Tagged by Stefanie

So as I look back through the 270 posts over the last 18 months, I realize that very few are about my hubby, and even fewer are about us as a couple. I thought this tag would be fun to post! A little bit about Matt and me!

♥ What are your middle names?

Susannah and David

♥How long have you been together?

We have known each other since I was born.

Dated almost 3 years

Engaged 8 months

Married 8 1/2 years

That means we have been "together" for almost 12 years!

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?

18 1/2 years...every day of my life!

♥ Who asked who out?

He did the asking.

♥ Who made the first move?

Our parents!

Our parents noticed the chemistry between us, discussed the situation together, and then talked to Matt about it. It made perfect sense to him because he had always wanted to marry someone he shared childhood history with (he did not believe in casual dating), so he called and asked me. And I fell over backward in my chair.

♥ How old are each of you?

me-30

him- 34

♥ Did you go to the same school?

Nope. We were in the same homeschool group for many years, though.

♥ Are you from the same home town?

We were both born and raised in the  San Jose Bay Area.

♥ Who is the smartest?

I'd have to say we're both pretty smart. We're smart in different areas, though. He has amazing Bible knowledge, and I'm the math whiz.

♥ Who majored in what?

Me- Child and Adolescent Development

Him- Biblical Studies

♥ Who is the most sensitive?

Me. For sure. But having kids has definitely brought out the seinsitive side in him.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?

We have a series of favorites that we rotate through.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

The Caribbean

♥ Who has the worst temper?

Neither one of us has a bad temper. If you had to choose, though, it would be me.

♥ How many children do you want?

3 or 4

♥ Who does the cooking?

Mostly me, though he is a great cook, too.

♥ Who is more social?

Definitely Matt! He is amazing with people.

♥ Who is the neat-freak?

We both are neat people. Recently I've been kind of freakish about it.

♥ Who is the most stubborn?

Me.

♥ Who wakes up earlier?

Matt for sure! He thinks 5 a.m. is a wonderful time of day. I think 5 a.m. is closely related to the devil.

♥ Where was your first date?

Sushi at Shogun in Spokane

♥ Who has the bigger family?

Immediate family? Matt! He has 6 sisters and a brother.

Extended family? Me! Let's just say that our wedding photographer has to stand halfway back up the aisle to take the family photo because my family is so huge! I think we sent out 50 invitations to family alone! That's 50 invitations, not 50 people!

♥ Do you get flowers often?

Several times a year because he knows I love fresh flowers.

♥ How do you spend the holidays?

Happily... together. We have lots of rich traditions.

♥ Who is more jealous?

Neither one of us is of a jealous nature.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?

2 months!

♥ Who eats more?

Matt! Because I'm a good cooker.

♥ What do you do for a living?

We're missionaries. He writes coaching emails for people who bring groups to our marriage conferences. He also travels to several conferences each year and works with the volunteers onsite. I am the blogging coordinator for our marketing and promotions department. I get to read and reply to blogs! First and foremost, though, I'm a domestic goddess/life artist. =)

♥ Who does the laundry?

Mostly me. It is my very favorite chore! (Except for putting it away!)

♥ Who’s better with the computer?

We're both experts at different things on the computer.

♥ Who drives when you are together?

Always him.

♥ What is "your" song?

You're Where I Belong (Trisha Yearwood)

I tag Lori A, Amy H, and Christine.

Of Butterflies and Rodents

I began my phone call to Matt yesterday with this question: "Which do you want first--the good news or the bad news?" Like me, he always prefers to hear bad news first, then chase it with the good news. But not yesterday. Yesterday I gave him the good news first. Here is what I said.

The good news is that our annual termite inspection turned up no evidence of termites.
The bad news is that the termite inspector found a really bad rat infestation in the crawl space under our house. There was evidence of possums there, too.
The good news is that we don't have to pay Terminix $1200 to clean out the crawl space, and that it will only cost us $30.
The bad news is that to get the $30 rate, you will have to clean it out yourself.
The good news is that insulation is easy to remove.
The bad news is that the insulation is so full of rat urine and crap that you'll need to wear a protective body suit, gloves, mask, and goggles in order to clean it all out. Thus, the $30.
The good news is that once the crawl space is cleaned out, we should all be much healthier.
The bad news is that all the respiratory illnesses we've had in our family in the last few months have been caused by bacteria from the rat-crapped crawl space seeping into our air system. It could even be the main, contributing factor in Pepper's chronic croup. (at this point commence the gagging...)

