Several years ago--after a series of miscarriages that just about broke my heart--Matt developed a severe infection. The infection resulted in scar tissue. The scar tissue left us infertile. Though we were saddened by the doctor's difficult words, we didn't give up hope of having another child. After several years of trying for another baby, we called it quits. My heart couldn't handle anymore negative pregnancy tests. I begged God to give us another child, or to take away my desire for another baby. To my surprise, He took away the desire. I no longer wanted another baby. I was surprised, though, to find a growing desire in my heart to adopt an older child or two. You know where that story goes! In January, Matt and I adopted our precious Bubbles, Piper, and Sunny. With five children in our family, we were pretty sure we were done having kids for a while. We talked extensively about adopting teens in the future...the distant future. We also toyed with the idea of reopening out foster home. We seriously talked about fostering new babies. Matt and I figured having babies in our home would be valuable for our adopted daughters, whose own babyhood was completely distorted by their neglectful, abusive birth parents. All the kids were in favor of fostering babies. We were looking at renewing our foster care license in the spring.
And then, three weeks ago, I had a very bad cranky spell. I was mean, and I couldn't stop it. I also had some pretty hefty back pain. The next morning I was nauseous. I figured I was dealing with a bad PMS month, so I went to check my calendar. To my surprise, I realized I was 10 days late for my period. In all the craziness of getting home from our trip, VBS, and getting the kids started in school, I lost track of the timing of my cycle. This has happened many times before, but I sent Matt to the store for a pregnancy test, just to confirm that I wasn't pregnant. Imagine my surprise when that little test was positive in about 15 seconds!!!
Y'all, after years of heartache and infertility, God has seen fit to give us another baby! A precious little one that will belong to us, a baby we won't ever have to give back. Our little girls will get to watch Matt and me take care of our baby the way God intended parents to care for a baby. They'll get to love and nurture this little brother or sister who will belong to us forever.
I believe Bubbles best captured the emotions in my heart with her perceptive observation.
Mommy, this baby will be my real brother or sister. Snapper and Pepper are my real brother and sister too, but this baby will be even more real. This baby will never remember a time when we weren't all a family. To him, I'll just be one of his big sisters. I can't wait for the baby to come! It's going to be the most loved baby in the world!
I'm blown away. I never planned on having six kids. I never in a thousand years thought I would get the privilege of carrying another baby! But God, in His goodness, has given us this precious gift. I am SO EXCITED! Baby is due mid-April.