The Post for Which There Is No Title

When Matt and I were on our road trip to Colorado this summer, not having kids in the car allowed us to talk in great depth about a lot of things. All the way from Texas up through New Mexico and into Colorado, we talked about our Stories.

Every person has a story. Every person's Story is defined by different themes that weave throughout life. Matt's life has been defined by Choices and Doing the Right Thing. Time and again he has been faced with major decisions. The bad decisions have left their mark. But the good decisions have really defined who Matt is.

My Story carries three major themes: Adoption, Goodbyes, and Cancer. Being adopted has obviously impacted my life tremendously. For as long as I can remember, I have loved and respected my birthmom, Sherry. My adopted mom, Lotte, told me over and over throughout my growing up years that precious Sherry made a painful and courageous choice to give me a better life. She gave me up out of love. When I was 20, I was reunited with Sherry, with the full love and support of my parents. In the last 10 years, I have developed a very close relationship with the woman who gave me life--I call her Mama Sherry. Mama and Mommy became close friends quickly. She and my mom were both present at Snapper's birth. She came with me to visit my mom 2 days before my mom died. Our relationship has grown and deepened over the years, and she has been balm to my heart.

Here is a photo of Mama Sherry (on the left), and my mom (on the right). This photo was taken at my baby shower in 2002.

Goodbyes have punctuated my life. My best friend moved to Washington when I was 10. Another close friend moved when I was 12. Yet another close friend moved when I was 13. Much of Matt's and my relationship was long-distance, so there were lots of Goodbyes during our 3 1/2 years of courtship. I lost 4 grandparents between 1989 and 1999. More Goodbyes. My best friend from college moved away shortly after Snapper was born. In 2006 we said Goodbye to the town I was born and raised in, my whole family, and my best friend Noel. I'm facing the possibility of another set of Goodbyes to my Arkansas friends next summer. More on that later. I have said painful Goodbyes to 4 babies miscarried. The hardest Goodbye of all, though, was losing my mom to ovarian cancer in 2003.

That leads me into the final theme of my life: Cancer. My mom vs. ovarian cancer. My dear friend Beverly vs. leukemia. Both battles I have been intimately involved in. My mom's battle is over, and Beverly is still fighting hers. But those are not the only encounters with Cancer.

Today, enter a new antagonist. His name is Breast Cancer. His victim: My Mama Sherry.

Here's the question that keeps spinning around in my muddled brain: How does a girl manage to have 2 mothers and have them BOTH get Cancer?

Sherr'ys cancer is Stage 2. The prognosis is "good." But, the cancer is in her lymph nodes, which is really, really bad. Another surgery will come on the 5th. Then chemo and radiation begin on the 10th. It will be 6 treatments, 3 weeks apart. She will lose her hair. She will get very sick. And I live 1500 miles away.

Here is what I know.
1. I HATE Cancer. Have I mentioned that I HATE Cancer? Oh, in case you forgot, I HATE CANCER!
2. Life is hard, but God is good.
3. God's plans for me are for good, not to harm me.
4. God works ALL things (even Cancer) together for good. Did you hear that? All Things. For Good.
5. God will accomplish His good and perfect will through the cancer that has invaded my mother's body.

So, are you seeing another theme popping up here?

God.
IS.
Good.

Ah yes. God's Goodness is another major player in my Story.

Tonight I opened my cedar chest. It is where I keep all my treasures of my mom's. Her Bible (which I pulled out to start studying). Her journals. A few special pieces of clothing. Her folders and folders of writing about what God was teaching her during her illness.. Her daily planner, filled in up to the date she passed away. Perfume. Jewelry. An envelope of my baby teeth and notes to the Tooth Fairy. All little reminders of my mom. All the memories of my mom's 3 1/2 year Cancer battle came back to me, and I wept. Actually, I knelt on the bathroom floor, and puked and cried. And cried. And cried. My precious husband put together a playlist of songs to help me put my eyes in the right place: on Jesus. Then I prayed and prayed.

The next months are going to be difficult. I anticipate many trips to Phoenix to care for her after her chemo and radiation treatments. I'm not sure what's worse--the exhaustion that comes from the daily grind of caring for a cancer patient, or being 1500 miles away from the cancer patient you long to care for.

Ultimately,, though, I know God will work this out for my good, for my Mama Sherry's good, and for His own glory, no matter the outcome. Would you join me in praying for Sherry's salvation? More than anything, I want her to walk through this able to cling to the hope and peace that only Jesus Christ can give her.

Well, I think the writing has been what I needed. The tears have stopped, and I'm actually feeling sleepy. Thanks for your prayers, my bloggy friends.
I challenge you to take a look at your own life and your Story. What themes has God woven into your life? How has He used those themes to mold and shape you, and to cause you to grow in your relationship with Him? Blog about it. Consider yourself tagged. =)

What I've Learned

Check out Musings of A Housewife for links to some really wonderful bloggers who are all participating in this week's What I've Learned carnival.

MUCH learning for me this week. MUCH learning!