I finished my announcement with a piece of good news: "Guess what Honey? There's nothing on our calendar for this weekend so you can clean out the crawl space tomorrow!" Oh goodie...

When we woke up this morning, we were not yet ready to tackle the rat room. We figured the likelihood of encountering rats was higher during the morning, so we opted to wait for afternoon. Instead, we headed out to the Little Rock Farmer's Market for one more summer morning before school starts. I love the colors, smells, and sounds of the Farmer's Market. I didn't buy anything today because frankly, my spending money has grown wings and flown away. But my camera ate up the fresh produce and flowers just fine for free. We also paid a visit to the park by the Farmer's Market, which has a wonderful fountain for kids to play in. Snapper and Pepper love this park. It was one last splash of summer before school starts on Wednesday. Here are a few pictures from my morning.







This afternoon Matt and I tackled the rat toilet. Lucky Matt got to wear the protective gear and go under the house to rip out the offending insulation. He's my own, personal superhero...Rat Matt to the rescue!



I tied a bandana around my face, wore the oldest clothes I could find, and pulled all the insulation into a pile in the yard as Matt shoved it out from under the house. I can't even begin to describe how GROSS, YUCKY, DISGUSTING, REVOLTING, HORRID, NASTY, and EWWWWWWWW that job was! When all the insulation was out, it made a pile 15 feet long, 8 feet wide, and 6 feet high. It then took us an hour to stuff all that insulation into black trash bags...17 of them, to be exact. I can't tell you the last time my shower was so inviting and wonderful!

The next step will be to put ammonia under the house to drive out any remaining rats. Then we'll seal the pipe they're using as a door, and hope none have stayed behind to die under the house. If that happens, Terminix will come and remove the dead rat. Thank God for Terminix!

Because this post has been so nasty, I'd better leave you with something lovely to dwell on, something that won't give you the heebie-jeebies, but will fill your mind with visions of rainbows, flowers, and butterflies. Here's my favorite photo of the weekend, taken in my neighbor's zinnia bed. It might even be my favorite nature photo I have ever taken! Have I mentioned I love my camera?

The Many Travels

Well hello there, strangers! That's how I feel. It has been so long since I had the time to sit down and write. There has been much going on and many miles covered. Thanks to those of you who emailed to check on me. Yes, I am fine. All is well now that I'm sleeping in my own bed again.

In the last two weeks Matt and I covered a lot of miles in our trusty, teal minivan. I'll let this photo collage I made give you an idea of how many miles!



Every other year our sending agency holds a staff conference in Colorado. We gathered for 9 days with the many other U.S. staff for a wonderful schedule of speakers, worship, prayer, and seminars on practical topics. Matt and I had many quiet hours together. We took advantage of the kid-free time to re-evaluate where we are as a married couple, as parents, and in our ministry. We did a lot of laughing, plenty of crying, and even more dreaming. We asked God to show up and reveal His plan for our family, and He did just that. I have some exciting things to tell you, but that will have to wait for another week or two. I don't have the time to do justice to what I want to say. Anyway, the conference was absolutely fantastic. We have come home refreshed in every way, and ready to tackle life again. The kids had a great time at home with the friend who stayed with them. They did lots of fun things together, and didn't even want to talk to us on the phone until the last few days of our trip!

Two weeks ago I blogged about all the food we ate along the road, and I promised some pictures. Here are a few.

Chicken fried steak in Oklahoma


Steak in Texas


Waffle...obviously in Texas!


Sushi with friends Gary and Michelle in Colorado






Every Christmas I make a photo calendar for the people who support us. In the past it has all been Arkansas scenery. This year it will include some photos from our travels. Here are a few favorites, a sneak peek for those who will get that calendar!

Wyoming


Wyoming


Nebraska


Arkansas


Arkansas


Arkansas


Arkansas


Arkansas


Well, that pretty much sums it up for now. I leave on Thursday for California. I'm going to spend 6 days there with my sister going through photo albums and scanning pictures of my childhood. I'm looking forward to some time with my dad and step-mom, and my auntie, uncle, and cousins, too! Matt and the kids are staying home this time. I'll try to blog from CA, but I doubt I'll get to it. So until I return, adios!

