I pushed her in her wheelchair around a beautiful park and we enjoyed the glorious fall colors. We went to the mall and to Lowe's Motor Speedway (where I got to walk on Pit Road!!!). We talked and laughed and talked. The time sped by, and before I knew it, I was on the plane flying home. The whole time I was there I lived in the moment.
This morning reality is sinking in, the reality that my Bevvy has cancer, and her odds of surviving are not good. For whatever reason, it all rolled off my back (I'm a duck, quack quack) while I was there. Now that I've taken off that cheerful caretaker hat, I've come crashing down. I'm flooded with memories of my mom's illness. And death. And the pain and lonliness of being without her. I'm looking down that path again and praying that God would allow Bev to walk down a brighter road. If I have to walk that dark road alongside her, I will. But I would rather not go that way. I hate the amount of suffering she's going through, and will continue to go through in the coming weeks. I pray her transplant will be successful so that the suffering is not without reward. Sure, I know Heaven will be the ultimate reward and a place where she will suffer no more. But I'm not ready for that, either. Neither is she.
I know in a few days the gorilla will move on and I'll bounce back. For today though, I'm allowing myself to grieve a bit. And I'm hanging on to God's promises and the knowledge that He sees the big picture and has Bev's best and my best in mind, whether it follows my desires or not.
Here are some pictures from my trip. I am looking forward to another 4 days with her in November.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Adios!
Tomorrow morning I fly out to North Carolina to see Beverly. My bags are packed full of scrapbooks, presents, and everything necessary for a fun girl weekend. I'm a little bit nervous, but that's to be expected, I think. My only regret about the trip is that I'll be 20 minutes from Lowes Motor Speedway on the weekend of the fall NASCAR race there...to be that close and not go!!! It's a crying shame! Hee hee! Anyhoo, I'll blog and post pics about the trip when I get home on Tuesday. So adios for now!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Darn Good Weekend!
It is Sunday night. My kids are tucked into their beds and are sound asleep. My kitchen is clean. My living room is tidy and ready for the start of another week. I spent all afternoon yesterday cycling, folding, and putting away laundry. I won't have to do laundry again for another 2 weeks or so. Woo hoo! Lesson plans are ready for the morning. The whole house smells like the wonderful cinnamon candles I've been burning all weekend. My husband is at OUR COMPUTER, which is back from Best Buy this afternoon.
Side note--DO NOT buy a computer from Best Buy. DO NOT have The Geek Squad work on your computer. They are lazy, sloppy, and entirely dishonest. It took them 6 weeks to replace our hard drive. They returned the computer to us last week and told us there was a new hard drive in it. We get it home only to discover that they had wiped our old hard drive clean (the one that has now crashed twice), rebuilt it, and put it back in. They told us it was a new hard drive. Liars! They lied about other things, too. What could have been done in the store in 30 minutes took them 6 weeks to do, and caused Matt several hours of frustration, trips down to the store, talks with various associates, managers, etc. to get it all squared away. Okay, enough complaining. I have my computer back, and I'm glad.
So anyway, where was I going? Oh yeah! It has been a fabulous weekend. It started on Friday night. A kind friend from church gave us a gift certificate for a night at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. So Deb-Deb babysat overnight for us. Matt and I went and saw Fireproof. Fabulous movie! I highly recommend it. It will be the best money you've spent on a movie in a very long time. After the movie, we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner. Yummy! We checked into the hotel and enjoyed a quiet evening just talking without kids interrupting. I slept like a log on the kingsize Serta pillowtop mattress. Matt got an awful headache in the middle of the night. After visiting the front desk to beg for Advil, he ended up spending the rest of his night on the couch in our room. Poor guy! The Advil kicked in, and we both slept until our alarm went off at 9. I can't tell you the last time I slept until 9! It was wonderful! We enjoyed a very leisurely breakfast of croissants and lattes at a local bakery. It was so great to have some focused time for the two of us. It wasa much-needed break from routine for us both. I spent the rest of the day doing laundry, and crocheting between loads. I'm on a make-hats-for-cancer-patients kick right now.