1. It is easy to convert that pumpkin on your front porch into something delicious! I cut up one of our pumpkins, roasted it, pureed it, and made it into the most fabulous pumpkin bread I've ever tasted. I never plan to buy canned pumpkin again!

2. Beef stew made in the crock pot is so much better than beef stew made on the stovetop. Recipe coming soon!

3. 7-year-old girls are prone to panic and melt down when their goggles come off during a race at a swim meet. This tendency to come unglued is multiplied exponentially when the 7-year-od girl is coming down with a fever virus.

4. Adobe Photoshop Elements 8 is worth the investment, just for the ease of editing pictures, and the quality of the final product! I had saved up some giftcards, and was finally able to make my purchase! I love Photoshop!

5. I never fully realize how much I miss all my family in California until the holidays start drawing near. Then I miss them like crazy, and dread facing Thanksgiving and December and Christmas without all the beloved traditions and people of "back home." This will be our 4th round of holidays away from California, and I miss my family more than ever.

6. Not much else tops being told that your company is sending you on a business trip with your husband TO YOUR HOME TOWN...and that the business trip falls Thanksgiving week...and that airfares are low enough to allow you to take the kids, too! Oh, and some sweet friends will buy those kid tickets! Yes, that happened to us today!!!!! We're going Home for 10 days in November! I Can Not Wait!

7. Oh wait, something can top that! How about this:
We are missionaries. We are 100% funded by donations from individuals and churches who share our passion for seeing others reached for Christ. It has been normal that donations drop off in August-October, leaving us without full pay. On Wednesday I received notice that our paycheck for the 25th was going to be $850 short. That left us with a paycheck for less than the amount just of our bills. I resolutely looked back at how God has faithfully provided for us every time this has happened, and I chose to trust Him to provide again. I let it go, and was at peace all day, waiting expectantly to see what He would do. That very night at church, an anonymous church member left us a check for $550 and two $100 Walmart gift cards! The church treasurer was all grins when she gave us the envelope. I, of course, started bawling. Matt and I prayed and thanked God for His provision of $750. Two minutes later, another church member came to me and said, "Not a word from you now. God told me to give this to you." He gave me a hug and pressed a $100 bill into my hand. $850. The exact amount our paycheck was short. In our hands two days before the paycheck every hit our bank account!
This is not new to me, but I learned yet again that God is trustworthy. He says He will care for us. He is true to His Word, and I thank Him for it!

So I Won't Forget!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: one of my favorite things about being a parent is the funny things my children say.

One of my least favorite parts of being a parent is how many brain cells have disappeared from my head since giving birth to my children. Can I get a what-what? I know if I don't write down the cute things my kids say, those cute things will be gone from my memory by next week.

So I write them down, more for me than for you. But if you get a good laugh from them, I am very happy. I like to make people laugh, and so do my kids!

Snapper (age 7)

"I have been doing a lot of pondering recently. I have made a careful conclusion to start making wise decisions."

"Mom, forget going to McDonald's! I used to think you could win $50,000 for playing that Monopoly game thing, but now I know it's nothing but a big admitiser (advertising) gimmick!"

"Don't look now, Mom, but I think my brother is trying to pull the wool over your eyes!"

at her swim meet, right before the first race: "I'm so nervous that the butterflies in my stomach are also in my bladder and I think they are going to make me pee in the pool!"

Pepper (age 3)

when walking through the athletic club, yells at the top of his lungs to the 5 people on the treadmills: "Hey there! Keep on working it! Go get those muscles! Get those muscles! Get those muscles! Go, go, GO! I know you can do it!"

to a lady at Snapper's swim meet: "My name is Spiderman Kid Boy Pepper!"

to the nurse who did a blood draw for me on Tuesday: "You hurt my mommy, so I'm going to squash you like a bug right now! Be very afraid!" (she pretended to be scared, then beat it out to the hall where she burst out laughing)

"No Mommy, I'm not your boy! I'm your precious, adorable boy!"

after I hung up from a phone call with Matt: "Mommy, you weren't talking to my daddy, you were talking to your sweetheart!"

"I'm not Spiderman yet, but I will be any minute! I'm just waiting for my webs to come in."

"Mommy, I'm NEVER sleepy! And I'm NEVER naughty! And I'm ALWAYS hungry!"

I asked him if he wanted to exercise with me: "No Mommy, I don't like to exercise. I would rather sit on the comfy couch with my cozy blanket and eat cheese and crackers!"

"Don't be angry at me, Mommy, I'm just too cute for that!"

comes into my room wearing blue and yellow plaid shorts, a Hawaiian floral patchwork shirt, and red socks: "Look at me, Mommy! I got dressed all by myself! I'm so handsome, Mommy! Aren't you proud of me?"

"I hafta go potty right now! I can't wait! I think the candy I just ate is going to push the poop right out of me!"

while watching me exercise: "Wow, Mommy, your butt sure is big!" (Mom's favorite line...)


Have a happy Sunday!