The Sweet Breath of God

Last night was a tough night. Snapper had a swim meet, in which she did very well! Swimming has been such a perfect fit for her. I'll blog about that later, though. The swim meet ended at 7:30. I brought the kids home, and Matt headed up to the office to make phone calls. In case you're new(er) to my blog, Matt and I are missionaries with an organization that for privacy reasons, shall remain nameless. We are fully funded by concernced individuals who have a heart for seeing families stay together and succeed. Because we rely on support, Matt and I regularly have to work at raising more support to keep our paychecks stable. It is hard work, but it is also extremely rewarding. We have built some wonderful friendships with our dear supporters, and we love them so much. Anyhoo, our support has been a bit on the low side (actually, a lot on the low side) recently, so Matt had lots of calls to make.

When the kids and I arrived home, I got them into their jammies, gave them a snack, and tucked them into bed. I encountered three problems:
Problem #1: Matt is the king of bedtime in our house. He always puts the kids to bed.
Problem #2: The kids are sick. We are waiting on some test results to verify whether or not we have whooping cough here. There was such an improvement in both kids today that I think we just had really bad colds.
Problem #3: Last night was Pepper's second night alone in his new bedroom.

To make a long story short, I spent 2 hours trying to get Pepper to stop screaming, crying, and making excuses trying to stay up later. And for 2 hours Snapper did all she could to disrupt progress, including singing at the top of her lungs in her bed, getting several drinks of water, kicking the wall, and screaming about "monsters in the closet." Hello...monsters? Since when has she been afraid of monsters? Since never! So I found myself home alone and very tired with two feisty stinkers who did not want to go to bed. To add to the chaos, our kitties, Pixie and Zoe, were bound and determined to cause trouble. They were racing all over the house, streaking in and out of kids' bedrooms, clawing furniture, and pouncing on my feet every time I walked down the hall. CRAZY HOUSE!

I stood there in the hall feeling like I was going start pulling out my hair at any second, and then the phone rang. It was Matt. Every part of me wanted to tell him to come home now and deal with the (monsters) children. But then, like a lighbulb turning on, I had this amazing thought: What if all the chaos and frustration are satan trying to get Matt away from what God wants him to be doing? If I give in to the frustration now, Matt may miss out on an important conversation with someone, and satan will have gotten the upper hand.

No way, Jose!

I voiced that thought to Matt and asked him to pray for me. He spoke briefly with Snapper on the phone, and hung up. Then I got up, put on my big-girl panties, and went back to Pepper's room for Round 7 of bedtime routine. When he would not stop screaming, I gave him two firm spanks on his litle bottom. To my surprise, he instantly stopped crying and sweetly asked for a big blanket. I got a quilt from the hall closet and tucked him in. He said, "Goodnight, Mommy. I loves you" (He also said goodnight to the Jesus picture on the wall by his bed, and goodnight to the Jimmie Johnson poster on the wall at the foot of his bed. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes.

I went back to Snapper's room to tuck her in again. And there she was, little angel, peacefully snoring away in her bed. In the time it took me to walk to Snapper's room, to check on her, and to walk back to Pepper's room, he had fallen fast asleep, too. I went downstairs, baffled at the sudden turn of events. And there, on the living room floor, lay Pixie and Zoe, fast asleep.

When I sat down on the couch and listened to the quiet, I realized what had happened. I had recognized what was happening in our house. No one will ever be able to tell me that spiritual attack isn't real! It is real. I asked Matt to pray for me. He did, and he asked Snapper to pray for our home and family, too. She did.

And the sweet breath of God swept through our home, bringing peace and comfort. I can't properly describe the dramatic difference in the feel of our home. It happened in the blink of an eye. It went from psycho house to safe haven, just like that. I got down on my knees there in the living room and thanked God for His presence. For His care. For His peace and love. It was quite an awe-inspiring experience, and I just had to share it with you.

8 Years

On June 30, 2001, I married the man of my dreams. Yesterday we celebrated eight years of marriage. It has not been without its tough times. But when we said our vows, we promised to be faithful during those tough times, as well as the good times. I am glad to say that our good times have far outweighed the tough times. If I could go back 9 years to the day I accepted Matt's proposal, I would still say yes. A resounding YES! He is all I need and more, and I cherish each day I have with him. Here are a few pictures of our special day.

Little Flight of Horrors

Today has not been a good day. No, today has not been a good day AT ALL! Why???

Today I got on an airplane. Who likes to get on an airplane just days after a major airplane disaster? Who likes to get on an airplane with her husband and leave kiddos behind with friends just days after a major airplane disaster? I do not like this, Sam-I-Am!

Granted, my kids are with people who adore them, and who the kids adore. In fact, for the last 3 days Snapper has asked me several times a day how long it is until Thursday at 9:00 (the time we dropped them off with our friends). I have total confidence in my friends.