This morning was church. One of the guys in our community group got baptized this morning, so we went out to lunch to celebrate. We went out to...Sam's Club...for pizza. Ha ha! Strange yes, but a good value for sure! The kids napped this afternoon. Matt worked on getting the computer set up. I crocheted, watched the NASCAR race, and forced myself to drink a quart of cranberry juice. Not the Ocean Spray cranberry juice cocktail. Nope, it was the real, no-sweetener-added, Whole Foods junk. I have yet another bladder infection, and I can't take antibiotics this time. So it's the miserable regiman of that torturous juice for me the next 3 days. I'm praying it works, cause that crap is N-A-S-T-Y! It's bitter enough to make my eyes water and my hair curl! At least my Jimmie Johnson won the race today, the cause for much rejoicing for me! Go Lowes! See, I knew that my wearing the corny NASCAR #48 lounge pants would bring Jimmie good luck!!! I take partial credit for Jimmie's win today. Tonight we went back to church for an all-church prayer meeting. It was good for my heart to spend an hour with our church family seeking God's face for wisdom in the future direction of our church. I love our church!
Now I'm comfortably (except for the quart of cranberry juice churning in my stomach) settled in bed. I'm thankful for the use of Deb-Deb's laptop when she's not at home! I'm thinking ahead to the coming month. There's so much to look forward to! Next weekend is the LifeChange staff women's retreat. I'm looking forward to a weekend away to be encouraged and to spend time with God and my gal pals. We'll be at a gorgeous lakefront resort, and the weather is supposed to be spectacular! The following weekend I'm flying out to North Carolina to spend 5 days with Beverly. I seriously can't wait! We have big plans to watch chick flicks, drink tea, look at pictures, and do lots of laughing. She's good for me--a reality check and a reminder not to take my health for granted. I'm good for her--someone who is not intimidated by her illness, someone who could care less if she's bald and can't walk, someone who has walked very closely the cancer road before and is familiar with what she's going through. I thank God for this sweet friend. And I try not to think of what will happen to my heart if she loses this battle. *Shudders*
There's a lot of other awesome stuff coming up and lots more to say, but I think I've said enough for tonight. I hope I haven't bored you with this rather mundane recounting of our weekend and anticipation of the next few weeks. This blog was more for me than for anyone else. Happy week, y'all!
Side note--DO NOT buy a computer from Best Buy. DO NOT have The Geek Squad work on your computer. They are lazy, sloppy, and entirely dishonest. It took them 6 weeks to replace our hard drive. They returned the computer to us last week and told us there was a new hard drive in it. We get it home only to discover that they had wiped our old hard drive clean (the one that has now crashed twice), rebuilt it, and put it back in. They told us it was a new hard drive. Liars! They lied about other things, too. What could have been done in the store in 30 minutes took them 6 weeks to do, and caused Matt several hours of frustration, trips down to the store, talks with various associates, managers, etc. to get it all squared away. Okay, enough complaining. I have my computer back, and I'm glad.
So anyway, where was I going? Oh yeah! It has been a fabulous weekend. It started on Friday night. A kind friend from church gave us a gift certificate for a night at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. So Deb-Deb babysat overnight for us. Matt and I went and saw Fireproof. Fabulous movie! I highly recommend it. It will be the best money you've spent on a movie in a very long time. After the movie, we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner. Yummy! We checked into the hotel and enjoyed a quiet evening just talking without kids interrupting. I slept like a log on the kingsize Serta pillowtop mattress. Matt got an awful headache in the middle of the night. After visiting the front desk to beg for Advil, he ended up spending the rest of his night on the couch in our room. Poor guy! The Advil kicked in, and we both slept until our alarm went off at 9. I can't tell you the last time I slept until 9! It was wonderful! We enjoyed a very leisurely breakfast of croissants and lattes at a local bakery. It was so great to have some focused time for the two of us. It wasa much-needed break from routine for us both. I spent the rest of the day doing laundry, and crocheting between loads. I'm on a make-hats-for-cancer-patients kick right now.
