A Post for Me

Disclaimer: I write this post for myself. Feel free to read it, but know that it is meant to be a brief emotional release for me, and is not written with the goal of being uplifting or inspiring or funny. If I get around to blogging tomorrow, I promise it will be much happier.

This time of the year is such an emotional time for me. I've got the wonderful high that comes from preparing for my favorite holiday. For someone who speaks love by giving gifts, this is euphoria! I love shopping for special things for the people I love, and I anticipate giving the gifts far more than I get excited about receiving. Happy, happy time of year. Then there's the low that comes from missing my mom. It is the strangest mix of feelings. I can go from total excitement to complete sadness in just a few seconds. Obviously anyone who has lost a loved one misses them more around the holidays. For me that is compounded by the fact that my mom's birthday is December 23rd. If you are new to my blog and don't already know, I lost my mom to ovarian cancer 6 1/2 years ago. If my mom were still alive, today would have been her 60th birthday. In the past we have celebrated my mom's birthday by making a cake and having a memory party, looking at scrapbooks and watching videos of her. This year I decided to skip it. I think our upcoming move to Florida has my emotions a bit out of balance, and I just feel too fragile to pull up the memories. Tonight we celebrated Christmas with out friends Jim and Karon, and their 3 kids. It was nice to enjoy good food and lots of laughter on a night that was potentially painful. Now I'm headed off to bed. I'll close out this post with this: Happy Birthday, Mommy. I look forward to spending eternity with you. I love you.