But...
There's always that what if that floats around at the back of my mind. I gave my worry to God, and was amazingly calm as the plane lifted off out of Little Rock. Amazingly calm--albeit a little bit queasy and airsick--when we landed in Dallas. I thoroughly enjoyed orange chicken, beef with broccoli, and chow mein at a Chinese restaurant in the airport, and felt much better. I was amazingly calm as the plane took off out of Dallas. And in the next 90 minutes I made great progress on the blanket I'm crocheting for my niece Anjali, due the beginning of July.

I suppose today was a good day. The plane landed safely in Phoenix, where my hubs and I are working at a marriage conference over the weekend. It was a good day because it starts a fun weekend of some time spent with my birthmom, and my friend Kara who I've been friends with since 3rd grade.

But today was also awful. About 45 minutes away from Phoenix, we hit turbulence. Now friends, I have done an awful lot of flying in my life. I've encountered lots of turbulence--some minor, some bad enough to make flight attendants scramble for their seats. But the turbulence we hit today was some of the worst I've experienced. Every few minutes, between bumps and rattles, the plane would catch a wind gust and kind of swoop to the side, and swing back to the other side. This girl has a sensitive stomach on smooth flights. Oh no, this was not good. I wasn't scared. That had to be God keeping the fear at bay, because it was one roller coater of a flight.

About 30 minutes away from Phoenix, I put away my crocheting and stuck my head down in my lap. Ooooooooh, queaseball! 20 minutes away from Phoenix I turned my air vent on full blast and sat at an odd angle so the air could blow straight in my face. I pushed very hard on the pressure points on my wrists that are supposed to relieve nausea. It didn't help, and now my wrists are bruised. Not doing well... 10 minutes from Phoenix I groped for the barf bag in the seat pocket and clutched it in my lap, frantically sending up silent prayers to God to PLEASE SPARE ME! The nice business man across the aisle was watching me with increasing concern for the safety of his suit. 5 minutes from landing, the ground was clearly in sight, and I could make out people swimming in the pools we were flying over. I started reciting Psalm 23 in my head in a desperate attempt to distract my brain from the warning signals it was receiving from my stomach. Psalm 23 was the only piece of Scripture I could recall at the moment. All the talk of sheep and prepared tables did not help at all. So I kept praying, and just willed the plane to land, to land, to land already! And then came the all-too-familiar sensation of salivary glands firing and throat tightening. I think I held my breath for a full minute, all the while screaming in my mind, "YOU WILL NOT THROW UP ON THIS PLANE!!! HOLD IT IN, BABY, HOLD IT IN!"

And then it happened. 2 minutes from landing, that blasted wind lifted the plane, and dropped it with a sickening thud. Not on the ground, of course. It was just another horrid lurch of turbulence. But it was the final straw for me. And oh horrors, up came my lunch, right into that very handy barf bag. Yes, some people actually do use those bags for purposes other than creating puppets to entertain restless children! Matt looked at me and his eyes widened. Apparently he had never seen me that color before. A lovely shade of green. I like green a lot...I just don't like to be green.

Then, mercifully, the plane landed. I managed to contain myself long enough to get to the bathroom. Wouldn't you know it, there was a line! And some woman had the nerve to cut in front of me. Hello, people! Can't you see I'M ABOUT TO HURL AGAIN! I made it to the stall just in time. And then there was nothing left in me to cause any problems. Ah, the relief of an empty stomach. I was so thankful we had not checked any luggage, and I had my toothbrush and mouthwash right there.

It is now 9:45 p.m. I am sitting in my very lovely hotel room at a beautiful resort. I ate a chicken caesar salad for dinner, and my stomach is still questioning that decision. I'm wiped out, and I still don't feel great. It was such an embarrassing episode on the plane. And I hate feeling sick in my stomach. I hope it all improves tomorrow. On the way home on Monday I will take dramamine. That, I learned today, is no longer optional for this girl!

Major props to my sweet, wonderful, amazing, knight of a husband who very gently tucked my, um...stomach contents...into his briefcase in order to spare me the embarrassment of having to carry my puke off the plane in that very obvious white baggie. Matt, you're my hero!

Ribbit!

At 8:30 last night the temp was a glorious 78 degrees! Matt went for a run right after darkness fell. The kids were still wired after Awana, so they watched a short movie in their room to unwind while Matt was running. When he arrived home, he found two Spring Peepers getting busy on our front lawn. So, he broke up their romance and brought them in for Pepper to see. Pepper is terrified...TERRIFIED...of bugs. But he loves reptiles and amphibians. Go figure...