This morning was church. One of the guys in our community group got baptized this morning, so we went out to lunch to celebrate. We went out to...Sam's Club...for pizza. Ha ha! Strange yes, but a good value for sure! The kids napped this afternoon. Matt worked on getting the computer set up. I crocheted, watched the NASCAR race, and forced myself to drink a quart of cranberry juice. Not the Ocean Spray cranberry juice cocktail. Nope, it was the real, no-sweetener-added, Whole Foods junk. I have yet another bladder infection, and I can't take antibiotics this time. So it's the miserable regiman of that torturous juice for me the next 3 days. I'm praying it works, cause that crap is N-A-S-T-Y! It's bitter enough to make my eyes water and my hair curl! At least my Jimmie Johnson won the race today, the cause for much rejoicing for me! Go Lowes! See, I knew that my wearing the corny NASCAR #48 lounge pants would bring Jimmie good luck!!! I take partial credit for Jimmie's win today. Tonight we went back to church for an all-church prayer meeting. It was good for my heart to spend an hour with our church family seeking God's face for wisdom in the future direction of our church. I love our church!
Now I'm comfortably (except for the quart of cranberry juice churning in my stomach) settled in bed. I'm thankful for the use of Deb-Deb's laptop when she's not at home! I'm thinking ahead to the coming month. There's so much to look forward to! Next weekend is the LifeChange staff women's retreat. I'm looking forward to a weekend away to be encouraged and to spend time with God and my gal pals. We'll be at a gorgeous lakefront resort, and the weather is supposed to be spectacular! The following weekend I'm flying out to North Carolina to spend 5 days with Beverly. I seriously can't wait! We have big plans to watch chick flicks, drink tea, look at pictures, and do lots of laughing. She's good for me--a reality check and a reminder not to take my health for granted. I'm good for her--someone who is not intimidated by her illness, someone who could care less if she's bald and can't walk, someone who has walked very closely the cancer road before and is familiar with what she's going through. I thank God for this sweet friend. And I try not to think of what will happen to my heart if she loses this battle. *Shudders*
There's a lot of other awesome stuff coming up and lots more to say, but I think I've said enough for tonight. I hope I haven't bored you with this rather mundane recounting of our weekend and anticipation of the next few weeks. This blog was more for me than for anyone else. Happy week, y'all!
Monday, September 22, 2008
A New Friend and the Fingerprints of God
Over the last several weeks I've had the privilege of getting to know someone very special. Her name is Beverly. Beverly was Matt's college girlfriend. I know, weird, right? Yes! But it's also not weird at all. Let me explain. Over the years Matt has told me bits and pieces about Beverly. Matt broke up with her 12 years ago because he knew it was what he needed to do. It was very hard of Matt and Beverly both, but it was God's intervention. We know that now. 12 years went by with no contact. All we have known about her these last several years was that she was married and living in North Carolina. And then, for whatever reason, about a month ago I started thinking a lot about Beverly. I felt the strong need to know where and how she was. I have no explanation for that. A google search turned up no new information. But then I did a search on Facebook. When I typed in her name, a group "In Honor of Beverly G" popped up. I took a look at the page...and discovered that is was the right Beverly, and that she has leukemia. Needless to say, it was a shock to me, but even more to Matt. We cried together and prayed for wisdom as to whether or not we should intrude on her life and get back in touch. I knew it would be a bit hard for me, but I also knew that should God open the door for us, we should walk through it.
Matt's mom provided the answer for us. She called Beverly just to talk, and determined that it would be okay for us to get in contact with her, too. I assured Matt that it was okay with me. So we sent an email. And she emailed back. After exchanging a few emails, she called me. I sat out on the front porch, and in a sense of unreality, talked for 4 hours with Beverly. The connection was instant. When we got off the phone (only after both of our cell phones died), I knew a lot about her, and she knew a lot about me. We are so much alike, in fact, that we've decided we are twins, separated at birth. Seriously, we have so much in common that it's kind of crazy. I've never met someone else who was so much like me!
