Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What I've Learned

Okay, gonna lay myself open a bit on this post. Please tread lightly.

September will mark 2 years since my last miscarriage--and two years since I was pregnant. In those 2 years, my desire for another baby has steadily grown. While Matt doesn't share the strength of that desire, he also would be delighted with another baby. But it just hasn't happened. Each month I've waited and hoped that perhaps THIS will be the month...and each month I've been disappointed. And then everywhere I look, my friends are getting pregnant. I currently have 18 pregnant friends. I'm super happy for them, and being around them isn't a crushing blow or anything. I just have a little sore spot in my heart that aches a bit with each new announcement. I am trusting God for His timing, because history proves to me that He knows what He is doing, especially in the baby department. Someday I'll share this story. But anyways, about a month ago I had a great "conversation" with my blogger friend Michelle about my growing fears that we may be dealing with infertility. She shared with me a great website: www.fertilityfriend.com. She told me it would help me understand my body, and know fertility signs and timing. I also figured it would help me know if/when I should start seeking medical intervention. I've read lots of books on the topic, and thought I already did understand. But I visited the website anyway, just in case I was missing something. I have learned A LOT that wasn't even on my radar before. Here's how it works.

1. Visit the site and sign up for a free account.
2. Register for the free online learning fertility course.
3. Each day a short lesson will be sent to your email inbox. Read the lesson and take the short quiz. Each lesson gives detailed information about how hormones run your cycle, primary fertility signs, secondary fertility signs, how to read those signs in your body, how to chart the signs, and reading fertility charts. It was super helpful! On average, each lesson and quiz took me 5-7 minutes.
4. Every morning as soon as you are conscious in your bed, grab your thermometer off your nightstand and take your temperature. Enter it in your online chart at www.fertilityfriend.com
5. Follow the instructions on checking other fertility signs.
6. Enjoy your new awareness of your body as you watch your chart progress. The chart analyzes the data for you. It tells you when you are potentially the most fertile, marks your ovulation date, and predicts your next period. I know my doctor will be thrilled to add this chart to my records, especially if I use it for multiple months. It paints a very clear picture of what a normal cycle is for me. This will raise my awareness of normal, so I can tell if anything abnormal should arise. There's value in charting, even if you aren't trying to become pregnant! I wonder if charting would have helped my mom detect her disease earlier. She died of ovarian cancer. It was not detected until late Stage 3.

What I learned this week is likely the reason it has been two years since I've been pregnant: I was reading my fertility signs entirely wrong! My body operates at a delayed rate from the average woman's body. I now know for next month what to be watching for, and how to time it all. I'm very curious to see if this makes a difference! Only time will tell...

Thanks Michelle!

For more "What I've Learned" visit Musings of a Houseiwfe!

Also, my friend Sarah Mae is having a blogaversary party with TONS of incredible giveaways! Check it out! Apart from the giveaways, it is a wonderful, inspiring blog that every woman should know about.
Like a Warm Cup of Coffee


Jaime said...

What an informative and well-thought out entry. This was a very encouraging post and I know it will help a lot of your readers who are dealing with the same struggle.


Tara said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Yeah, the hummus was good and I liked it but I didn't love it. As you suggested, maybe I'll try mixing it myself.

I was one of those that got pregnant very easily. Honestly, I never knew so many women had miscarriages and struggled with infertility until I started blogging. It makes me sad because motherhood is the best thing to ever happen to me. Like you said, God's plan is perfect. I will be thinking and praying for you and I hope what you learned this week will help you in the future! I'm going to follow you if that's ok :-)

Musings of a Housewife said...

This has GOT to be a tough pill to swallow. Thanks for turning your frustrations into a very constructive posts for those suffering similarly. Praying for God to bless you with a healthy and successful pregnancy!!

Lori said...

Praying for you, friend! I'm so glad that despite the pain and disappointments you are relying on His perfect timing. However, with 18 (!!!) pregnant friends I can see how it might be discouraging at times! Love you!

Anonymous said...

I found fertility friend years ago when I was trying to get pregnant with my first child. There is also a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" that was like my baby-making bible! A ton of information in there too. Good luck on getting the timing right!

The Trendy Couple said...

I know the feeling of not being prego and every one else is saying that they are! I also use fertility finder and it has been somewhat helpful, but ultimately I have figured out it is in God's hands!

JanMary said...

Hugs and prayers for you this coming month.

18 friends pregnant - can't imagine how difficult that must be for you, wanting to share their joy while dealing with your own pain.

Hairline Fracture said...

That's awesome that you found out how your body works. I will say a prayer for you that everything will happen in God's timing.

fortyb4forty said...

There are so many that share your struggle, although it may not seem like it to you with 18 pregnant friends. I think you've found a wonderful source of information, thanks for sharing.

Stef said...

I'M very curious too... now we're all anxiously waiting. No pressure. :)
I know 26 pregnant ladies right now and its making ME want a baby and I just had one 7 months ago... so you're in my prayers. <3

Buffie said...

I completely understand how you feel. Before I had my daughter I had three miscarriages. Now we're hoping to have another baby and it just hasn't been happening. I just keep reminding myself that god has a plan even if we don't always understand it.