When Daddy called him down, Pepper came trotting down the stairs to see the "fwoggies." He demanded: "Daddy, give one fwoggie wight hewe!" and then held out his hands for the frog. The frog obligingly sat for a minute in Pepper's little hands before taking a flying leap onto the living room floor. For 10 minutes, I watched in delight as my 34-year-old husband crawled around the living room with our son, chasing the fwoggies. Pepper hopped on his hands and knees just like the fwoggies. I've never seen him do that particular movement before! One of the fwoggies kept singing, too, which added extra fun into the mix. I've decided that one of my favorite parts of being a mom is watching my beloved interacting with our babies. I wish I'd had my video camera out to capture the antics of my boys. I wish I could share with you the fwoggie hop Pepper did, and the expressions of joy on my husband's face as he shared 10 all-boy minutes with our son. It was special--one of those moments I've carefully filed in my memories. Just had to share this!

Food...Umm, UMM!!!!

Yesterday and today can be summed up in one word: Food!

Soul Food: Today I completed my Old Testament Suervey course. It was an intense week of study (20 hours of class, plus reading the Old Testament, plus making flashcards and studying for the exam). But it was rich! Everything I learned will be digesting over the course of the next few weeks. Right now my head is so packed that I'm finding hard to focus on anything. The exam was brutal--150 questions covering the Old Testament, minus a few books. No study guide. Ugh! I thought I studied pretty well, but was still unprepared for the exam. It was HARD! I have no clue how I did. I still have 2 papers to write in the next 8 days.

Emotional Food: Tonight will be a fun, fun night! I'm scrapbooking from 6-midnight with some gal-pals from church, and my scrapbooking buddy, Taya. There is little else in life that I enjoy more than putting my precious family photos together to create a work of art! Oh yes, it will be fun!

Love Food: My hubby is the sweetest and best of men. He knew the tremendous pressure I was under this week, and completely cleaned the house for me. He also finished the tile project in the living room and bathroom. He also seeded both the front and back yards. He also cut down 2 trees in our back yard so our plants will grow better. He also quizzed me last night to help me prepare for the test today. He also made me a special treat while I was studying yesterday. He took Tostitos Scoops, filled each one with cheese, and baked them. Then he filled them the rest of the way with sour cream and salsa. My own plate of nacho bites! Doesn't he rock? Oh yeah, AND he took care of the kids all week so I could go to class and study. My man is THE man!

Body Food: Snapper's best friend, V, recently had a fundraiser for her school. She sold cookie dough, and a few other food-related items. I bought a crock pot cookbook, because I am in need of some new crock pot recipes. I tried one last night, and it was added to that elite category of recipes that my entire family scores a 10! Without further ado, here it is.

Chicken Tortilla Soup
(serves 6)

1. Place 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the crock pot.

2. Combine in a bowl and mix together:
1 can chopped, mild green chilies
2 cloves minced garlic
1 diced yellow onion
2 cans (15 ounces each) diced tomatoes, undrained
1 cup chicken broth
2 tsp. ground cumin

3. Pour mixture over chicken. Cover and cook on low for 6 hours, or on high for 3 hours or until chicken is tender.

4. Remove chicken from crock pot. Use 2 forks to shred the meat. Then, return the meat to the crock pot. Add 1 tsp. salt. Add chicken broth if necessary

Just before serving, add:
4 corn tortilla, sliced into 1/4 inch strips
3 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro

Serve in soup bowls, topping each serving with grated cheddar cheese, a slice of avocado (if desired), and a dallop of sour cream.

2008 Top 12

Happy 2009, my friends! I love New Years Day. I don't make resolutions, because it seems making a resolutions dooms my venture. Instead, I evaluate life and set goals for the year. On New Years Day, though, I also like to look back at the year prior. As I have thought about 2008 today, I have realized just how eventful it was. Here's a recap, inspired by my friend Lori: The Top 12 Photos of 2008. Each photo is a favorite of mine, depicting something special or unique that happened in 2008. I'll put an explanation of my photo choice under each picture.


This one had to come first because it is my favorite Snapper and Pepper photo from 2008. They didn't know I was taking their picture, and it perfectly expresses their love for each other. They fight, yes, but they love each other with a fierceness that amazes me.


Lots of things quicken my heartbeat, stir my emotions, but none more than watching my sweet husband interact with our children. Snapper and Pepper adore their daddy, and he is a fantastic dad. Whether they're sharing tender moments (see next photo), or wrestling together, their moments are sweet and I LOVE that!