That night Matt and I stretched out on our bed and I told him all about my conversation with his old girlfriend. All we could think was, "This shouldn't be happening...this shouldn't be possible! This is weird, this is crazy, but this is RIGHT!" Matt was at peace with it. I was at peace. And Beverly was at peace. Turns out I am the answer to her prayers for a new, close friend. Go figure! Who would have thought it would be me!
Over the past week "Bevvy-O" and I have talked on the phone every day. We've talked when she has been at home. We've talked while she has been in the hospital. We've laughed together, and even shed a few quiet tears (mainly on my end). She and Matt have been able to exchange a few emails and bring the closure they never had 12 years ago. Both Matt and Beverly recognize God's divine intervention in their relationship. She is married to a wonderful man who is just the right one for her. And she openly tells both Matt and me that I am much better for him than she ever was.
This sweet new friend has really challenged me. Even though she is in the thick of treatment for her relapse of leukemia and is awaiting a bone marrow transplant, she has an amazing sense of humor. Right now she is so weak that she can't even stand, and is dreading the arrival of mouth sores that will ulcerate her mouth for 2 months. And yet she's plotting practical jokes to play on her doctor, and looking for joy in the midst of the pain. From time to time she'll let down and tell me about how she's hurting or how sick she feels, but it is never in a spirit of complaining. She is amazing! She is taking one day at a time, trusting God every step of the way. As a result of my conversations with her, I have been able to get outside myself (I've been pretty introverted recently) and reach out. I have been on the hunt for people to get tested as possible bone marrow matches, with great response. I've been moved back into a lifestyle of prayer, as Beverly is never far from my mind. And she has caused me to think about my own life and relationships with my family. Matt and I have gotten so much closer this week. And I've appreciated my kids more than ever. I've also been more grateful for my good health. Thanks, Bev.
In November I get to go to North Carolina and spend 5 days with Beverly. (If we can figure out a way to pay for me to fly out there sooner, I'll do that, too.) Matt will be at the Weekend to Remember in Kingsport, Tennessee, November 7-9. Bev and I are hoping she'll be at home then, so we can relax a bit more. I'll still go if she is in the hospital and I'll stay with her there. We're also praying she doesn't have mouth sores then so we can talk our hearts out. If she does, she has a trusty whiteboard and I'll bring her a new 3-pack of dry erase pens. Hee hee! I can hardly wait!
This is a story of God's miraculous work in the hearts of three people. How else can you explain it? How can you explain the incredible bond I have with the only other woman who has held my husband's heart? Inbelievable! How else can you explain the redemption of something that was so painful for both Matt and Beverly? And we're excited to see how God uses us to make a difference in Beverly's life. We're not sure yet how that's going to look. I'm specifically asking God that I would be the bone marrow match for Bev. I love her, and I want to be the one to help her win her fight against cancer. I couldn't do anything to help my mom. I want to help Bev. I want to be a player in a victory against the disease I hate more than anything. But God knows. Maybe that's not the part He has for me to play. If someone else gets the privilege of being her donor (and someone else probably will), I'm totally okay with that. Like I said, we'll wait and see.
If you want to follow Beverly's story, you can visit her personal page at www.carepages.com. You can join carepages, and then type in the name Beverly Gibbons to access her page. She and her husband post regular updates there, especially when there's new info about her disease. And you can be praying for Beverly and her family. The current prayer requests are:
1. That a bone marrow donor would be located soon
2. That Beverly would have the strength to get through her current chemo and its side effects. She really wants to avoid the mouth sores.
3. That God would provide for their financial needs. Her husband, Joe, can only work part-time right now, and their insurance only covers 80% of their costs. They are in need of a miracle. If you would like to help, please let me know and I'll pass on info about their needs.
Well, I think this has been long enough. I hope I've helped you understand how amazed, delighted, and thankful I am that God has brought this precious relationship to pass. Goodnight, y'all!
