Monday, September 28, 2009

Sick Carnival Ride

Do you ever go through periods of your life where nothing seems to go right? Where the world just kind of seems topsy-turvy?
Thus describes this mommy.

First it was the teeth incident a few weeks back. Yup, I gave myself a very expensive birthday present of 5 fillings in my front teeth. Going back for more in 2 weeks.

Then it was the temporary death of the garbage disposal, in which rested of rotten Chinese food. Matt's hands don't fit down the disposal. Mine do.

Next came a bad flare-up of my lower back pain, which has been off-and-on trouble for the last 5 years, due to multiple car accidents from 2000-2006. (None my fault!) Did you know that most insurance plans consider a chiropractor to be a specialist? This means paying the specialist co-pay every time I go, which has been 8 times in the last month.

Snapper's eyes were an extra shock to the system. A rather expensive shock. But mainly a sobering shock, due to the serious nature of the condition. Praise God, though, her glasses have helped tremendously!
Those glasses are a lull in the storm.

Then I got slammed with a cold. But not really a cold. Something settled in my voicebox, and I had no voice for a few days. Lots of coughing at night, and pure vocal misery by day. Never a fever, which was good, but coughing and not being able to speak are very draining. And being a mom is very difficult when you have no voice! I still cough at night, and I can't raise my voice at all, but at least I can talk!

Mix in some tension in some relationships in our home and with some of Matt's family members. Don't worry though, Matt and I are stronger than ever in our marriage.

Last night I dreamed all night. Not happy dreams of unicorns and rainbows and flowers, though. Not happy dreams of ice cream and pizza an funnel cakes, either. Nope, just a repeating nightmare, over and over, all night long. I've never been so glad to see the morning come. I attended my mom's deathbed 4 times last night. Was trapped in a room full of pictures of her 4 times last night. Spoke at her funeral 4 times last night. Realized I had printed my wrong eulogy notes 4 times last night. And broke down in front of all the mourners at the funeral 4 times, too. When the alarm finally buzzed at 6, my pillow was soaked with tears, and I have been dragging all day. Yet I'm avoiding going to sleep again.

Today we discovered that Matt's car needs a new starter, and my car may be needing a new alternator soon.

And first thing tomorrow morning, I'm taking our cats to the vet to have them spayed. And injected. And licensed. And microchipped. None of thse are optional at this point. Bye bye, $250! And it's only that cheap because FUR (Feline Urban Rescue) is sponsoring our kitties to help us with the cost.

My world is out of whack, big time. I feel like I'm spinning out of control on a money-eating, energy-devouring, sanity-testing carousel.
Can anyone relate?
Please let me off now...


Tara said...

Our last 1.5 months were like that and still to a degree isn't a whole lot better. I don't know which way to turn, what to do, or when to do it. I'm confused about certain aspects of life but I must keep going. Eventually the ride will stop or at least slow down. I'm hanging on with you!

What is this about? said...

Emily, thank you for being so transparent. Not always easy. I'll be praying for you all that the carnival ride will stop!