This year Pepper's personality has emerged in full, and his focus has switched from Mommy to Daddy. Daddy is Pepper's hero (as it should be), and watching the father-son relationship blossom has been a high point of the year for me.


Each year I make a photo calendar for the dear ones who support our ministry. Throughout the year I constantly watch for those picture-perfect moments in nature to capture for the calendar. This is my favorite nature photo of the year, which is featured in September of my 2009 calendar. Why September? Because September (my birthday month) never has the prettiest picture! Hee hee!


Much of our character development focus with Snapper this year was on developing a heart of unselfishness. We watched her make great strides in this area as she is learning to put the needs of other before her own needs. This is the "after" photo...after she donated her hair to Locks of Love in May. What a neat opportunity to be unselfish! I'm so proud of my girl.


My boy is every inch a boy! What picture personifies my all-American son than this one?


He cleans up really nicely, too, though. This is Pepper's 2-year-old birthday portrait. It captures him completely.


For 3 years now we have lived 2400 miles away from our closest family member. Because of this I have come to the following conclusion: FAMILY is the best vacation destination. We enjoyed some time with my crazy-fun cousins in Oregon this spring. This picture is a reminder of the good times and great memories I share with my family.


Since we're away from family, we have chosen to make family here in Arkansas. This picture is Snapper with her best friend/adopted cousin V. It is my favorite because it captures the whole essence of 6-year-old BFF's.


Quite possibly the highlight of the entire year was Snapper's baptism. What greater joy have I than to see my children walk in the truth! Frosting on the cake: Matt got to baptize her. Snapper's heart belongs to Jesus!



After 10 years of sleep problems (horrible, regular nightmares, insomnia, frequent waking), 6 years of unexplained weight struggles, 3 years of abdominal issues, increasing extreme mood swings, and seasonal emotional slumps, I finally have answers. For all these years, no doctor has been able to get to the bottom of my health struggles. I've taken many different medications with no success, only acceleration of my symptoms. Until the end of August. When I went to see a new doctor recommended by several friends, I was at an all-time weight high. After 2 appointments, this wondeful doctor diagnosed me with Atypical Depression. For information look up Atypical Depression at www.webmd.com. He put me on a low dosage of an antidepressant, and my life has turned around. Every symptom that has baffled me for so long is explained by this condition, and one simple medication has solved the problems. As the chemicals in my brain have balanced out, my body has followed suit. My metabolism has increased, my appetite has decreased, weight has fallen off. I sleep through the night most nights and rarely have nightmares. All the other issues have resolved as well, and I feel better than I have since before Matt and I got married. The top picture of me was taken in July. The bottom picture was taken last week. I am 30 pounds lighter, and loving life again. The change in me rounds out (or rather, thins out) my Top 12 of 2008. I wonder what next year's Top 12 will look like...

Table Topics

I had a great day today! I spent the morning at LifeChange with Matt, getting our Christmas cards made. For lunch we enjoyed pizza as a family. Then I dropped Matt back at the office, and ran a few errands. I picked up a set of photography light reflectors and a piece of black velvet. I'm wanting to expand my photography to indoors, and learn the tricks of dealing with poor lighting. Pepper took a nap while Snapper and I played with the reflectors. I got some fantastic pics of her, and I wasn't even trying for them! I just wanted to test the light. I picked Matt up from work, came home, and made a wonderful spaghetti dinner. And then came one of my favorite times of the day: family dinner time! I love sitting down to a home-cooked meal and sharing sweet conversations with my husband and kids. It has been fun to hear these conversations deepen as Snapper has gotten older. We often discuss some deep things around the dinner table! Tonight, however, the conversation headed down a totally different trail. It was so random, and so funny, that I had to run upstairs and record it as soon as I was done with dinner! As you read, picture us:

Pepper, clueless, content and spaghetti-sauced-stained in his high chair at one end of the table.
Me at the other end of the table, desperately trying to play along and keep a straight face.
Snapper: To my left, totally serious in trying to carry on a grown-up conversation with her daddy.
Matt: The top tease in our family, seated across from Snapper, flawlessly executing his prank, his face the perfect study of seriousness.
Got the picture? Good! Now to this "deep" conversation....

Snapper: Mommy, I want one of those bunny things for dessert. You know, the bunny ice cream popsicle things the ice cream man has.

Emily: You mean Blue Bunny Fudge Bars? We can get some of those the next time we go grocery shopping. They're not that bad for you, and tasty, too!

Matt: A blue bunny in a bar would be very bad for you.