Matt's mom provided the answer for us. She called Beverly just to talk, and determined that it would be okay for us to get in contact with her, too. I assured Matt that it was okay with me. So we sent an email. And she emailed back. After exchanging a few emails, she called me. I sat out on the front porch, and in a sense of unreality, talked for 4 hours with Beverly. The connection was instant. When we got off the phone (only after both of our cell phones died), I knew a lot about her, and she knew a lot about me. We are so much alike, in fact, that we've decided we are twins, separated at birth. Seriously, we have so much in common that it's kind of crazy. I've never met someone else who was so much like me!
That night Matt and I stretched out on our bed and I told him all about my conversation with his old girlfriend. All we could think was, "This shouldn't be happening...this shouldn't be possible! This is weird, this is crazy, but this is RIGHT!" Matt was at peace with it. I was at peace. And Beverly was at peace. Turns out I am the answer to her prayers for a new, close friend. Go figure! Who would have thought it would be me!
Over the past week "Bevvy-O" and I have talked on the phone every day. We've talked when she has been at home. We've talked while she has been in the hospital. We've laughed together, and even shed a few quiet tears (mainly on my end). She and Matt have been able to exchange a few emails and bring the closure they never had 12 years ago. Both Matt and Beverly recognize God's divine intervention in their relationship. She is married to a wonderful man who is just the right one for her. And she openly tells both Matt and me that I am much better for him than she ever was.
This sweet new friend has really challenged me. Even though she is in the thick of treatment for her relapse of leukemia and is awaiting a bone marrow transplant, she has an amazing sense of humor. Right now she is so weak that she can't even stand, and is dreading the arrival of mouth sores that will ulcerate her mouth for 2 months. And yet she's plotting practical jokes to play on her doctor, and looking for joy in the midst of the pain. From time to time she'll let down and tell me about how she's hurting or how sick she feels, but it is never in a spirit of complaining. She is amazing! She is taking one day at a time, trusting God every step of the way. As a result of my conversations with her, I have been able to get outside myself (I've been pretty introverted recently) and reach out. I have been on the hunt for people to get tested as possible bone marrow matches, with great response. I've been moved back into a lifestyle of prayer, as Beverly is never far from my mind. And she has caused me to think about my own life and relationships with my family. Matt and I have gotten so much closer this week. And I've appreciated my kids more than ever. I've also been more grateful for my good health. Thanks, Bev.
In November I get to go to North Carolina and spend 5 days with Beverly. (If we can figure out a way to pay for me to fly out there sooner, I'll do that, too.) Matt will be at the Weekend to Remember in Kingsport, Tennessee, November 7-9. Bev and I are hoping she'll be at home then, so we can relax a bit more. I'll still go if she is in the hospital and I'll stay with her there. We're also praying she doesn't have mouth sores then so we can talk our hearts out. If she does, she has a trusty whiteboard and I'll bring her a new 3-pack of dry erase pens. Hee hee! I can hardly wait!
This is a story of God's miraculous work in the hearts of three people. How else can you explain it? How can you explain the incredible bond I have with the only other woman who has held my husband's heart? Inbelievable! How else can you explain the redemption of something that was so painful for both Matt and Beverly? And we're excited to see how God uses us to make a difference in Beverly's life. We're not sure yet how that's going to look. I'm specifically asking God that I would be the bone marrow match for Bev. I love her, and I want to be the one to help her win her fight against cancer. I couldn't do anything to help my mom. I want to help Bev. I want to be a player in a victory against the disease I hate more than anything. But God knows. Maybe that's not the part He has for me to play. If someone else gets the privilege of being her donor (and someone else probably will), I'm totally okay with that. Like I said, we'll wait and see.
If you want to follow Beverly's story, you can visit her personal page at www.carepages.com. You can join carepages, and then type in the name Beverly Gibbons to access her page. She and her husband post regular updates there, especially when there's new info about her disease. And you can be praying for Beverly and her family. The current prayer requests are:
1. That a bone marrow donor would be located soon
2. That Beverly would have the strength to get through her current chemo and its side effects. She really wants to avoid the mouth sores.
