Overheard in My House This Morning

If you had been in my house this morning you might have heard...

• If you can't speak kindly, go back to bed.
• It's time to get up now.
• Please put on your clothes and come to breakfast.
• No whining allowed outside of your room. Go back in your room and finish whining there.
• It's time to get up now.
• Please wash your hands before breakfast.
• Mommy's throwing up...stop pounding on the door and yelling at me!
• Don't eat that! It belongs in a tissue, not your mouth!
• If you're going to shout at Mommy, you may go back to bed.
• It's time to get up now.
• No pajamas at the breakfast table...go put on your clothes!
• Don't eat that! It belongs in a tissue, not your mouth! If you eat that again, I will clean your mouth with soap!
• There's no room for name calling in our family. Go back to bed and stay there until you're ready to be a kind family member.
• Eat what's on your plate with a thankful heart. Biscuits are usually your favorite.
• No school until you eat your breakfast.
• If you don't finish before the bus comes, you will be walking to school.
• Your teacher has been told not to give you snacks unless it is snack time.
• Go to the bathroom so I can wash your mouth. BOOGERS ARE NOT FOOD!
• It's time to get up now!!!
• Screaming is not allowed anywhere but your room. If you want to scream, go scream in your room.
• At prayer time, we are quiet and respectful to God.
• This means stop goofing off and giggling.
• If you can't control your mouth, we'll put tape on your lips to remind you.
• Close your lips so I can put tape on them.
• You may not answer questions with tape on your mouth...time to practice quiet listening and respectful taking turns.
• Just getting your toothbrush wet doesn't count as brushing your teeth.
• Go brush again.
• Do you need a short haircut, or will you stop hitting me while I'm brushing your hair?
• Go brush again and use toothpaste this time!
• Please turn out your bedroom lights.
• Don't leave your pajamas on the hallway floor, please!
• Tennis shoes to school, not flip flops! Two months into school, you know this!
• Have a great day at school today!
• See you this afternoon.
• I love you!

Laundry is cycling. Homeschool child is doing an art project. Dishwasher is running. Anti-nausea meds are digesting and making me so sleepy. 8:56 a.m. and I'm going back to bed.