S: Why?

M: Because a blue bunny in a bar can't hold his liqour.

S: A blue bunny in a barb can't hold a bicker?

M: That's right!

S: Oh...

M: But a blue bunny in a barn would be just fine. A blue bunny in a barn is friendly.

S: What did you say before the barn?

M: A blue bunny in a bar can't hold his liquor.

S: Can't hold his liquor?

M: That's right.

S: What's liquor?

M: Yup. That would be bad. But you know what be even worse than that?

S: No, what?

M: A blue bunny in a bra! That would be bad!

S: What's a bra?

M: It's an article of clothing.

S: (blank look)

M: You know, like the top piece of a two-piece bathing suit.

E: (shows Snapper bra strap) This is a bra. If you were wearing a bra, would you want a blue bunny in it?

M: It would be like having a bee in your bonnet!

S: No way! I wouldn't want a bunny in my bra or a bee in my bra!

E: Why not?

S: The bunny would run around and scratch you or bite you really hard, and a bee would sting you and bite you, too!

M: There would be plenty of room for a blue bunny in my bra!

S: But he would still bite you and scratch you!

M: You know why a blue bunny is blue, don't you?

S: No, whay?

M: He is blue because he is cold.

E: (focuses very hard on eating salad, not making eye contact with Daddy, trying so hard not to laugh)

M: I have to work really hard to embarrass my family in public, but it's even harder to embarrass them at home!

S: I'm not embarrassed!

E: I'm not embarrassed either, just trying not to laugh.

S: I don't want a blue bunny in my bra. I just want a Blue Bunny Fudge Bar!

Here are a few pictures from my indoor shoot with Snapper today.

So Much

I am home now. Thank you to everyone (Debbie, Pam, Stephanie, Karana, Lannece, Nikki) who made our trip possible. It was a precious time. A dark valley. A brilliant mountaintop. This will be a long blog. It's mostly for me. I am honored to share my journey with you, should you care to read it.

Where do I begin? Matt and I pulled out of Arkansas at 6:00 a.m. last Wednesday, an hour later than planned because Matt's alarm didn't go off. Our right front tire went down in Jackson, Tennessee, and we had to make an unscheduled stop for a new tire. That put us behind another hour. We met up with friends for lunch in Nashville, but they were delayed and the restaurant had a half-hour wait. Behind another hour. Then there was no going over the speed limit AT ALL...not even a little bit. Why? Because we saw 38 state troopers between Memphis and the North Carolina border. Yes, I really did count. I always count state troopers when we're on a road trip. Helps pass the time. Anyhoo, that was an average of one state trooper every 12 miles. Then there was construction in several different places on the way which slowed us up even more. I did get to enjoy the beautiful fall colors in west and central Tennessee, but much to my dismay, it was dark before we got into the Smoky Mountains. We drove the painfully slow, dark 50 mph from Knoxville down through Asheville. It was almost 11:00 p.m. before we rolled into Joe and Bev's driveway in Salisbury, NC. One loooooong day! But it was great, too! Matt and I spent the first 2 hours on the road in a wonderful time of worship together. We talked about God, His goodness, how He speaks to us as individuals, and how we want to be more in tune to His voice. We prayed together, shed a few tears, and sang through the worship playlist on my iPod. Loved every minute of it.



It was kinda weird watching Matt and Bev see each other for the first time in 12 years. The last time they saw each other was when Matt broke up with her. Wow...I just had to try not to think too hard about it or it was just plain weird. We were all too tired to visit much then, so we headed to bed. In the morning Bev's husband Joe was off of work, so the four of us had breakfast and did some catching up on our families. Then Matt had to hit the road again, back to Kingsport, TN, for his LifeChange event. It was an important conference for him, the last step in his new job training. Bev and I had a quiet weekend together. We did some errands, went to a women's ministry event at her church, and went with Joe to Dan Nicholas Park to enjoy the fall colors.









We watched movies, napped, and talked. We also pulled a practical joke on Matt. Bev used to be a beautician. So we told Matt that Bev had bleached my hair and colored it blond. We put one of her wigs on me, took a picture, and emailed it to Matt at his event. He fell for it, and proceeded to show the picture to his colleagues at the event. Ha ha!!!! I love a good joke!



I also did portraits of their family. here are a few of my favorites.











Matt came back on Sunday night. And then things really got rolling. We stayed up until 11:00 just talking. On Monday morning, Matt and Bev, both early risers, got up before me and had a chance to work through some stuff from the past. They talked through some old hurts, answered some hard questions, and brought complete closure to their past. It was healing for them both. And healing for me as his wife.