3. That God would provide for their financial needs. Her husband, Joe, can only work part-time right now, and their insurance only covers 80% of their costs. They are in need of a miracle. If you would like to help, please let me know and I'll pass on info about their needs.
Well, I think this has been long enough. I hope I've helped you understand how amazed, delighted, and thankful I am that God has brought this precious relationship to pass. Goodnight, y'all!
Monday, September 15, 2008
A Priceless Opportunity
To All My Readers:
Matt and I recently learned that our friend Beverly Gibbons has leukemia and is in immediate need of a bone marrow transplant. Without the transplant, she will most likely not survive. As of yet, they have been unable to locate a donor match for her. Beverly is 33 and is married with two young sons.
Matt and I are getting tested to see if we are able to be donors. We are asking you if you would consider joining us and being tested as well. If you are between the ages of 18-60 and are in general good health, you can apply. The test is simple: 4 swabs of the inside of your cheek with a q-tip. The testing usually costs $52, but between now and September 22, NASCAR is sponsering a nationwide bone marrow drive and will cover the cost of testing.
By signing up, you are entered into a national bone marrow registry. Even if you are not a match for Beverly, you could be a match for another person who needs a transplant to survive. Approximately 11,000 lives are saved each year in the U.S. through this registry. Once in the registry, you are never required to donate, though if you are identified as a possible match, you have the option to donate.
If you are a match, the patient's insurance will cover the complete cost of your donation, including travel if necessary. The procedure is simple, requiring only an overnight hospital stay. If you are concerned about the pain as I was, I have been reassured that you are anesthetized for the procedure, and the pain is minimal. For more information, visit www.marrow.org.
Should you decide to register, visit www.marrow.org. In the bottom, right-hand corner of the page, follow the link for the NASCAR Foundation Drive. Registering through the NASCAR page covers all the cost for you. You will complete a few pages of questions to determine your eligibility. If you are approved, the registry will send you your test kit.
Thank you so much for being willing to consider this. Who knows...maybe you will be the one who matches Beverly! What a priceless opportunity! If you decide to get tested, please comment and let me know.
Much love,
Emily
Matt and I recently learned that our friend Beverly Gibbons has leukemia and is in immediate need of a bone marrow transplant. Without the transplant, she will most likely not survive. As of yet, they have been unable to locate a donor match for her. Beverly is 33 and is married with two young sons.
Matt and I are getting tested to see if we are able to be donors. We are asking you if you would consider joining us and being tested as well. If you are between the ages of 18-60 and are in general good health, you can apply. The test is simple: 4 swabs of the inside of your cheek with a q-tip. The testing usually costs $52, but between now and September 22, NASCAR is sponsering a nationwide bone marrow drive and will cover the cost of testing.
By signing up, you are entered into a national bone marrow registry. Even if you are not a match for Beverly, you could be a match for another person who needs a transplant to survive. Approximately 11,000 lives are saved each year in the U.S. through this registry. Once in the registry, you are never required to donate, though if you are identified as a possible match, you have the option to donate.
If you are a match, the patient's insurance will cover the complete cost of your donation, including travel if necessary. The procedure is simple, requiring only an overnight hospital stay. If you are concerned about the pain as I was, I have been reassured that you are anesthetized for the procedure, and the pain is minimal. For more information, visit www.marrow.org.
Should you decide to register, visit www.marrow.org. In the bottom, right-hand corner of the page, follow the link for the NASCAR Foundation Drive. Registering through the NASCAR page covers all the cost for you. You will complete a few pages of questions to determine your eligibility. If you are approved, the registry will send you your test kit.
Thank you so much for being willing to consider this. Who knows...maybe you will be the one who matches Beverly! What a priceless opportunity! If you decide to get tested, please comment and let me know.
Much love,
Emily
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