Matt asked her if she believes God allows all things to happen for a reason. When she said yes, he asked her what we were doing there at her house in North Carolina. She then told him that for several years she has prayed for him: that God would keep Matt focused on Him; that God would give him a special wife who was just right for him; and that God would bring Matt back into her life so she could know he was doing well. When I felt that strong urge to look up Beverly at the end of August, I know now even more that it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit. God answered Bev's prayers for Matt. How glad I am that I listened to that prompting!



When I woke up and joined Matt and Bev, we finally broached that unspeakable question: what if she doesn't survive the transplant? And then the tears flowed. We cried together and talked through it. She is not afraid to die. In a way, she even welcomes the thought of going to Jesus. I'm tearing up remembering it. It was so hard to say goodbye and drive away from her. For the next 3 hours as Matt and I drove, we talked and cried through the events of the weekend. Neither one of us can really process everything that has transpired in the past few months. All we can do is marvel at the greatness of God, who in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to bring us into such a unique relationship with this precious family. "'My thoughts are completely different from yours,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9. Oh, how good God is!

Matt and I have learned so much from this relationship. Of course there's the obvious reminder that God alone knows what is best for us. But we have also experienced a change of perspective--a change that has come from spending time with someone who is nearing the end of this life. Our entire outlook on life has changed. All of a sudden new priorties have come into focus, and many other things no longer seem important. As we travelled through eastern Tennessee, we asked each other these questions: What matters in life? What are we doing that matters? What are we doing that doesn't matter? How do our lives fit into the scheme of eternity? How can we keep an eternal perspective as we walk through our everday lives? What does God want from us? How can we serve Him better? How can our lives bring glory to God? A lot to think on.


We spent the evening and night with our dear friends Chance and Jen in Tennessee. We hadn't seen them in 2 1/2 years, so it was lots of fun to catch up with them and love on their new baby girl, J. On Tuesday morning we headed out on the last leg of our journey. We were mostly quiet on the remaining 5 hours of our drive. We were delighted, of course, to see our kiddos again. But when we got home, it all came crashing down on me.

The wave of emotion that hit almost knocked me over. As I walked into the safe haven of our home, I felt like I was melting, smothering under the weight of the last week. I kissed the kids goodnight, passed them off to Matt, and crawled upstairs to our room. For 3 hours I sat cuddled in my bed with a roll of toilet paper (I'm out of Kleenex), my journal, my Bible, and my iPod. I felt desperate, in need of a touch from God. I poured out my heart on 4 pages of my journal. Then I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms. In the quiet of my room, I called out to God. And He answered me. I read and read, soaking up words of comfort, reminders of God's faithfulness, assurance of God's sovereignty, and promises that God has perfect plans for me. For Matt. For Beverly. The songs of worship on my iPod reaffirmed the words I was reading. After reading Psalm 23-Psalm 118, peace came. Exhaustion followed that wave of peace, and I drifted off to sleep.

Now it is the day after. Even the mundane details of today felt different. I have a new measure of patience with the kids. I saw today's discipline times (there were several) as opportunities to teach Snapper and Pepper about God's character and his desire for their lives. Laundry was a sweet act of service for my precious husband. I prayed through the prep of 4 meals (which are now in the freezer). Thank you notes to some of our supporters were a chance for me to thank God for them, pray for them, and encourage them with written words. My day almost seems unreal. Even now as I type, I'm asking the Lord to continue to draw me and grow me closer to Him. Oh, I'm hurting. But if there's one thing I'm aware of right now, it's that God meets me in the midst of my pain. And close to Him is the only place I want to be. How I love Him!

Okay, enough for tonight. I'll close with a little funny from today. I didn't want to eat the pork they served for dinner at church tonight, so I made an awesome beef stew and biscuits from scratch. I took a picnic basket of dinner up to church, and our family ate alone upstairs. I even brought honey for the biscuits. Snapper decided she wanted honey on her biscuits, but she couldn't get the honey container open. Instead of asking for help, she decided to try and open it with her teeth. To everyone's surprise, the honey lid popped out one of her baby teeth! Can we say shocked and amazed? That tooth wasn't even loose yet! As the blood gushed, Snapper was too surprised to even cry. I walked her to the bathroom to help her get the bleeding stopped. She giggled and giggled, shaking all over the whole time. I laughed until I cried! It was so funny, and her reaction was so cute. I love this losing teeth stage! She is so adorable with another space in her smile!